Latest Posts by takemebacktowheniwassane - Page 10

ah, the kleinsen trope

Thinking bout friends to lovers

FUCKING PREACH IT, 

WE NEED MORE OF JARED ACTUALLY HAVING SOME DAMN EMOTIONS, THIS BITCH HAS PROBLEMS TOO AIGHT

I know that I'm supposed to look forward to or think about a lot of things concerning the DEH movie

but truthfully all I can think about is hoping that they'll make Jared an obviously also somewhat troubled teenager who's likely repressing that he's gay rather than just a one-dimensional asshole

Hey guess what my brain made an original incorrect quote again wow

Heidi: I made a mistake.

Evan: Uh, yeah... no need to rub it in.

somebody take my laptop away from me p le as e

Incorrect Quotes Are Nice

-

Jared: You really think I give a fuck? I can't even read.

-

Evan: Okay, okay. Stop asking me if I identify as gay, straight, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

-

Connor: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

-

Alana: Died, and came back as a cowboy. I call that reintarnation.

-

Jared: What doesn't kill me should run, because now i'm fucking pissed.

-

Evan: I was born for politics. I have great hair, and I love lying.

-

Zoe: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

-

Jared: Well, well, well, well... if it isn't my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

-

Alana: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship!! ....And this knife I found.

-

Jared: You'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

-

Connor: Goodnight moon, goodnight trees;

Connor: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

-

Jared: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

-

Evan: My life is as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

-

Jared: 'Person of interest' is too flattering.

Jared: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building, and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

-

Zoe: BEHOLD, The field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

-

Alana: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

-

Jared: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

-

Connor: Fool me once, i'm gonna kill you

-

Evan: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

-

Jared: People are always asking me: 'Are you a morning person, or a night person?'

Jared: And I'm just like, 'Buddy, i'm barely even a PERSON!'

-

Evan: Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

-

Zoe: With great power comes great need to take a nap.

Zoe: Wake me up later.

-

Jared: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways.

Jared: ...I’m bitches.

-

Connor: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

-

Jared: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Jared: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

-

Connor, playing a VR game: You see, that’s the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It’s PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.

Connor: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...

Connor: YoU jUsT dOn'T gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.

-

Alana, gesturing to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts, and I still can't find a boo!

-

Jared: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

-

Connor: Physically? Yeah, I could fight a bird. But, emotionally? Imagine the toll.

-

Evan: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Evan: *Punches wall*

Evan:

Evan: Take me to the hospital.

-

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Jared*

Jared: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

Ugh, yeah. I want to write but don’t want to make a completely new story for it.

Kleinsen? Kleinsen. LET’S GO DUDES

Of course. Of fucking course the final blow was going to shatter him. Why didn’t he see it coming? Why couldn’t he brace himself? Do something? It would have been at least decent if he’d shoved Evan, or something. Pushed him away, gave him a portion of that fucking guilt. He did distance himself from the teen, limiting their reactions to only professional; “Hi”s or “How are you?”s. It was so damn awkward. Who was he kidding, he didn’t want to stay mad at Evan. He wanted so bad to just cling onto him, hug him again like when they were both seven and watching horror movies under a blanket fort. He wanted him. But, no, if Evan had decided that some dead kid was worth more to him than he was, the deal was up. No more feelings. No more feelings, no more feelings, no more--

“Hi.” Jared looked up from his backpack straps. Annoyed, sleep deprived, and without a drop of caffeine in his whole damn system. He waved back. One foot in front of the other, he started to walk away. “I- um- no, Jared- I- please, come back.” “I need to get to class, sorry.” 

