Latest Posts by thesapsmith - Page 8

Repost to spread. (Not really humor)

Think you would do another part to the missing for a year ask

Missing For A Year Part 2

What originally was supposed to be a day of remembrance and comfort to those who had mourned the ‘death’ of the two leaders of ®WBY and (J)NPR, quickly became a revelation of confusion and shock. For after almost a year after their supposed passing, Ruby and Jaune returned to Beacon at the day of their own memorial with more than a few surprises. Many of the friends family felt relief that their friends/children/sibling while others had…..unique reactions.

Glynda: For the love of-I JUST HAD THIS SCHOOL FIXED! (Starts to repair the damages done to the door) Mr. Pine would you be so kind as to bring back Miss Schnee and…the newly announced parents. Preferably before she tears the courtyard apart.

Oscar: I’ll try but I can’t make any guarantees.

Glynda: Understandable. Now hurry!

Oscar starts to sprint after them in order to calm matters before they escalate. Meanwhile, the remaining friends of Ruby and Jaune take in the new situation.

Blake: Are they going to be ok? Weiss seems pretty mad.

Neptune: Yeah she’s fine, the two of them… well not so much.

Sun: By the way, how’re you doing babe? I mean we just did get a major truth bomb dropped on us.

Blake: I’m really not sure what I’m feeling. Shock, elation, grief, betrayal…..it’s a mixed bag at the moment.

Sun: Hey take whatever time you need. In the meantime, want to go see the new babies!

Blake: …..Sure. I think that’ll be nice.

Neptune: Also should we get Ren? He’s been still as a statue for a good minute or two. I think he’s also forgotten how to breathe.

Ren: godchildren…godchildren…I’m a godfather…

Sun: Ok buddy come on let’s go. *Grabs him like a cardboard cutout*

Meanwhile….

Ruby: ‘Huff! Huff! Huff!’ I think we lost her

Jaune: *Kneeled over in exhaustion* Man, here I thought we were gonna be having a nice reunion with everyone. Not to run in our own funeral.

Ruby: Technically it was a memorial.

Jaune: Haha. Oh yeah like that’s way better.

Ruby: Look, let’s just see if we can talk to her. She seems pretty upset about it all. Can’t imagine what she’s going through. I mean we basically were proclaimed dead by everyone then to suddenly just stumble back into their lives unannounced and without warning.

Jaune: Yeah that would put her in a questionable state of grief.

Ruby: I wish we could make it up to her you know.

Weiss: Maybe you can by accepting your punishment… *Peeking over the bush they were hiding in*

Slowly the couple turned their heads backwards to see their assailant right behind them. Nervous expressions written on their faces due to the unnervingly calm the SDC heiress/huntress was being.

Ruby: Weiss…hey, how are you?

Weiss: Good…heard you’re married now…and with children.

Ruby: Y-Yeah. Had a really busy year.

Weiss: Oh I had a busy year too. By busy I meant that I spent most of the past year in grief over the death of two of my dearest friends.

Ruby: Oh…that sounds terrible.

Weiss: It was…but do you want to know what’s worse than grieving over the dead?

Jaune: What’s that?

Weiss: Finding our that all your grief was wasted on two absolute morons who didn’t even know the proper way to send a letter to their grieving friends. But who also managed to start up a new life entirely ignorant of the pain their absence caused others. But you want to know the bright side?

Ruby/Jaune: …..what’s the bright-

From a birds eye view, newly installed cameras recorded the sudden appearance of a massive snowy explosion in Beacon’s courtyard. The sound of the sudden explosion alerted the attention of the deputy assistant to the headmistress, as he saw a large amount of snow built up seemingly out of nowhere.

Oscar: Oh no…Welp! At least I know where they are. *Starts running*

It takes Oscar about five minutes to get to the epicenter of the explosion as he had to walk through all the snow built up from the explosion. There he finds Weiss holding onto a supply bag and a rather large ice cube.

Oscar: Weiss, did you have to do this in the courtyard?

Weiss: Yup.

Oscar: ‘Sigh’ Honestly I don’t blame you. By the way where’s Ruby and Jaune?

Weiss: Close by. *Uses Myrtenaster to spin the ice cube to reveal everything but the faces of the couple encased in the block of ice*

Ruby: *Teeth chattering* H-H-hey Oscar… how’s it…ha-hanging?

