You Don't Have To Force Yourself To Bounce Back So Quickly. I Read Something Recently That Said "when

Michelle C.

holding yourself accountable and tearing yourself down are two different things

merry christmas to the people who have to pretend to be someone they’re not for their families, who don’t have family to celebrate with, who have bad past experiences with the holiday, who are having a rough year and just want to reach the end of it, who couldn’t afford gifts this year and feel guilt over it. merry christmas to everyone but especially those of you who are feeling down.

Maturity is not seeking revenge. It's healing and moving on, so you don’t become like the people who traumatized you.

Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

AIMEE WAI

Connecting the dots between generational trauma. There were some things my dad didn’t know that I knew about what led to complex family dynamics and emotions I didn’t understand until I was in my early 20s. One of my uncles shared the history not long before he unexpectedly passed.

Dad’s dad made a choice (well, several choices) that leaves a forever impression on any kid that learns a parent was dishonest and that’s why there are now two separate households and holidays. This might explain why my dad struggled to navigate fatherhood, on top of only being 18. It was a few years from my parents’ divorce before he decided to give it a real try. I’ll never know exactly what my great-grandma said to him to change his mind about signing away his parental rights.

He didn’t know what he didn’t know. Some family members have found that hard to believe, but I think their experience clouds their understanding and nothing now could change that. It’s unknowable to them and I’m not responsible for trying to make them understand.

I forgive him.