“Class doesn’t start for another twenty minutes..” Damnit. He had him there. “Christ. Okay, what is it, Hansen?” -- Long pause. Way too long. “I just.. need to apologize. Please. So, I’m sorry. For being a dick. I’m a fuck-up, I know, I know, trust me-- I just-- I don’t, I don’t..um.. want to lose you. Over me fucking something else up. Because that’s not worth it. I’m not worth all that--” He inhaled. The brunette felt a spike run through his heart. No. You’ve moved on. You’ve moved on, haven’t you? “I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry I asked you to help me, I’m sorry you had to pour yourself into it. I’m sorry that.. Zoe.. um.. I-i’m sorry, I’m sorry that I jumped, I just couldn’t take it, like I-I knew this was going to happen,” Fuck it. Fuck everything. So, he’s a dick. Your a dick, what of it? 

“You fucking jumped?!” He threw Evan into a hug. “Why the fuck would you do that!? Fucking moron! Jesus H. Christ, Evan, stop being such a dick-sucking, cute-faced moron, and stop fucking trying to hurt yourself! Your perfect, okay?!? So, fuck the hell off!!” 

“Cute-faced??!”

“Whatever, Acorn! Just don’t fucking ever try any of that shit ever again! And don’t make up shitty stories, just fucking trust me, okay?!” 

“Hey, I-- Jare, are you crying??”

“FUCK OFF, EVAN!!”

hhahaha it hurts to be in this fandom bye

Oh, Incorrect Quotes Generator

-

Alana: Anyone d-

Connor: Depressed?

Jared: Drained?

Evan: Dumb?

Alana: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people...

-

This one's a bit more?? Um?? Non-kid friendly TTvTT

Zoe: Guys, is having a penis fun?

Connor: It has its ups and downs.

Evan: It's gets a little hard sometimes.

Jared: IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!

Zoe: Jesus fuck, you guys.

-

Evan: You're a loose cannon, Jared.

Jared: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe. But a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Alana: I think you play by your own rules.

Zoe: No way, he thinks rules were meant to be broken.

Evan: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Jared: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Connor is the real loose cannon.

Connor: *Smashes a chair*

-

Evan, trying to convince Connor to join the group: You know... I just thought it'd be good to have someone to come along who's... strong!

Alana: And loud!

Zoe: And grumpy!

Jared: And oblivious to reality!

Connor:

-

Alana: What did you guys get in your yearbooks?

Zoe: 'Prettiest smile!' :)

Evan: 'Nicest personality!' :)

Jared: 'Most likely to start a bar fight.'

Connor: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one.'

-

Zoe: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Evan: Tubular AF!

Alana: Mood to the max!

Connor, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

Jared, just as annoyed: If she breathes she's a square.

-

Evan: You KIDNAPPED Connor?! That's illegal!!

Jared: But Evan, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Connor, or destroying our dreams?

Evan: Kidnapping Connor, Jared!!

Zoe: Evan, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these people need you to inspire them!

Evan: What, to KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Zoe: To work together!

Evan: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!?!?

Jared: Evan, I thought we both agreed, a stoner is not a people.

-

Alana: Evan, stop! This isn't you! You've gone mad with power!

Evan: Well, of course I have.

Evan: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Evan: It's boring.

-

Evan: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

Jared: What was that??

Evan: Remorse code.

Jared: I'm even angrier at you now.

-

Connor, high off his ass: I'm at least 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

Evan: But 10 times 0 is just 0.

Zoe: Then I guess the jokes on you, because he can't do math.

-

Jared: I can explain.

Evan: Can you?

Jared: If you give me 30 seconds to think of a lie.

-

Jared: If you were to vacuum up jello, it'd make a neat noise.

Evan: I beg to differ.

Jared: Then beg.

-

Jared: This is such a bad idea.

Evan: Then why are you coming along?

Jared: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this all goes terribly wrong.

-

Connor: *Accidentally hits Jared in the face*

Connor: *Can't decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry', and 'Are you okay'*

Connor: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY??

Evan: What is wrong with you?!

-

Evan: This is bothering me.

Jared: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Evan: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

-

Jared: You're the love of my life, and my best friend. I would do anything for you.