Oscar: I’m good…..are they ok?

Weiss: Oh don’t mind them they’re completely fine. This is just the punishment they are going to endure being stuck in one place for the remainder of the day. Right? *Glares at the two leaders*

Jaune: *teeth chattering* Y-y-yeah! To-Totally…no problems here! R-R-Right Ruby?

Ruby: *teeth chattering* Y-Y-Yep! Totally… peachy!

Oscar: Somehow I don’t believe…

Weiss: Oh you worry too much. They’re not going to get hypothermia from being in there. There Aura will protect their body temperature and the worst they can get from this is a cold.

Oscar: How kind of you.

Weiss: Do you want to go in the cube?

Oscar: *puts hands up in surrender* No! I’m good! I’m completely ok with being outside the cube.

Weiss: Good! Now come along you too, a LOT of people probably wish to see you right now. Weiss then uses her summoning glyph to bring out the Arma Gigas, who takes block of ice and carries it for her. With Oscar by her side the two begin to walk back to the main auditorium of Beacon.

Glynda: There you are Miss Schnee, did you manage to reconcile with- Why do you have a giant ice cube?

Weiss: Yes. I did in fact reconcile with my leader and her…husband. And for why I have this ice cube, see for yourself.

The Arma Gigas leaned down so that Goodwitch could see the couple’s faces.

Glynda: …..So I see. Well in any case, a lot of the Xiao-Long and Arc Families are eager to see these two. So would you mind if you could-?

Weiss: Of course.

Weiss’ summoning places the ice cube down and pushes it inside, causing the block to slide against the floor until it’s in the middle of the room.

Ruby: H-H-Hey everyone!

Taiyang: Ruby! *Runs over everyone in his path to get to her* My precious little bud! I-I can’t believe you’re here and alive! …..I…I thought I lost you too. *Hugs the cube*

Ruby: O-Oh Dad….I’m s-so s-s-sorry! I would h-hug you if-f-f my arms we-weren’t f-frozen.

Taiyang: It’s ok sweetie…you’re being here is all I need.

????: JAUNE MILES ARC!

Jaune: O-oh Crud…

A middle aged blonde woman marches over to the ice cube, with a frying pan in hand. Her eyes seemed to project fire despite having no magic.

Jaune: M-M-Mom! H-H-Hold on a s-s-second! I c-can exp-plain!

Mrs. Arc: Young man…..you…*drops the pan*

Jaune: Huh? *Face gets cradled*

Mrs. Arc: My baby…my baby boy…..*sobbing*

Jaune: M-M-Mom….. *Gets tarry eyed* I-I’m sorry for making you g-g-go through that.

Mrs. Arc: Oh Jaune…you have nothing to be sorry about my little blessing. You’re here now.

Nora: Awww! What a wonderful family reunion!

The others began to gather around the cube to ask their questions about where the two leaders have been this entire time, and the couple did their best to answer the many asked questions. Weiss even lessened the temperature of the ices o that they could say complete sentences without the cold stuttering.

Blake: Where happened to you two when you two defeated Salem?

Ruby: Well do you remember how she used her magic to bring the temple up to the atmosphere? Well when it was descending we saw that it was heading straight to the face of a mountain so luckily, both of us clung to a straying falling fragment in time while Jaune amplified our auras to withstand the impact of landing.

Jaune: Still has a bit to spare to heal us enough so that I could carry us to a nearby village. It was a fairly new settlement that probably was uncharted on most maps at the time.

Ren: Which means we wouldn’t have been able to find the village…

Jaune: Bingo!

Yang: *Holding Summer in her arms still, while the baby was contently playing with her hair* What happened to you afterwards?

Ruby: Well after Salem’s defeat, Jaune and I decided that we both wanted to take a little bit of a break from huntsmen work, so we decided to do some traveling. We already confessed to each other after the first month and got our marriage license in the second month at a court house. By that time we had gone from Mistral to Vacuo. But at the time of the third month…..I started to get sick, a lot. Didn’t take us long to go to a doctor to see why and to both our surprise I was a couple weeks along in my pregnancy.

Jaune: So we put exploring the world on hold and settled down in a local down in Southern Vale.

Weiss: How did you keep you’re presence under the radar for so long?

Ruby: Honestly we didn’t even know people were looking for us since Salem’s defeat so we just dressed like normal citizens and kept our hunting gear in our briefcases.

