Worship The Emperor, Of Course.

Sure, go ahead.

I swear, if I hear *one more person* simplify fulgrim to just "yassss queen slay" I am going to break something. He's such an interesting, tragic and relatable character and I wish people didn't simplify him to "haha pretty boy".

Given Malcador's expression, that's exactly what just happened.

You know that time a couple invited the Queen of England to their wedding and she actually showed up? Imagine someone kinda jokingly inviting a Primarch or even Big E Himself and to their shock (and likely horror) they rsvp

Fucking hilarious. Big E could technically shapeshift into a less recognizable form but where's the fun in that? He arrives as he is, with Malcador as his plus one.

Fulgrim in memes: haha sex addict, <homophobic stereotype>, <homophobic dogwhistle>

Fulgrim in lore: the best of the primarchs, came from nothing, became ruler of his planet through people liking him, turned his planet into the jewel of the Imperium, didn't view himself (or his sons) as 'above' the common people and in fact cared deeply for them, was married multiple times and loved each of them (and was hurt badly by the fact that they had finite lifespans), conquered a planet with seven marines, was such a capable smith that Ferrus declared the weapon he forged to be better than his own, humble enough that he said Ferrus's weapon was better, snuck up on Horus with an entire fleet and almost averted the Horus Heresy (FUCK YOU EIDOLON), beat Ferrus Manus in a fight (twice), only fell to Chaos because of his self-hatred after killing Ferrus, beat Roboute Guilliman, used Perturabo to fuel his ascension to daemonhood, strangled an Avatar of Khaine (no, this isn't dumb. Avatars of Khaine are warp entities, and strangulation is an intimate, visceral act of violence), and spent a good chunk of the past ten millennia trying to bring Ferrus back on his side.

i think i should be able to duel people who mischaracterize fulgrim and just base him on the memes

MF be like "Leandros should have gone to a chaplain or libarian and handled his suspicions of Titus in-house", and you know what? I get that. There's precedent for it. I remember reading about this big incident at the end of the Great Crusade where space marines handled suspicions of heresy in-house. I don't quite remember the name. Something starting with an "H", I think.

I feel like Death Guard would be the type to cuddle a lot, given Nurgle's temperament. I'm fairly sure I heard something about how certain more durable suits of terminator armor are especially coveted because they allow the marines to cuddle the beasts of Nurgle for longer.

Um hi! Hope you're doing well. I love your stories of astartes cuddle piles. I saw in your bio that requests were open. Would it be possible to see more chaos space marines cuddling? I find the idea so contradictory and it's fascinating. Hope you have a good day!

Space Marine Cuddle Pile - Part 5: CSM Edition

Previous - Writing Master post

Cultists wondering why a section of the walkway is void of anyone and no one will walk through it. They barely take one step in and are met with hissing. They immediately leave to find another path. Hidden in a small recess, like sardines in a can or a clown car, man Nightlords are crammed together. Nestled into each other's embraces, gentle touches, no talking. They only need each other and their company.

The only two World Eaters in a warband have walked past each other at least three times now. They just growl and nod at each other. On the fourth time, they lunge at one another as if to attack. They don't as they embrace each other and crouch on the ground. Fuming and patting each other's backs. It's doing what it needs to.

A group of word bearers cuddle pile is like a stereotypical sleepover. Talking about what daemon they'd like to possess them. Squealing over heretical scripture they've written for their primarch or one of the ruinous powers. Mapping out new tattoos of sermons on each other's skin. Face masks to prevent their tattoos from being destroyed. The blood of sacrifices painted on toenails to help with rituals. Having a seance or games of contacting the dead. Don't forget the pillow fights.

Black legion marines are angry at a pitiful defeat. They should have been better. They lost so many supplies. They only managed to pick up a random and very cold iron warrior they didn't like much. He didn't like them either, and that was fine. They start somewhat of a pile, but it doesn't feel like it should. It's not very comforting. Suddenly, the Iron Warrior is there. He says nothing as he climbs into the pile and holds marines smaller than him. A calm grows over them..

