MC: When I Asked You To Bring Me Something Back From The Beach, I Meant Like A Conch Shell

MC: let’s not forget that one time you literally killed me

Belphegor: how many times am i gonna have to apologize for that

MC: once would be nice

Belphegor: no

anders: hewwo! I will be youw suwgeon today! intewnal bweeding you say? let’s make ouw fiwst wittle incision

hawke: dowcto, wew’re loswing him!!

anders: quick! hand me the defibwiwatow! 

fenris: please, turn off my fucking life support

Traveler, about Scaramouche: i can fix him

Childe: yeah? well i can accept him as he is. you don’t like the murder? grow up. the atrocities are part of him and i’ve decided they’re funny.

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

Belphegor: i just got jumped

Mammon: why??? what’d you do???

Belphegor: oh i don’t know let me just go ask them. i swear you ask the dumbest fucking questions

friendship ended with all genshin characters. warming seelie is now my best friend

BAXTER DLC SPOILERS

Baxter just straight up lying throughout his dlc for absolutely no reason is so fucking funny to me. It wasn’t even Shiloh type lying, he just decided to make up fun facts for fun. he’s so me coded

Kaeya: if i was dating you, heh let’s just say broccoli wouldn’t be called broccoli anymore

Albedo: what does this mean

Albedo: kaeya i’m shaking what the fuck does this mean

no one:

Sole Survivor:

YOUR THOUGHTS?

Xiao: i know you think my judgment is clouded because i like venti a little bit

Zhongli: you doodled your wedding invitations

Xiao: that’s our joint tombstone

Zhongli: my mistake