Weiss: Of course you did. *Face palm*

Nora: Welp looks like everything worked out in the end! All’s well that ends well!

•

•

•

Jaune: Um…Nora. Where’s Rowan?

Nora: Huh?

Jaune: The baby you were holding before we ran off you were holding onto him and now you’re not.

Nora: I’m not! *Looks all around herself, but finds nothing* …..Uh oh.

Jaune: …..Nora, you were watching him did you give him to somebody else?

Nora: I don’t think so!

Ruby: What! Nora did you lose my baby!

Nora: Ren did I give him to you?!

Ren: No I haven’t even gotten to hold him. *slightly disappointed*

Nora: Uuuuuhhh no, oh gods. *starts to hyperventilate* I don’t know what I did with him! I LOST THE BABY!

????: Ahem!

Nora and the others look to the source of the voice and there they see Whitley looking upwards.

Whitley: I think I found your missing baby. *Points Up*

Everyone looks up and to the parents surprise/horror, Rowan had somehow climbed up to the ceiling and was crawling on one of the ceiling beams.

Rowan: *Cute Baby Noises and waves at them*

Ruby/Nora: AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!

Nora: Don’t worry baby I’ll save you!

Weiss: Whitley! Why didn’t you tell us this sooner?!

Whitley: *Still looking up* He was doing fine climbing up there by himself so I wanted to wait and see if he could climb down.

Nora: *Up on the beams, slow to approach the infant* Hey there baby Rowan! Hi sweetie~ Listen why don’t you come over here to Auntie Nora. Come on~

Rowan: *Baby noises and crawls the opposite way*

Nora: Wait. No Rowan! You’re going the wrong way! Over HERE! Towards ME!

Rowan: *Baby noises but looks down to see the giant ice cube.* Aaaaaah! Ma! Ba!

Nora: Yes you want to go see mommy and daddy right? So just come over to me and I’ll take you to them. Ok sweetie!

Rowan: Hehehehe! *Falls over the edge*

Nora: NO! *Trues to catch him but fails*

Ruby/Jaune: ROWAN!!

Rowan falls down from the ceiling and just before he gets close to the ground his descent is slowed down before it stops completely leaving him completely suspended in midair. Then he is levitated over to his savior, Miss Goodwitch.

Glynda: Young man. I should let you know that playing in the ceiling is no place for a child to play.

Rowan: ….. *blows raspberries then laughs*

Glynda: *Smiles* You’re very lucky you’re not one of my students. Not yet anyway. Miss Rose, I believe this is belongs to you. *Levitates the baby over to Taiyang, who was standing right by her*

Ruby: Oh! My sweet baby boy, I’m so glad you’re safe!

Rowan: *cute baby noises* Ma!

Everyone: Awww.

Nora: AAAH! *Falls to the ground* …..I’m ok! Ow!

-End of Part 2-

Hope you guys like this second addition to the Missing for a Year post I made a month ago. Stay safe and I’ll talk to you all later!

Juane and ruby go missing for a year only to show back up to tell yang she’s an aunt and ren is The Godfather

*At the newly reopened Beacon Academy, a large groups is congregated in front of a new statue inside the school, currently covered in tarps. Of this group consists the remains of team ®WBY, (J)NPR, SSSN, CVFY, C®D(L), FNKI, Ace-Ops, (S)TRQ, Penny and Pietro Polendina, Maria Calavera, Winter, Willow and Whitley Schnee along with their butler Klein, Ghira and Kali Belladonna, the redeemed Illia Amitola, Mercury Black, Emerald Sustrai, and Neo Torchwick, as well as the entirety of the Arc Family and Athena Nikos, and the old Beacon Faculty. They are all seated in the auditorium as the newly appointed Headmistress Goodwitch takes the podium.*

Glynda: Good Afternoon everyone, I know for many today may not be such a good day. Today we are here to commemorate the death of Ruby Rose and Jaune Arc, two of Remnant’s greatest heroes. They sacrificed their lives today precisely one year ago at the final battle against Salem. You here are the many who know what the war was like and what it has cost. ‘Sigh’ I knew both Miss Rose and Mr. Arc, I want to say that they were two of the most exceptional students during their time here, but that would obliviously have been a lie.

