Yang: Jaune’s Team Is Kind Of A Hot Mess Huh Ruby?

War of the roses headcanons?

War of the Roses Headcanons

Ruby likes being sandwiched between Jaune and Weiss when they sleep

It makes her feel comfortable and safe to have her lovers beside her

Jaune is usually super hot in the middle of the night, with Ruby in a blanket burrito next to him

Meanwhile, Weiss usually ends up freezing in the night, clinging to Ruby’s blankets

Weiss likes getting piggyback rides from both Jaune and Ruby, but only when they’re indoors

Jaune and Ruby make tons of food puns while grocery shopping, while Weiss pretends she doesn’t know them

Then they started texting her the puns

She can’t escape

She secretly appreciates the puns, but they embarrass her

This is what I want from a Team STRQ prequel, this is all I want.

Just give us four sets of like six or eight episodes each, summarizing them going through Beacon. Leave the drama out, I just want the action and hijinks.

Do you think Raven always assumed she was going to be tribe leader, and similar to Weiss took offense to Summer being chosen as leader over her, because she felt like she was meant for the leadership role? Except, unlike Weiss approaching Port and just inquiring about it normally, Raven was super salty and extra about it and snuck into Ozpin's office, so as to confront him when he walks in, swivelling round in his own chair like "So, Professor Ozpin. I'd like to discuss you reconsidering the leader for team STRQ" Or just straight up trying to sneak up and fight him to prove herself as a strong and worthy leader.

And Oz for a while not actually giving her an straight answer and just sort of going with it because it's infinitely entertaining and good training.

well i do now!!

the first time raven sneaks into ozpin’s office, she overshoots the chair turn completely. she’s never actually sat on a chair that swivels like that before and uses way too much force. she recovers pretty quickly, but it doesn’t go unnoticed by ozpin who’s really trying to keep his face neutral and not smile.

(he’s somewhat successful in that.)

raven’s never been good at making convincing arguments, so obviously, it didn’t work. so sneak attacks it is. every other student and even some of the teachers are flabbergasted because you can’t just attack The Headmaster like that, but ozpin’s just like “good morning miss branwen :) i believe your first class of the day is on the opposite side of the campus :)” in the middle of their little fight.

when none of this works, raven turns to looking for information about ozpin. for blackmail reasons. totally something that a leader would do, if you ask her.

she doesn’t find much, other than the mystery of “what is ozpin drinking from his mug”. it’s not coffee, and it’s not tea, that much she knows. her whole plan of blackmailing him is ruined when ozpin just. straight up tells her that it’s hot chocolate. and raven would be much saltier about it if she wasn’t also curious of finding out what the hell hot chocolate even is, and not knowing what hot chocolate is? that’s not something ozpin can stand for.

so the next time raven sneaks into ozpin’s office, ozpin’s ready and he has hot chocolate prepared. and raven would be extra salty, because how dare he know she was coming, but also how dare this drink be so good. so she can’t stay that mad for long, but by gods she tries.

ozpin eventually gives her an straight answer... probably. but by the time that happens, raven has completely forgotten what this all was originally about, that’s how sidetracked she got. the message is still received, sure, and if anyone asks?

raven has never snuck into ozpin’s office for hot chocolate. that has never happened, and she certainly didn’t keep sneaking in after the first time just for that reason. nope, no sir.

Lewd white knight

Weiss makes jaune wear a collar and a leash

It’d been one weird morning for Jaune Arc, he woke up in an empty dorm, which was rare enough. And he was getting a strange sort of attention. It seemed like whenever he said a word, greeting the people he knew or even just excusing himself past anyone he didn’t, half the heads in the hall would snap in his direction.

Jaune: Good morning Professor Goodwitch.

Glynda:  Ah~! *Flinches in her seat. Crushing a coffee mug with one gripping hand.*

Jaune: Miss? Are you alright?

Glynda: Yes! Yes, I’m fine, Mr. Arc, was just up a bit too late… Filing…

Jaune: Seems like you do everything around here, do you need any help with your hand?

Glynda: No. Well, maybe one thing…

Jaune: Yes? Professor?

Glynda: Could you… *Reddening* Say my name again…?

Jaune: …?