Evan: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Jared: Absolutely not.

-

Jared: I was arrested for being too cool.

Connor: The charges were dropped due to lack of supporting evidence.

-

Jared: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Evan: You and me.

Jared, tearing up: Okay.

-

Jared: God, give me patience.

Connor: I think you mean strength.

Jared: If God gave me strength, then you'd be double dead.

-

Connor: I prevented a murder today.

Alana: Really? How did you do that?

Connor: Self control.

-

Jared: I am not out of control! I am a law abiding citizen!

Evan: Name one law.

Jared: Don't kill people?

Evan: That one's on me. I set the bar too low.

-

Alana: Whaddaya call a fish with no eye?

Jared, not looking up from his phone: Myxine Circifrons.

Alana:

Alana: A fsh

-

Evan: I turned out perfectly fine!

Zoe: This morning you thought a ghost made your toast!

Evan: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN, Y O U DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN-

-

Jared: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Evan: Anything, honestly. But nerds especially.

Jared, desperately as Evan bleeds out: YOUR B L O O D TYPE

Evan: Oh! B positive.

Jared: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP, JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Evan:

-

Evan: It's dark in here...

Jared: Don't worry dude, I've got this

Jared: *Stomps his foot on the ground*

Jared: *Heelies light up*

-

Evan: Treat spiders the way YOU want to be treated!

Jared: Killed without hesitation.

Alana & Evan, simultaneously: nO-

-

Miguel: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Connor: Okay?

Miguel: And make out during the scary parts.

Connor: The-

Connor: The scary parts-

Connor: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl?

-

Evan: Can you PLEASE be serious for 5 minutes??

Jared: My record is 4, but I think I can do it.

-

Evan: So that's my plan.

Jared: Are you fine with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean.

Evan: Sure, go ahead.

Jared: It fucking sucks.

Evan: That's not constructive criticism.

-

Jared: Fuck.

Alana: We've got to work on your cursing.

Jared: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

-

Connor: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Evan: What did you do-?

Connor: A MISTAKE-

-

Larry, with his back turned: I've been expecting you.

Connor: How did you do that without turning around?

Larry: I'm gonna be honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

-

Evan: How petty can you get??

Jared: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

-

Jared: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Alana: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Jared: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

-

Jared: May I sit there?

Evan: That's my lap.

Jared: That doesn't answer my question, Evan.

-

Jared: So.. are we flirting right now?

Connor: I'm LITERALLY stabbing you.

Jared:

Jared: That does not answer the question

-

Aftermath of the last one- lmfao-

Evan: I'm begging you, please go to the hospital-

Jared: Oh, i'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

-

Jared: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Connor: Do you mean literally or figuratively?

Jared: The fact that I have to specify...

-

Evan: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.

Connor: Oh, you've been?

Evan: Once. In Monopoly.

-

Evan: Your right.

Jared: That's... an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

-

Jared: Petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday.

Connor, high: Wednesay.

Jared: Not what I had in mind, but i'm flexible.

-

Alana: Man.. I only ever see you awake. Don't you ever shut down or stop running?

Jared: Oh, i'm always running.

Jared: The question is from what.

-

Evan: Top 30 reasons why Evan is super sorry! ..Number 5 might surprise you!

Jared: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!

I KNOW, I SAW IT AND MY BRAIN JUST DID THAT THING WHERE IT FINDS THE PERFECT SCENARIO FOR SOMETHING-

Random DEH Incorrect Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Four) :

-

Jared: You know what I’ve always wondered? How do tall people like you sleep at night when the blanket can’t possibly cover you from your shoulders to your toes?

Connor: It’s fucking four a.m.

Jared: So you can’t sleep?

Jared: ….Is it because of the blanket?

-

Alana: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of items you have lost throughout your life

Evan: Self-esteem! Haven’t seen you in years!

Connor: Oh wow, childhood innocence! Can’t believe you found this!

Zoe: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Jared: Moral code, is that you?