Everyone: *Laughs*

Glynda: While they may have not been the most prominent of their peers, they held the most promise. I know for a fact that Ruby Rose was born to be a huntress, but it was her heart that made her a great one and Mr. Arc….I knew when he first came here that he was wildly unprepared for the trials that were to come before him. He did not excel in any subject he was in, and at the time he wasn’t particularly strong, but he more than made up for that with his desire to learn and to support his team. They were…..

*The Audience saw that Glynda took a moment to compose herself. Those who knew Goodwitch always aware that she cherished her students very much. After the Fall of Beacon, she had to count the amount of students had been slain by Grimm, Atlesian Knights and White Fang Insurgents. It was difficult for her to keep her emotions hidden at times but kept a strong front for many years, but she wasn’t perfect. As she recomposes herself she continues.*

Glynda: They were wonderful students and showed us all that even the most simple souls can conquer great forces. As such, we are here to commerate them and those who have fallen throughout this conflict by adding this monument to our newly reestablished Beacon Academy, so that others may know of their heroic deeds and ultimate sacrifice for all mankind.

*With that the tarp is removes and showcases a statue of Jaune and Ruby together in similar poses to the statue at the front of the school. Behind it is a large marble wall to serve as a memorial to those who had fallen at the fall of Beacon and its reclamation.*

Yang: ‘Sniff, sniff’ See sis…I told you you’d be the bee’s knees. Just wish you’d be here to see it.

*The group gathered are so preoccupied with the commemoration to notice that the main doors opened and someone walking through. At the stage, Oscar Pine prepares to say his own words.*

Oscar: I hadn’t known Ruby and Jaune as long as many here, but they have had a profound impact on my life. They encouraged me when I was pretty much thrusted into a conflict I was gradually unprepared for. But they were there for me and I will always be grateful to them. Ruby…Jaune if you can hear us, we miss you and we hope you two are in peace.

*The person walk towards the group, while everyone is too busy to focus on the new guest. At this point Weiss Schnee has taken the platform.*

Weiss: Ruby was my partner and team leader but more importantly than that she was my friend and sister in arms. I can’t say we started out that way, I constantly butted heads with her and wasn’t the best teammate at first. As time continued, I saw her for the qualities that made her a great leader and a powerful huntress. But she is more than that…she’s my best friend. Who I miss every day.

*The person stops to take a seat behind everyone else and waits until the event is almost completely done.*

Yang: That was great Weiss, thank you for saying that.

Weiss: I meant every word, I….I just wish Ruby and Jaune were still with us. ‘Sniff, sniff’

Neptune: You did great, I’m sure she would have appreciated to hear that.

Weiss: ‘Sniff’ Thank you. I just miss them so much.

Yang: Me too, Weiss. Me too. *Wipes a tear with her bionic finger, when someone next to her hands her a tissue. Which she takes and blows her nose.* Thank you.

Ruby: Any time sis!

* * * * * ‘Ding!’

*Everyone in attendance does a double take and looks to her right to see her ‘deceased’ half sister right next to her with a box of tissues. One of which she uses herself.*

Ruby: Everyone has said so many nice things it’s *Blows Nose* So beautiful!

Everyone: RUBY?!?!?!?!

Ruby: Huh? Why is everyone so surprised? I mean I was a bit surprised nobody invited me to the reopening of Beacon and a little ticked no one tried to contact me.

Yang: Ruby? You’re here? You’re…YOU’RE ALIVE! *Grabs her sister in a tight embrace that almost turns Ruby blue*

Ruby: Guh…Yang…can’t Breathe!

Yang: Wait a minute! *Lets her go* You’ve been alive this entire time? Where have you been?! We looked for you for almost a year!

Ruby: Oh, well I was preoccupied with my-.

Voice: Look I’ve already told you I’m a former student here, now if you just let me through!

*The front door opens once again to reveal another guest, this time in the form of the ‘deceased’ Jaune Arc, with baby carriers strapped onto him. He looks over the crowd and stops the person he’s looking for.*

Jaune: Ruby, there you are I was looking all over for you! Man you won’t believe how rude these new guards are. Barely let me in here without a fight.

Ruby: Hehehe. Sorry Jaune! I just got so excited to see everyone again that I guess I forgot to wait for you.

Everyone: JAUNE?!?!?!?!

Jaune: Huh? Oh hey guys, long time no see!

