Ain't Messing With Chance

rt for 10 years of good luck

Human!Tavros: Imitating Life

Tavros: Today, I stopped being real. No one's gonna listen to a boy genius, or a philosopher, or a traveler.

Tavros: All the things I've been? Who ever really gave a shit?

Tavros: People like listening to characters; characters are safe because they're not real. So today, I become a character

___

Tavros: *Puts a cigarette in his mouth* I meet new people, and it's always the same.

Tavros: "Tell us about your childhood." *Strikes a match and inhales*

Tavros: I was born in a vat, and emerged at age 12 looking like this.

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Tavros: I once new about a neighbor who took too much acid. He saw the white light... *Takes a drag from his cigarette*

Tavros: Then he hacked off his own genitals for Jesus

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Tavros: My grandfather had died, and my mother was trying to explain it to me.

Tavros: "Grandpa isn't coming back?" I asked. "No..." She said. "Not ever again..."

Tavros: *Scoffs* I remember looking at her and saying: "Hold on just a fucking minute. You mean to tell me you went through all the trouble of conceiving me, giving birth to me, feeding and clothing me, and I get hurt, disappointments crush my heart every day, and I can't do half the things I want to, and sometimes I just want to SCREAM! And all I have to look forward to is my body breaking down. And something flipping the switch in my brain."

Tavros: I wasn't having any of that. *Steps on his cigarette* It wasn't fair...

___

Meenah: *Knocks on Tavros' door* Hey, you in there?

The door slowly opens, and a cloud of smoke pours out. Tavros emerges from within, his face is the only thing visible under a Mexican tiger blanket. His gaze is distant, even though they're standing almost in front of each other, and he has a dopey smile on his face.

Meenah: Uhh... everyone's downstairs. Do you wanna come for a drink?

Tavros: Nahhh... I'm writing... I'm having breakthroughs...

The door slowly, and gently closes. Tavros' hand wasn't near the door.

___

Tavros: *Talking to Rose* It just comes down to a very simple equation, to me at least.

Tavros: Life plus significance, equals magic.

___

Tavros: Alright! I'm drunk, and in about half an hour I'm going to come up on drugs.

___

Tavros: *To Nepeta* It's okay to mess up. When you do, you find new ways to do things.

Tavros: And, nobody sees the world like you do. So let's see what you see

Human!Tavros: Nepeta

Tavros: *7 years old* She's my friend

Nepeta: *Clinging to him with a smile*

________

*Tavros and Nepeta cuddling on a couch*

Tavros: *13 years old* We're not dating!

Nepeta: Why does everyone keep thinking that?

_________

Karkat: *16 years old* HEY LOVEBIRDS, RISE AND FUCKING SHI- *Opens Tavros' room door and freezes*

*Tavros and Nepeta are completely naked*

Nepeta: ...Uh-...

Tavros: ....I'm sure there's a reasonable explination for this... I just can't think of it...

Human!Tavros: Detroit

Lord English: And as for you; did you really believe you, out of all that had faced me, could defeat ME?!

Tavros: You can't scare me, you one eyed, peg legged, vomit skin!!

Lord English: *Grins* Take him to Detroit!

Tavros: NO! NOT DETROIT!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! PLEASE NOT DETROIT!!!

Gen Z, My Generation

From 1996 to 2010 is where our generation was born. In these years, all I've seen us do is become a dissapointment. I hate being in this generation, because it is fucked. We are all fucked.

Generation X should've destroyed the world when it had the chance. Now they're going to witness the begining of the end. Let's go Generation Z, we're not done ruining everything YET

John: What's an average sac weight?

Tavros: You what?

Alright

Can you all stop trying to pair "Boys will be boys" to rapists?

Boys will be boys means lovable goofballs.

If the phrase offends you though because it's not PC, fuck you.

Human!Tavros: Drunk Jake English

Jake: *Stumbles up to Tavros with a Ziploc bag with red liquid inside*

Tavros: Uhh...?

Jake: *Shoves the bag in his hands* I MADE THIS FOR YOU! IT USED TO BE A BABY!

Tavros: *Tavros.exe has stopped working*

Yes

Yes