Alana:

Alana: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mom left me but do you guys need a hug?

-

Connor: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Evan: This knife is actually my magic wand.

Zoe: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a magic wizard duel.

Jared: *Cocks gun* Magic missile.

Alana: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

-

Alana: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Zoe: Have everyone stand.

Evan: Bring three more chairs!

Jared: The most important ones can sit down.

Connor: Kill three.

-

Good For You & Words Fail Be like:

Alana: Looking left because you don’t treat me right.

Heidi: Looking right because you left.

Zoe: Looking up cause’ you let me down.

Jared: Looking down cause’ you fucked up.

Evan: What the fuck is wrong with you guys

AAA; thank YOU! 

Take your time tho, drink lots of water and don’t stay up like i did the other night because now i have eye bags <3

*Slams head on keyboard*

IT'S 2 A.M. BUT GOSHDANGIT I HAVE SO MANY DEH THINGS FLOATING AROUND MY BRAIN FOR YOUR CHALLENGE!!

Songs:

For Evan: Dead-Bird by McCafferty; Dead Weight by Jack Stauber; Maybe a bit of the ENA Remix (Allergic to People Meme); Michelle by Sir Chloe; The Anxiety Song By Human Petting Zoo

For Jared: Taking My Uzi To The Gym By The Front Bottoms; i just learned the f word By SARIAH sort of has the Jared vibe to it; Loser by Mccafferty

[I recommend listening to these if ya haven't when you get the time ^^]

Vague Plotlines (lol):

Michael tries to get a patch for Jeremy to put on his jacket for when Jeremy himself wears it but can't find one that fits perfectly and has to ask him about it.

Jared's parents are never home- too busy with their jobs (as real estate agents that travel a lot) to come home and visit him for his birthday but even after the fight Evan leaves him a present by his door.

Brooke gets really sad over the fact that she can't eat froyo so Chloe goes out and buys her every fucking flavour of ice cream that she can find that is dairy-free because fuck lactose intolerance, we can still have a nice movie night.

Connor starts randomly cutting himself while he's high in front of Jared and to stop him all Jared can do in his also extremely drugged up state of brain is kiss him

Dialogue Prompts:

"I've moved on, and you should too." ~ Kleinsen

"Move over, this bathtubs only got so much room in it." ~ Boyf riends

"Tell me everything." ~ Conguel (Connor x Miguel)

"Nice ass, tall-ass!" ~ Spicy Bis

"Your not the loser, the geek, or whatever." ~ Deere

"I'm watching you. You better not fall out of any more fucking trees." ~ Kleinsen (again. lol, sorry-)

"Stop ignoring me and stop hurting yourself!!" ~ Kleinphy

Just a few things I thought of off the top of my head, I'll send in more if I think of any <3

OH MY GOD????

These are a LOT (/pos) THANK YOUUUUUUU

also never apologize for sending a lot of kleinsen it's like, my biggest comfort ever??? I'll just tag this with something so I can find it!

I'll dm you when your fic(s, depends on how motivated I'll be) is ready!!

Ty!

OH NO NOT FUCKING JARED- 

Random Incorrect DEH Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Three) :

-

Alana: Going to plan B, then?

Jared: Technically, this would be plan G.

Zoe: How many plans even are there?? Is there, like, a plan M???

Evan: Yeah, but Jared dies in plan M.

Connor: I like plan M.

-

Connor: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Zoe: “Rude.”

Jared: “Not again.”

Evan: “Are you going to want this back?”

-

Dr. Sherman: This assignment is fairly easy! Just write about your happiest moments!

Evan: My what now

-

And now

KLEINSEN

Jared: Hey there, Acorn.

Evan: Not this again. That joke is so old.

Jared: What? Are you NUTS? That joke will never get old!

Evan: It just did.

Jared: Aw, did I cashew in a bad mood?

Evan: I’m actually wishing death on someone other than myself for once. Oh, Wow.