Nora: F-Fearless Leader? You….YOURE ALIVE!!! *Prepares to glomp him. Making his eyes enlarge.*

Jaune: NORA STOP!!! *Outstreched his arms.*

*Nora almost collided with him when she stops mid air, she falls down when she takes note of the little people on his chest. One girl and one boy.*

Nora: Are…are those…?

Jaune: Yeah they’re babies. Well more particularly me and Ruby’s babies.

Everyone: BABIES?!?!?!?!

Ruby: Well of course they’re our babies, I mean Jaune and I have been married for almost a year now.

Everyone: MARRIED?!?!?!?!

Yang: OH FOR GODS SAKE WILL EVERYONE JUST CALM DIWN FOR TWO SECONDS!!!

* * *

Babies: *Start crying*

Yang: Oh shi-! *Rushes to the two infants sides* No, no! I didn’t mean you two! Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. Please don’t be mad at Auntie Yang…..oh gods, I’m a Auntie!

Ruby: Yep. Also Ren and Nora are the godparents.

Ren: G-Godparents! *Blushes*

Nora: ‘GASPs!’ I. Have. God Babies! *She grabs the boy and holds him above her.* Oh my gods you and I are gonna have so many adventures together! Oh my wittle, shmittle, melittle…what’s this baby’s name?

Jaune: That would be Rowan.

Nora: Rowan! My little man, I’ll take you on all my conquests and together we will rule the lands!

Rowan: *Cute baby laughter*

Jaune: Not even a day and she’s already claimed him. Sorry little guy.

Yang: *Moves towards his side* Annnnd this one would be? *Gestures to the baby girl*

Ruby: This is little Summer.

Yang: *With permission from Jaune she grabs the baby gently and hold Summer in front of her* Summer huh?

Summer: …..*Cute baby giggle*

Yang: *Blushes* ….I’ve only known this baby for five seconds but I would protect her with my life.

Ruby: Yep babies will have that effect. But I’m really surprised that you didn’t know about them until now. Haven’t you been getting our letters?

Yang: Letters?

Ruby: Yeah, the letters we’ve been sending you every month for the past year.

*Everyone looks perplexed about what the young mother was talking about.*

Jaune: Wait you guys are serious you haven’t been receiving any of our mail to you all?

Neptune: Dude for a year we thought you guys were dead!

Ruby/Jaune: HUH?!?!?!

*Both finally noticed that everyone was wearing all black and that the decoration around them was fit for what seemed to be a wake. Including the giant memorial statue in the back of the auditorium.*

Ruby: What the-? JAUNE! Did you not send any of those letters through the mail!

Jaune: Of course I did! You had them all stamped right?

Ruby: …….oh gods I forgot about the stamps.

Jaune: What?! How could you forget about the stamps! That’s the only way to make sure the mail gets to where they’re supposed to go!

Ruby: It’s hard ok! They get so sticky and at the time it was hard to do so without ripping them. I thought they’d make a exception.

Jaune: Ruby, the postal services always check for stamps, otherwise they don’t send the mail!

Ruby: Oh~ I’m sorry.

Jaune: ‘Sigh’ Look it’s fine Ruby, I didn’t check and assumed the stamps were there in the first place so we’re both to blame.

Ruby: ‘Sniff’ Thank you dear! *Hugs Jaune* I love you!~

Jaune: I love you too Rubes!~

Weiss: …..Ruby….Jaune…..

*The lovey dovey couple suddenly stop their affection when they feel an icy chill up their spines. Slowly they turn around to see their longtime friend Weiss Schnee behind them with a shadow overcasting her eyes and Myrtenaster in hand.*

Ruby: N-Now Weiss! Let’s talk about this!

Jaune: Y-Yeah it was a honest mistake!

Weiss: I know…that’s why you get a five second head start. Right now.

*Without a word, both husband and wife race outside the doors and run for their lives.*

Jaune: The kids will be ok right?!! We can trust the others to handle them right!!!

Ruby: Yeah they’ll have a blast!!! Just don’t look back!!!

**Explosion!**

Weiss: YOU DUNCES!!! COME BACK HERE AND TAKE HOUR PUNISHMENT!!! YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR ALL THE TEARS I’VE SHED!!!

-Fin-

Author Notes:

Yes i made a JoJo reference.

