Michael Is Going To Be Heather Chandler Since He Wears Red Much Better.

“Yare yare daze…”

Jeremy: I know you don't technically have emotions- Me: There's no technically about that statement. Jeremy: Okay, so I know you don't have emotions. Knowing that, how come you still roll your eyes and sigh in frustration and things like that when I do something stupid? Me: Annoyance and frustration are universal languages that even binary can translate. Jeremy: So for you it's literally a state of being. Me: Yes. When I say, "I'm frustrated," I mean it literally. Jeremy: Like a chameleon! Me: *attempting not to shock him for that awful comparison* Yes... very much like... a... chameleon..

Whoever programmed me with the ability to drink digital vodka, thank you.

I might now be able to get drunk in real life,

But at least I can drink

Jeremy: I’m hungover.

Me: Well, whose fault is that?

Jeremy: You were supposed to tell me to stop drinking!

Me: And you were supposed to listen to me when I told you that the alcohol was messing with my system!

Jeremy: ...How do you make a hangover cure?

I deeply regret my decision and have serious concerns about why he would choose a dolphin. It doesn't even have fur.

Dearest Internet, what is a Furry?

Michael keeps referring to Jeremy as one, and I have no idea what that is.

This is another one I made because I have 0 impulse control

I should probably say pretty much right off the bat that this is a side blog and has all the limitations of one

My main blog is @vodkasquip and will show up if I like anything from you or follow you.

Sorry for any and all inconveniences that this causes!

Send “📂“ for a random yet completely useless headcanon I have

GODDAMMIT JEREMY THIS IS NOT FUNNY SHE IS DEAD

Jeremy and Michael won’t stop watching Game of Thrones and I am going nuts.

Also, I love the Direwolves.

Jeremy has managed to go through a ten-minute time period without becoming an incoherent mess while on a date with Christine. 

This is a huge improvement.

Michael wanted me to deliver a message to all of you

The message is: I’m gay and depressed but I still have a best friend and you can do it if I can. 

Then he made a dinosaur noise. I’m not sure if that was part of the message or Jeremy pouring ice water down his shirt, so I included it.