Inspired by RWBY Chibi: Jaune's ASMR blog goes viral, and turns out all the girls at Becon are getting off to his soft whispering voice.

Nora: Hey guy! Morning! Did you hear the news?!! Jaune’s got a new ASMR cha- *Looks at Team RWBY* -nnel. . .

Yang: *Looking sweaty and disheveled*

Ruby: *Nodding off half asleep*

Weiss: *Looking tired and wearing a wrist brace*

Blake: *Passed out and snoring on top of her books*

Pyrrha: *Blushing* I think they heard about it.

Yang: *Has bag under her eyes* I haven’t slept in 3 days. . .

Vernal: What about these two? *tears open her shirt*

jaune: gimme one reason why i shouldnt kill you.

vernal: because we're alone and we know theres a sexual tension between us

jaune:...

vernal:

I was gonna joke Pyrrha might have them, for this exact reason. She toys with them using her semblance. Often when she studies or trains with Jaune.

Like others said, Weiss would want them, for rebellion. But she’d probably be terrified to actually go anywhere to get them done. In case she’d get recognized and ratted out.

And yeah Blake might have them, broody riot girl energy and all. Bonus points if she had Ilia pierce them while they were in the fang. That poor gay lizard.

which rwby girl would have nipple piercings

Great as always, now I've got a sudden need to see Elm blushing in a wedding dress.

How about some Elm × Jaune?

(sure)

Elm Ederne was not a woman Jaune would have thought he ended up dating.

He didn’t mind at all, though.

Elm was a giant of a woman, strong as hell and quite feisty. She didn’t hesitate to ask him out when he caught her interest and then drag him into an unusual wrestling date.

Those who said not to have sex on the first date never met Elm, who went with the flow and simply snuck into the showers after the two of them getting sweaty.

Which was where jaune discovered something rather adorable of the usually tough woman.

Once in the afterglow, she became a cuddly teddy bear, desiring affection and kisses, turning any consequent rounds into a mellow, loving and slower affair.

Which brough them to now. Jaune had just finished turning Elm into her cuddle bug self, thoroughly enjoying her huge and soft body against his own. It was always a refreshing change whenever her Nora-esque demeanor gave way to this.

“ready for another round?” It was not really an ask; he knew she was up for it. Though, just as she rolled over, letting him be on top and greeting him with a loving smile, the door burst open.

“For fucks sake, you two!” Vine snarled. “It’s been two hours now! Get the fuck to sleep!”

Salem bringing out the mom voice.

Salem: Neo, have you considered that if you didn't kill everyone you had sex with, you might not be so frustrated?

Neo: *flips Salem off*

Mercury: Neo treats men like she treats her outfits, she cuts them up and burns the remains when she's done.

Emerald: Cinder does too!

Neo: *hurls glass at Emerald for mentioning that name*

Mercury: hahaha she missed because her arms are too little!

Salem: Neo, that's enough and you two should stop winding her up!

Would Jaune even attack Oscar if Pyrrha survived though?

Most of Jaune’s animosity for Ozpin and his group seemed to come from Jaune reading the whole Maiden thing as a sort-of guilt-trip Pyrrha got stuck in.

I might be remembering wrong though.

I still firmly believe that Pyrrha would've come to adore Oscar if she'd lived long enough to meet him. I can picture her mothering him so badly, concerned about whether he's getting his vitamins and nutrients, or if he's getting enough sleep, or if he's homesick... *sigh* I miss her.

Oh, she definitely would be a member, if not the leader, of OPPS, dear anon. I wonder how would that work with Nora's personality? I've seen people viewing her as his "mom" or "sister" and I can't really choose which one is better XD

I think Pyrrha would also treat Oscar similarly to Jaune in v1-3 - provide mental support, train with him, protect if necessary etc. Not to mention Pyrrha being alive would change sooo many things. We can only speculate about what would go differently. And I can certainly picture Oscar looking up to her.

I miss Pyrrha too, dear anon. She was a sweet character and it would be fun to see her saving the world with her friends. Now the only thing we have left is letting her rest and move forward.

Anyone remember Hancock?

I’m joking, but it reminded me of this.

Quick question: What happens if Jaune amps himself when he nuts?

I believe the answer would be a stellar career in the bukkake portion of porn

Either that or guaranteed conception