-

Zoe: I don’t understand why you get so upset when I go on dates with Evan.

Jared, a secret homosexual: Because he’s my best friend! Ugh, you don’t get it!

-

Evan: I like both boys and girls, and yet I’m still single.

Connor: I guess your just destined to be bi-yourself.

-

Connor: Rules were meant to be broken.

Alana: They were meant to be followed. Nothing is meant to be broken.

Zoe: Uh, piñatas?

Evan: Glow sticks.

Miguel: Karate boards?

Jared: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Connor: Rules.

-

Connor: I like my boys like I like my girls.

Zoe:

Alana:

Evan:

Jared:

Miguel:

Connor: That’s it.

Connor: That’s the joke.

Connor: I’m bi.

-

Heidi: You’re grounded, no TV!

Evan: The TV is broken-

Heidi: Then, no computer!

Evan: But I need the computer for therapy notes-

Heidi, looking around the room for something she can take away: Then, uh, no Jared!

Evan: No Jared??!

Heidi: No Jared!!

Incorrect Total Drama

Cody: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Gwen: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Noah: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Harold: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Courtney: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

-

Beth: What if the person who made Walkie Talkies named everything?

Lindsay: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Cody: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Harold: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Duncan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Gwen: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Justin: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Noah, annoyed: You are all disappointments.

-

Chef: Nothing in life is free.

Sierra: Love is free!!

Owen: Adventure is free!

Noah: Knowledge is free.

Duncan: Anything is free if you take it without paying.

-

Courtney: Are we really going to let Sierra keep Cody?

Gwen: We kept Duncan.

-

Sierra: Bye, Courtney! Bye, Gwen! Bye Cody! Bye Duncan! Bye Noah! Bye Cody!

Gwen: You said bye to Cody twice.

Sierra: I like Cody.

-

Gwen: Goodmorning.

Cody: Goodmorning.

Justin: Goodmorning.

Izzy: You all sound like robots! Try spicing it up a little bit!

Noah: Morning motherfuckers.

-

Eva: So my question is, my girlfriend keeps going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of uncooked fettuccine-

DJ: I would hope that their not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Courtney: In the pantry!

Eva: She keeps eating them raw and calling them chips, how do I make her stop.

DJ: Is your girlfriend here?

Eva, motioning to Izzy: Yeah.

Courtney: You're a MONSTER! Words MEAN things! >:(

Cody: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they do have, like, a fettuccine bottle that you can just grab out of- and chew-

Cody: NO, WAIT WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE USED TO GO TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS??

Cody: NO, STOP, EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE IN THE LOBBY AT OLIVE GARDEN-

Noah, walking past this insanity: No.

Cody, turning to DJ and Courtney: YOU FUCKIN' BASTARDS

DJ, trying to ignore that: YAYYYYY

Courtney, about Olive Garden: THE ~PRESTIGE~

-

Gwen: Favourite horror movie?

Duncan: IT.

Izzy: Saw!

Courtney: Annabelle.

Noah: High school Musical. After I watched it, I spent the rest of my middle school years thinking everyone would break out in song, and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics.

-

Courtney: You really came all this way to see me? How did you even get here so fast?

Duncan: Several traffic violations.

Cody: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Noah: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Gwen: Also, that isn't our car.

-

Harold: What's something you guys are better than Cody at?

Noah: Mario Kart.

Cody: Yeah. He beats me at video games a lot.

Owen: Emotional vulnerability.

-

We need more dark Noah moments.

Sierra: What does 'take out' mean?

Owen: Food.

Cody: Dating.

Noah: Murder.

Duncan: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOUR NOT A COWARD.

-

Cody: Why isn't that statue smirking at me?

Noah: It isn't smirking at anyone, their all just imagining it.

Cody: Three of them saw it, Noah, how do you explain that?

Noah: *Points at Gwen* Sleep deprivation. *Points at Trent* Paranoia. *Points at Duncan* Delusional personality disorder.