Deathguard cuddle piles are hard to spot. Is it a regular pile of nurglings? Or is there a space marine cuddle pile hiding underneath? Grandfather Nurgle loves this new aspect the marines have brought. What better way to share his gifts than being close to those you love? He holds Mortarion like a baby when he's upset.

A Drukhari is screaming to be released from this vile torture and that these mon keigh are ruthless, horrid, and crazed. This is the most cruel and terrible thing yet. The Emperor's Children just purr, content. They will not let him out of the cuddle pile. He's like a fleshy sock monkey, and he was cold!

Thousand Son sorcerers grabbing those affected by the rubric for a cuddle pile. Once in them, their affected breatheren go limp like a ragdoll or stiff like a doll. There's still a bond within those shells of armor. Most thousand sons will also not admit to still sleeping with a stuffy or toy at night. After nearly ten milennia, they have become tattered or broken. A battle brother will do instead.

You may think that now it's time for the Alpha Legion cuddle pile. You already got it. There's been at least one in each pile thus far. Yes, it was Alpharius.

Nukes aren't Dark Age tech, anyone with a decent enough understanding of physics and uranium (or plutonium) could make one.

One amusing constant inconsistency in Warhammer literature is this.

The nuke.

From the dark age if tech, the blast radius of a nuke varies from authour to authour.

I have seen them damn a world to nuclear winter.

I have seen just one level a hive city.

I have also seen just one gut an Imperial fleet.

No one can figure out how powerful of they are....

Also, for a bit of dark age tech that no one can replicate.... There is a lot of nukes out there, like a lot, I thought dark age tech was meant to be insanely rare?

Life is unfair. That's why we should be.

Why can’t real life cities be 10 mile tall gothic metropolises with red and black and skulls and statues of weeping saints everywhere

I think the Dark Angels would probably also have Watcher In The Dark plushies. They're just some little guys.

Warhammer and plushies

So I had this idea for some drawings I might do in the future, since my warhammer brainrot has come back.

I remember when I did a sleepy chibi Lion El'Jonhson, during a conversation with a friend, she said he needed a sleeping buddy, a lion knight plushie.

That got me thinking lately..

What if each loyalist legion has their own line of plushies for sale? Like merch!

Their main purpose is as imperium propaganda for kids, but i also thought it would be an interesting source of revenue for a chapter of space marines to have, as well as serving for comfort for the children of the Imperium since the 42nd Millenium isn't very nice all around.

However there are a few questions about the plushies that i have:

1) What should they be?

- Little space marines are the most obvious answer, but I find that a little too boring, though I think some space marine plushies probably already exist in canon

- Little animal buddies, based off ancient Terran animals and myths, but in space marine armor, while I like this idea, there's a problem with it, not all legions have a clear animal motif I can think of:

Dark Angels - Lions

White Scars - Horses (?)

Space Wolves - Wolves

Imperial Fists - ???

Blood Angels - ???

Iron Hands - ???

Ultramarines - Eagles (?)

Salamanders - Dragons

Raven Guard - Ravens/Corvids

2) What exactly should their design be based off?

Are they just little guys in space marine armor?

Are there different version of the plushie for different ranks?

Could the plushies each have a common trade amongst imperial citizens (like a farmer or factory worker) instructing children abt those vital roles in the functioning of the Imperium?

Or perhaps they could instruct the different jobs one might have within a space marine chapter, like apothetecary or librarian?

Maybe they each could symbolize a kind of world in the Imperium, like the Dark Angel's represents the Feudal Worlds, the Space Wolves' represent the Death Worlds, etc..?

I honestly find the last 2 ideas very interesting, but I do want to know what people think about this idea in general

Here's an image to examplify the kind of cute plushie vibe of thought these guys would have:

Thank you all for enjoying my rant about plushies and 40k ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)