Human!Tavros: Drunk Jake English

rt for 10 years of good luck

Human!Tavros: Imitating Life

Tavros: Today, I stopped being real. No one's gonna listen to a boy genius, or a philosopher, or a traveler.

Tavros: All the things I've been? Who ever really gave a shit?

Tavros: People like listening to characters; characters are safe because they're not real. So today, I become a character

___

Tavros: *Puts a cigarette in his mouth* I meet new people, and it's always the same.

Tavros: "Tell us about your childhood." *Strikes a match and inhales*

Tavros: I was born in a vat, and emerged at age 12 looking like this.

____

Tavros: I once new about a neighbor who took too much acid. He saw the white light... *Takes a drag from his cigarette*

Tavros: Then he hacked off his own genitals for Jesus

____

Tavros: My grandfather had died, and my mother was trying to explain it to me.

Tavros: "Grandpa isn't coming back?" I asked. "No..." She said. "Not ever again..."

Tavros: *Scoffs* I remember looking at her and saying: "Hold on just a fucking minute. You mean to tell me you went through all the trouble of conceiving me, giving birth to me, feeding and clothing me, and I get hurt, disappointments crush my heart every day, and I can't do half the things I want to, and sometimes I just want to SCREAM! And all I have to look forward to is my body breaking down. And something flipping the switch in my brain."

Tavros: I wasn't having any of that. *Steps on his cigarette* It wasn't fair...

___

Meenah: *Knocks on Tavros' door* Hey, you in there?

The door slowly opens, and a cloud of smoke pours out. Tavros emerges from within, his face is the only thing visible under a Mexican tiger blanket. His gaze is distant, even though they're standing almost in front of each other, and he has a dopey smile on his face.

Meenah: Uhh... everyone's downstairs. Do you wanna come for a drink?

Tavros: Nahhh... I'm writing... I'm having breakthroughs...

The door slowly, and gently closes. Tavros' hand wasn't near the door.

___

Tavros: *Talking to Rose* It just comes down to a very simple equation, to me at least.

Tavros: Life plus significance, equals magic.

___

Tavros: Alright! I'm drunk, and in about half an hour I'm going to come up on drugs.

___

Tavros: *To Nepeta* It's okay to mess up. When you do, you find new ways to do things.

Tavros: And, nobody sees the world like you do. So let's see what you see

Human!Tavros is sick of everyone's shit

Tavros: *Opens door as trick or treaters greet him* Oh hey! Fat Albert!

Kid: I'm not wearing a costume!

Tavros: Then you don't get any fucken candy!

-

Equius: I demand to see Nepeta

Tavros: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

-

Karkat: I thought you were gonna be happy today.

Tavros: NEVER assume that!

-

Tavros: Dinners ready

John: What are we having?

Tavros: Free food, dumbass

-

Tavros: I don't need a fucking bible, you asshole! I was hit by a truck when I was six! I'VE MET GOD!!

Bananana

I am benign to this. But it also infuriates me beyond belief

Human!Tavros on Everyone

Tavros: I hate all of you.

Nepeta: *Walks by* Hi Tavros!

Tavros: ...I hate MOST of you

I summon the Luck O' The Irish to screw tesla over

Abolish Tesla.

Yes

:D

reblog if you think female rapists should get the same amount of jail time as male rapists