I decided to add my two OC Lancaster babies. This is not canon to that particular AU but I loved the idea and consider it a AU to the AU.

I may continue this for a little if you guys want. Probably nothing too serious but fluff.

Blake: I AM THE NIGHT!

Jaune: And I’m the... knight?

Isnt it ironic that canonically that blake trained in ninjistu. One the most graceful fighting styles cannot dance, but jaune arc the person who was considered one of the most clumsiest people in beacon, can dance

Poor boy is gonna get a complex.

You wanna give Jaune faunus fever Kali? Cause this is how it happens.

Maybe she’d give his number to Sienna or someone.

Wonder how Kali would react if she found out bout Jaune having a thing for her. Would she not care or would she confront him bout it?

Kali: Awww! That’s so cute! I remember when I used to have a teenage crush. It was on one of my teachers when I was a student. But Alas I am a married woman now…

*Loosens her robes a bit showing off her cleavage*

Kali: But that doesn’t mean I can’t give poor Jaune some nice memories~

Would the Huntresses name the dog ‘Happy’?

Puppy

Joanna:  What is that?

Fiona (holding a puppy): He followed me home!

May: Did it?

Fiona (mumbling): I followed him.

Robyn: You were lost weren’t you?

Fiona: The Signs Confused Me!

May: Wait a minute, that’s a Sheepdog

Fiona: No, no, nonononononono, don’t you start-

Joanna:  Awwwwwwwwww!  He herded you home!

Fiona: Shutup!

Robyn: Well in that case, I think we can make room, its good to have someone who can find you when you get lost.

Fiona: WHEN!?

Something like her ‘fake huntress’ outfit might be neat.

Excuse me while I figure out a post-redemption Cinder outfit after the Grimm arm has been defeated.

I wanna add more Pyrrha elements to her clothes.

I was wondering what this ship was called, My guesses were either Ladybug Knight or Lan-cat-ster. Crimson Knightshade sounds better though. I’d say Scarlet Knightshade, but that should probably be Velvet instead of Ruby.

Crimson Knightshade: Ruby and Blake arguing about the perfect birthday gift for Jaune.

ALRIGHT!!! (YOSHA!!!)

————————————————————

Anonymous asks: The Rose, the Kitty, and the Knight (RWBY)

————————————————————

*Jaune is simply walking down the halls of Beacon, until he hears an argument*

Jaune (leaning his head in closer to Team RWBY’s door): …Huh?

Ruby (yelling): …He wouldn’t want a dead mouse, Blake!

Blake (also yelling): …Okay, fine! How the entire “Ninja of Love” series?!

Ruby: That’s filth, Blake!

Blake: That’s not filth! That’s literature at its finest! I’m sure Jaune would appreciate it!

Ruby: What Jaune would TRULY appreciate is an additional upgrade to his already awesome weapon: Crocea Mors!

Blake: How would you know?

Ruby: As a weapon enthusiast: I should know!

Blake: What Jaune truly deserves is a lot of loving! I also should know!

Ruby: True, but it shouldn’t be from somebody who takes reference from a filthy book!

Blake: Hey! Don’t call my-

*Knock! Knock! Knock!*

Ruby: …I’ll get it. *Opens the door, and Ruby’s surprised to see Jaune there* J-Jaune! Can…I do anything for you?

Jaune (chuckling): …May I come inside? Sounds like you and Blake were having an important conversion.

Ruby (blushing): Wait! You were-

Blake: Of course! Come inside!

Ruby (angrily): BLA-

*Jaune walks inside*

Jaune: So, uh…what’s this about?

Blake: We were talking about-

Ruby (attempting to cover Blake’s mouth): Don’t say- MMPH!!!

Blake (covering Ruby’s mouth): …The perfect birthday gift for you. *Blushes*

*Ruby also blushes, Jaune also blushes hearing this*

Jaune (shocked): …Oh…well, um…to…be to honest, I don’t need you two to get me the “perfect birthday gift” for me, because I already have what I want.

Blake: O-Oh? And what’s that?

Ruby (unmuffling herself): Yeah! What’s that Jau- MMPH!

*Jaune kisses Ruby on the lips, then kisses Blake on the lips, causing both girls to blush massively*

Jaune: It’s you two! Ruby…Blake…you two are the perfect gifts I could ever want! I don’t care what you get me, so long as I make you two the happiest people on Remnant!

