𝓜𝔂 4𝓷4 𝓻𝓾𝓵𝓮𝓼 ⊹ ࣪ ˖

i binged on taco bell. i didnt eat it all but i had at least 900c@ls. my body isnt used to heavy restricting anymore, so i need to be easier on myself. and stick to the healthy foods, especially if i feel like binging. not gonna beat myself up even though i feel horrible. i feel like a failure. i’ll try again tomorrow.

i hate that im relapsing. i wont tell anyone, not even my girlfriend. i hate that i fought so hard to defeat this disorder before, gaining 30 pounds in less than a year, all to go right back to my destructive habits. but i cant stop. i cant fit in my clothes, im taking up more space, and i wish i liked myself enough now to stay like this. but i hate myself.

i dont see ugly in anyone unless i know theyre a bad person. maybe i think im a bad person. i do, sometimes. i wish i wasnt so angry and temperamental. i wish i didnt struggle to do everyday things. i wish i was BETTER.

i guess i thought gaining weight would help but apparently that wasnt it. and now im beating myself up all over again. now i feel like ive gone too far, and now im in too deep.

i wish i was stronger…

Hii! I used to be @manimfucked but I got t-worded. Trying to find my moots back

ED and SH tumblr reblog this pleasee

i WILL be thinner than this. this was 2020

✨My Glow Up tips part 1✨

Drink a lot of water it benefits your body in every way bonus points if you add lemon. If you crave soda Olipop is a good alternative.

Eat little meals made with whole foods throughout the day it really does make a difference.

Go on hot girl walks get fresh air and sunshine every day.

Drink green juices and smoothies it’s the easiest way to get in all your fruits and veggies plus you can add supplements.

Skincare is self care it’s literally the canvas for your makeup so invest in your products. Keep it simple and be consistent with your routine.

Learn to read food labels ideally you want to know how to pronounce every ingredient.

Drink less alcohol bloating and hangovers aren’t hot.

Educate yourself on vitamins and supplements to target what you want to improve. For immune system you want vitamin c and zinc and for beauty you want a collagen supplement.

Lip filler research your provider make sure you vibe with them and feel comfortable. Start slow and gradually build to your desired shape and size.

Contacts over glasses is my personal preference.

Choose a signature scent for every season.

Keratin hair treatments they make styling so easy and your hair looks shiny and perfect for weeks.

Natural nail colors are the most flattering. OPI and Essie make the best nudes.

Invest in classic basics for your closet black and white t-shirts denim and shoes. Think about cost per wear quality vs quantity ect. Zara is my favorite store for inexpensive trendy pieces.

Wear signature jewelry mine are gold hoops diamond studs and dainty necklaces. Mejuri is my favorite jeweler.

Cleaning and organizing your home is therapy. Light a Fall candle and deep clean your space once a week and you will feel refreshed.

Exfoliate your face and body a few times a week

Ice roll and gua sha your face it instantly de puffs and lifts.

Plant medicine personally I love cannabis and it’s been a positive life changing medicine for me.

Therapy I believe everyone can benefit from it.

Never stop learning read often about whatever topics you’re interested in.

For improved hair skin and nails put collagen powder in your coffee or smoothies every day.

Put fresh eucalyptus and lavender in your shower or a few drops of essential oils for the best most relaxing bath.

Brush and floss often and occasionally use Crest white strips for whitening your teeth.

Journaling is so important on paper or even in your notes app on your phone.

Learn manifesting techniques your mindset is everything.

Get a professional bra fitting and match your lingerie it will make you feel confident and hot.

Distractions

* Go on a walk

* Search for health/nutrition info on the net

* Turn up the music and dance

* Clean your house until everything looks untouched

* Read a book or magazine

* Find out about finances and investing

* Find out enough about a national issue to form a strong opinion

* Do that that you were meaning to do for so long

* Rent and follow a yoga or pilates video

* Express yourself creatively

* Wander and browse trough the library

* Read about the toxins and food that build up in the digestive system

* Start writing in a journal about things besides calories

* Make your own, original, unique website

* Have a movie fest

* Volunteer somewhere

* Get a job

* Master your self description

* Play with your pet, they’ll love you!

* Call your grandparents

* Go to howstuffworks.com and find out!

* Exfoliate your entire body

* Think about your life goals and how you’ll reach them

* Make someone a bracelet or neckless

* Read the newspaper, every word of it!

* Stop procrastinating

* look at Th1nsp0 or me4nsp0

god i miss being this thin. this was me in 2020.