-

Courtney: Where are Trent and Gwen?

Duncan: Their off playing hide and seek.

Courtney: Where?

Duncan: I don't think you understand how this game works.

-

Chris: I am an idiot.

Lindsay:

Heather:

Courtney:

Duncan:

Cody:

Chef:

Beth:

Noah: If your waiting for us to disagree, it's going to be a long day.

Random DEH Incorrect Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Four) :

-

Jared: You know what I've always wondered? How do tall people like you sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you from your shoulders to your toes?

Connor: It's fucking four a.m.

Jared: So you can't sleep?

Jared: ....Is it because of the blanket?

-

Alana: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of items you have lost throughout your life

Evan: Self-esteem! Haven't seen you in years!

Connor: Oh wow, childhood innocence! Can't believe you found this!

Zoe: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Jared: Moral code, is that you?

Alana:

Alana: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mom left me but do you guys need a hug?

-

Connor: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Evan: This knife is actually my magic wand.

Zoe: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a magic wizard duel.

Jared: *Cocks gun* Magic missile.

Alana: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

-

Alana: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Zoe: Have everyone stand.

Evan: Bring three more chairs!

Jared: The most important ones can sit down.

Connor: Kill three.

-

Good For You & Words Fail Be like:

Alana: Looking left because you don't treat me right.

Heidi: Looking right because you left.

Zoe: Looking up cause' you let me down.

Jared: Looking down cause' you fucked up.

Evan: What the fuck is wrong with you guys

Random Incorrect DEH Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Three) :

-

Alana: Going to plan B, then?

Jared: Technically, this would be plan G.

Zoe: How many plans even are there?? Is there, like, a plan M???

Evan: Yeah, but Jared dies in plan M.

Connor: I like plan M.

-

Connor: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Zoe: "Rude."

Jared: "Not again."

Evan: "Are you going to want this back?"

-

Dr. Sherman: This assignment is fairly easy! Just write about your happiest moments!

Evan: My what now

-

And now

KLEINSEN

Jared: Hey there, Acorn.

Evan: Not this again. That joke is so old.

Jared: What? Are you NUTS? That joke will never get old!

Evan: It just did.

Jared: Aw, did I cashew in a bad mood?

Evan: I'm actually wishing death on someone other than myself for once. Oh, Wow.

-

Zoe: I don't understand why you get so upset when I go on dates with Evan.

Jared, a secret homosexual: Because he's my best friend! Ugh, you don't get it!

-

Evan: I like both boys and girls, and yet I'm still single.

Connor: I guess your just destined to be bi-yourself.

-

Connor: Rules were meant to be broken.

Alana: They were meant to be followed. Nothing is meant to be broken.

Zoe: Uh, piñatas?

Evan: Glow sticks.

Miguel: Karate boards?

Jared: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Connor: Rules.

-

Connor: I like my boys like I like my girls.

Zoe:

Alana:

Evan:

Jared:

Miguel:

Connor: That's it.

Connor: That's the joke.

Connor: I'm bi.

-

Heidi: You're grounded, no TV!

Evan: The TV is broken-

Heidi: Then, no computer!

Evan: But I need the computer for therapy notes-

Heidi, looking around the room for something she can take away: Then, uh, no Jared!

Evan: No Jared??!

Heidi: No Jared!!

Random Incorrect DEH Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. Two) :

-

Evan: The human body is %70 water, so we are basically just all cucumbers with anxiety.

Jared: Excuse you, but with the amount of salt and alcohol that I consume daily, I think it's more accurate to say that i'm an anxiety pickle.

-

Evan: You often use humour to deflect trauma.

Jared: Thank you!

Evan: I- never said that was a good thing..

Jared: What i'm hearing is that you think i'm funny.

-

Jared: I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you, Evan, are a fucking cactus.

-

Jared: I will FIGHT the next person to insult Connor.