*Ruby and Blake, hearing this, IMMEDIATELY tackle Jaune onto the ground, pelting his face with kisses*

Blake: J-Jaune!

Ruby: So, um…we’re your…

Jaune (chuckling): My perfect gifts? Yes! I don’t need- *Gets muffled by Blake* Mmph?

Blake (blushing): Anything…?

Ruby (blushing): All you need it Blake and I, r-right?

*Jaune doesn’t say anything, but nods*

Blake (happily): Oh, well…Ruby, I think exactly what I should give him~…

Ruby (happily): Oh? And what’s that, Blake?

*Blake unmuffles Jaune, then strips herself naked. Ruby, seeing this, also strips herself as well*

Jaune (shocked): W-Whoa! H-Huh…?

Blake: Jaune, please…

Ruby: T-Take your early birthday gifts…as…as early as possible~.

*Jaune obliges, then the trio spends the rest of the night doing “stuff” together, until they fall asleep happily on Ruby’s bed*

Ruby/Blake (falling asleep): Jaune…

Jaune (falling asleep): Ruby…Blake…as long as I have you two, I…

*The trio falls asleep together*

Yandere Pyrrha AU

Pyrrha: i’ve been feeling like we’re not as close anymore so i got us friendship bracelets.

Jaune: okay.

Pyrrha, handcuffing them together: there you go.

I like Suger Mama Salem as much as anyone, but surely the best sugar mama for Jaune would be Willow...Thoughts? Headcanons?

Yandere!Willow Schnee

It all started quite innocently.

Jaune needed money for training and equipment. Willow Schnee needed an extra pair of hands around her garden. Preferably, the kind that would listen to her orders instead of her husband’s.

Jaune did a good job tending to the Schnee matriarch. He wasn’t working to get into Jacques’ good graces or worm his way into a lofty SDC position through her.

Willow liked that very much.

Slowly, as she took more time to examine her servant boy in her more intoxicated hours, Willow started to fantasize about the young man. Not a true love, not at that point. But the idea of being caressed and loved passionately after so many years of drowning her sorrows certainly warmed her loins.

Jaune was surprised when, after half a year of working under Mrs. Schnee, he was gifted with a silver watch. A very expensive gift for someone like him. He tried to return it only to have Mrs. Schnee deny him that. When asked what he could do in exchange for it, she asked him one simple request.

“Please, call me Willow.”

Had to go looking for this because you’re the only person ever to spell Jinn with one n

Magic knight AU

*a few weeks after salem’s defeat*

Yang: can’t believe this is finally over.

Ruby: i know, me too.

Weiss: what do we do now? I mean, with the relics, we can’t leave them all together, it would be really dangerous.

Nora: then we should throw them away right? That way no one will ever find them again.

Ren: we used the power of the maidens to finish salem, so i don’t think we can use the vaults anymore, and considering they attract grimm it would be better if we threw them somewhere far away from population.

Oscar: why don’t throw it in the ocean? people won’t find it there and the grimms would stay surrounding it, but since they’re gimms they won’t use them, that way even if someone tried to get them he would have to deal with several underwater grimms.

Ruby: thats a good idea.

Yang: sounds good for me too.

Blake: then i think is decided, we’re throwing them in the ocean.

Jaune: well, before we do that, i was thinking about something.

Ruby: what is it?

Jaune: we never really used our third question for the relic of knowledge right?

Weiss: yes, there’s one last question available since we managed to defeat salem without asking her anything.

Jaune: *picking up the relic of choice* then i know what i’ll ask her.

Ruby: jaune, what are you-

Jaune: jin.

*time freezes around them and a blue mist comes up before a tall blue woman shows up*

Jin: hello again childrens, its been awhile.

Ruby: *sheepishly* yeah, it is.

Jin: i still can answer one more question in this era, so, what is your question.

Ruby: well, i don’t know, jaune is the one who called you.

Jin: really? *turns to jaune who’s blushing and looking away* is there something wrong?

Jaune: *face as red as a tomato* d-don’t you wear any clothes?

Jin: i don’t have the need to use them, you can look if you want.

Jaune: *slowly turns to her, still trying to keep his eyes away from areas they shouldn’t stare* okay.

Jin: *chuckles* you’re a cute little one aren’t you?

