Shame How You Both Misspelled Lazagnea…..

i was drinking coffee and someone asked me a question and i answered but i forgot i had coffee in my mouth and it all fell out helnp me

Thank you @clown-college-honor-roll for tagging me :>

[uQuiz] [picrew]

@ anyone who wants to join!

NOBODY IS GOING TO MATCH MY FREAK (none of the people from my college liked my bug identification instagram story)

dead. but i refused, and i continue to walk the earth

trick or treat!!

aww and what are you supposed to be!!

I already slapped myself in the face. Make sure they all have to do it too, or my suffering will have been in vain

there are so many "if this gets (insert number) notes i'll do something productive/good for me!" but has there ever been one where someone goes

if this gets 10k notes i'll slap myself in the face

i suppose i'm wondering

would people be so eager to reblog if it would cause something slightly unpleasant?

Got 5 pages of my essay written in one hour god is real

there’s a website where you put in two musicians/artists and it makes a playlist that slowly transitions from one musician’s style of music to the other’s

it’s really fun

the dentist makes me feel like a whore. they open me wide and jam their fingers and toys into me, they tell me to bite down, they call me good and obedient. it’s sexually charged s’what it is.

Ok guys had a dream. I had a job interview but i didn’t know where so I filled out all the info after a shower at like 11 at night, and my dad drove me there. It was this weird place directly attached to a Holiday gas station, and when I walked in, it SCREAMED money laundering front. It was an Indian restaurant, but in the most dilapidated room ever, and it was directly attached to both this warehouse filled with common household goods and a room entirely filled with a pool devoted to the main “business source”: Underwater horse walking. I walk in and am met with what looks to be an old Asian man and his 4 sons. The sit me down on a table and begin the interview. First they bicker about a few tasks, apparently one of the sons drained the pool too early. Then they ask me if I can navigate the warehouse, and if I have a swimsuit. One of the sons asks if I like his craftsmanship on a rack of homemade guns in a way that feels like a thinly veiled threat, and I am saying whatever I think will get me out of there alive because I am terrified for my life. Then they pull out a sheet of paper that looks like a hiring contract and a list of 7 more questions to ask and ask me, quite literally “Are you the type of person who asks a lot of questions about what they’re told to do, or can you just get the job done” and I tell them that while I can ask questions, if they tell me not to, then I won’t, and they laugh at me. Then, before they ask the 7 questions, I ask them “What is underwater horse walking??” They all laugh, and the old man says something along the lines of “When I think about what it is, I’m terrified. How can a man not be when he finds the secret of life on Earth?” It turns out, in the dream, underwater horse walking is some way to unleash the ancient cosmic power of creation, and he’s using it in some odd way to like, make new life i think? I don’t remember his exact goals. Then an order comes in for paper towels so I have to help stack ramen. At this point I’m thinking of telling y’all about this place because apparently the store is actually crazy good and has like a lot of foods from other countries crazy cheap. Then Ms. A (my senior year English teacher) walks in. She greets me and asks me about like the place and hands me my family’s car keys (??????) because apparently she needed our car for something and apparently my dad is there, and I’m like “I am NOT working here” so then I leave and the dream gets foggy from there. Idk what this all means like at all

every other language be like “hello! where is the bathroom? i love you!” and latin is like “the cruel farmer savagely decapitated the young boy in the field”