Connor: Bitch why, i'm a piece of shit

Jared: ALRIGHT SQUARE UP YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD-

-

Connor, walking in: Sorry I was late, I was doing... stuff.

Jared, slamming open the door and looking noticeably disheveled: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING S T A I R S-

-

Jared: 4/20 is in 14 days, and I want you all to know that I will not tolerate any weed jokes. Not on my good, christian blog.

Connor: But your Jewish-

Jared: Not when it comes to the devil's lettuce, you heathen stoner fuck-

-

Death: I've come to kill you.

Evan: Let me ask Jared.

Death: It isn't a choi-

Evan: He said no.

Random Incorrect DEH Quotes I Found While Poking Around (Pt. One) :

-

Jared: Yo, I heard that 1 in every 4 people is gay. That means someone in this friend group is gay.

Connor: Who do you think it is?

Jared: I don't know, but I really hope it's Evan. Evan's kinda hot.

Alana: Uh, Ja-

Connor: No, let him figure it out for himself.

-

Connor, walking into the room with a red solo cup: Did you know that Gatorade and Champagne are actually really good together?

Jared: Are you doing depressed science again?

Connor: When the fuck am I not?

-

Evan: You need to accept that sarcasm will get you nowhere in life.

Jared: But it got me into the Sarcasm World Championship in Nicaragua three years ago.

Evan: Really??

Jared: No, idiot.

-

Evan: I would never say that, in a million years, that my boyfriend is a bitch and I don't like him. That is not true. My boyfriend is a bitch, and I like him so much. He is a dynamite, five-eight, Jewish bitch and he's the best. He and I have totally different styles. When Jared walks down the street, he does not give a shit what anybody thinks of him, in any situation. He's literally my hero. When I walk down the street, I need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. It's exhausting. Jared once said that walking around with me is like walking around with someone who's running for mayor of nothing.

I just thought of this, why-

Sally Face: Hey, is your name short for anything? Just asking.

Travis: Well, my father calls me a travesty.

Skidaddle skidoodle i'm crying aggressively in an empty bathtub at 10 p.m.

Sally Face Brainrot

Everyone's reactions to figuring out Travis has no utter idea what Sanitys Fall is

Larry: YOUR KIDDING RIGHT??

Travis: I-- no???

Larry: HERE TAKE THIS MP3 PLAYER AND HEADPHONES AND THESE 17 DIFFERENT CDS AND-

~

Sal: Really? :0

Travis: Uh.. well Larry gave me a bunch of shit to listen to later, so.

Sal: Their baller, man. Can't believe you didn't know bout' them til' now.

Travis: :)

~

Ashley: Honestly man I haven't even listened to that band

Travis: haha

~

Todd: It's all screaming, your little choir boy ears won't be able to handle it.

Travis, rolling his eyes: Gee, thanks brainiac.

~

Neil: I think Sally showed me them before. Their pretty cool, good for you, bud.

Travis: *Thumbs up*

~

Kenneth: That isn't very christian music, Travis

Travis, getting ready to jump out a window: Y E P -

~

Mrs. Phelps: Did your father approve?

Travis, holding his most likely broken nose: so the thing about that is-

look at me being a productive bitch and asking for questions  0-0

HEYO ANNOUNCEMENT~

I LIKE OVER THE GARDEN WALL & DEAR EVAN HANSEN AND NEED TO GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS SO HONESTLY JUST GIVE ME ANYTHING ABOUT THAT OR JUST RANDOM SHIT AND I'LL ANSWER AT SOME POINT

So this has been drifting about in my head since i got home today

[Mimura, not wanting to be dragged to another art museum]: Come on man, can't we just, like, stay home?

[Sugaya, staring him dead in the eyes]: I would drag you there but they said not to touch the masterpieces.

. . .

Mimura: FINE I'LL GO.

i've been thinking about this all day and this is what my brain comes up with :)

hahaha :'))