Jaune: *blushes a bit more*

Jin: so, what is your question?

Jaune: well, you being the relic of knowledge and all, i think you know already what we’re going to do with all the relics right?

Jin: you’re planning to throw them in the ocean, i’m aware of that.

Jaune: so, my question is, are you happy? With y’know, being trapped alone into this relic for all this time and probably for the rest of your life?

RWBY,NR,OSCAR: *eyes wide in surprise.

Jin: *taken aback* what?

Jaune: are you happy with being trapped alone inside the relic?

Jin: …young man, are you sure that you want to use your last question for that?

Jaune: *nods*

Jin: *with a small smile* i must say im surprised, i never expected anyone to make me sutch a question, but no, i’m not happy being inside this lamp, being trapped there alone for more than a millenia isn’t exactly what you would call fun, i wanted to see the places i know on my mind, but i can’t, i am a prisoner from the relic *raising her arms* these shackles are a proof that i’m never going to be really free *looks down slightly* my job is to answer questions and thats what im going to do for the rest of my existence; or at least until the relic of knowledge exists.

Jaune: so, you can’t really be free because of the lamp?

Jin: yes, unfortunately.

Jaune: but what if the lamp didn’t existed?

Jin: it doesn’t matter, no one would risk a relic with unlimited knowledge just to free someone like me, my fate has already beeb decided, i’ll stay here forever.

Jaune: you’re wrong, we are the ones who decide our fates, no one can do that for us.

Jin: im afraid i can’t do that, not while i’m still trapped by the lamp.

Jaune: then lets take care of it *unsheathes his sword coating it in a bright white aura*

Jin: wait, what are you-

Jaune: HRRAHH *slashes the lamp breaking it completely*

RWBY,NR,OSCAR: *drops jaw on the ground*

Jin: *eyes wide and completely speechless* …why?

Jaune: this way you’re free right? Now you can choose your fate and decide what you want to do with your life.

Jin: *stares as her shackles slowly vanish* i-

*times starts to pass again and jin gets covered in a blue mist before falling on the ground*

Jaune: *hurry towards her* jin are you oka…*blushes deeply*

Jin: *now with a fair skin tone, blue eyes, blue hair, slightly shorter than jaune in height and completely naked* what? i’m…human…?

Jaune: *looking away with a dark red blush* i-i think so *takes off his hoodie handing to her* t-take it for now, at least you won’t be naked.

Jin: *eyes start to tear up before she leaps at him, trapping him in a tight hug* thank you…thank you so much…

Jaune: *blushing to an atomic level* i-i-its o-okay, d-d-don’t worry about t-that.

Jin: why did you freed me? I don’t think i can answer big questions without the relic.

Jaune: *trying to ignore the embarrassment and her naked chest against his shirtless torso* w-well, n-no one should b-be treated like t-that, i c-couldn’t let y-you t-t-trapped in there, n-now y-y-you c-can choose w-what to d-do with y-your l-life.

Jin: so, i can choose whatever i want?

Jaune: *nods*

Jin: *smiling and hugging him closer* then i want to stay with you, forever and ever.

Jaune: *blushing to a solar level* wait! What!?

RWBY,NR,OSCAR: …

Yang: is it me or jaune just smooth talked a hot ancient relic into being his girlfriend?

Weiss: honestly, i gave up trying to understand these things a long time ago.

War of the roses headcanons?

War of the Roses Headcanons

Ruby likes being sandwiched between Jaune and Weiss when they sleep

It makes her feel comfortable and safe to have her lovers beside her

Jaune is usually super hot in the middle of the night, with Ruby in a blanket burrito next to him

Meanwhile, Weiss usually ends up freezing in the night, clinging to Ruby’s blankets

Weiss likes getting piggyback rides from both Jaune and Ruby, but only when they’re indoors

Jaune and Ruby make tons of food puns while grocery shopping, while Weiss pretends she doesn’t know them

Then they started texting her the puns

She can’t escape

She secretly appreciates the puns, but they embarrass her

Nora Valkyrie went from three seasons of no boyfriend to three seasons and counting of two boyfriends and their adopted son, and I think we should all aspire to turn things around that much.

Jaune x Vernal.

You definitely love the good ol’ prep school girl falling for the dangerous bad boy from the wrong neighborhood.

Especially when the girl is a boy and the boy is a girl.