I’m??? In Tears??? How Dare U This Is So Cute.

alright, I was originally gonna make this as a comic but I’m really busy so I can’t manage that. I swear, this is my last anti-fujoshi post and then we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled inane nonsense.

firstly, I’ve seen a lot of people saying that they dislike the term ‘fujoshi’ to describe these people because of its misogynistic origins. I find this to be reasonable, so I will be referring to them as maiali pervertiti instead. It’s Italian! Hope y’all like it xx That out of the way, let’s begin.

I have put real, genuine, actual research into this. I scoured maiali pervertiti blogs to find their arguments, their mindsets, their justifications. As far as I could find, there are four main arguments. These being the following: ‘It’s just fiction, not reality’, ‘Hating us is misogynistic’ ‘hating us is transphobic/homophobic’ and ‘hating us is racist’. I will be unpacking each of these, looking at them from both perspectives, and explaining why exactly they’re flawed perspectives. Hopefully, a properly researched and informed take on this will help to clear the waters.

Let’s start with the first take. The ever-quoted ‘it’s just fiction, not reality’. This is an argument you’ll find in a lot of places, mostly in any place which is in support of questionable things being treated as erotic. Pro ships and pro-shippers also love to tote this. Now, on its surface this argument seems logical. However it starts to fall apart when you think about it critically. When we consider how the brain works, you’ll see what I mean. To be concise, the human mind slowly accepts things the more it’s exposed to justifications for them, regardless of how reasonable those justifications are. It associates a bad thing with ‘but nevermind, it’s fine’ and you stop feeling shame or regret over time. This is why you’ll often see lolicons say downright atrocious things about child characters- they’ve justified it for so long that they don’t see a problem with it.

Now, on the ‘it doesn’t affect reality’ claim, let’s look at other groups for this. Think about how many studies have been done saying that men who watch rape porn are more likely to become rapists. Think of all the people raised on the ‘I can fix him’ mentality on tv growing up to get in bad relationships or romanticise abuse under the idea that they can make an abuser better by loving him. It’s no secret of society that, actually, fiction does affect reality. The most concise, albeit silly way I’ve heard it put was ‘But you’re still jacking off to it. It’s affecting your dick and balls’. And I think that sums it up.

Next, let’s look at the ‘If you hate us you’re misogynistic’ claim. The mentality behind this claim is that women in Japan were referred to as ‘rotten girl’ for liking yaoi and bl, and to continue that rhetoric of not liking them is the continuation of misogyny. Again, this is a take that seems logical right up until you pick it apart. First we have to understand that the reason these men were calling these women rotten was because they disapproved of them exploring their sexuality and reading erotic content at all. They don’t hate women for reading gay porn, they hate women for reading porn period. The gay people criticising maiali pervertiti on tumblr aren’t hating them for the same reason. We don’t hate you for reading porn, read all the porn you’d like, we just want you to stop fetishising us. The difference is in the context; the men who were shaming Japanese women were shaming them for exploring their sexualities, were shaming you for treating an entire minority of people like they’re a porn category and for spreading gross, abusive content of mlm because you think it’s hot. It’s also important to note that Japanese women mostly started reading yaoi and bl because of the culture toward female sexuality in Japan. They couldn’t read erotica of straight couples, or they’d be seen as perverts. They couldn’t read wlw erotica, or they’d be seen as lesbians and shamed. Their only option for exploring their sexuality became mlm erotica. You, Lindsey from California, do not share this same issue.

Next we have the ever-irritating ‘If you hate us, you’re a transphobe’ argument.

*deep, deep sigh*

stay with me, fellow trans achillians. We can get through this. This argument is based in the idea that transmascs, specifically mlm transmascs, might read yaoi to explore their genders through sexual content. Unfortunately, exploring your gender through erotica and having a fetish are two different things. I personally did explore my gender through gay sexual content. Mostly fanfiction and mental fantasy, but with the odd fanart or comic sprinkled in there for flavour. The difference is that I never had a fetish for it. Most maiali pervertiti seem to argue with a very subtle straw man by implying that reading mlm content is the same as reading the gross rape porn yaoi that ‘fujoshi’ spaces are steeped in. This is not the case- there is a clear divide. I personally consumed actual, healthy content of gay sex. To go further with this argument, I actually think it’s actively harmful to perpetuate the idea that young trans people struggling with their gender should be exploring it through the things that are spread in fujoshi spaces. I’ve read some pf this stuff mostly by accident or against my will and that shit should not be associated in a young trans person’s mind with their gender. It isn’t safe.

Next we have ‘it’s homophobic to hate us’ which is definitely. A take. The rhetoric here is that by hating on the fetishisation consumption of yaoi, you’re really just hating gay men.

this is just… can I drop the nuance voice here? It’s bullshit. It’s gross bullshit. Gross, steaming, cowpat bullshit. Okay, nuance voice back up, let’s explore. maiali pervertiti, please understand that it’s mostly gay people who don’t like you. This is, again, a straw man argument. They’re trying to yell homophobia so they can ignore the real criticisms. The problem isn’t the homosexuality, my dear sweet perverted little fucking weirdos, it’s the rape porn and incest and abuse. Just read normal fucking mlm content I’m begging you.

Finally, we have the ‘it’s racist to hate us’ argument. This is an example of what I like to call ‘the firemen diversion’. This name comes from an example where a person might take the statistic of their being higher fatality risk the more firemen walk into a burning building, and then using it as an argument to suggest that it’s dangerous to call the fire brigade if there’s a fire. There’s a tiny nugget of reasonable argument in there, but it’s backing up a complete and utter bullshit lie.

This is basically what this argument is. The idea here is that the term ‘fujoshi’ was originally a reclaimed slur, and that westerners are changing it to degrade women again and are therefore misunderstanding the actual language behind it.

Now, this is based in a little bit of truth. Westerners do, in all fairness, misunderstand the term. I can’t speak for the reclamation of the slur, considering how I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that the way it’s used has been quite incorrect a lot of the time. That’s the true bit. The rest of the argument, however, is nonsensical. While yes, some people misunderstand the word ‘fujoshi’, it doesn’t mean that the criticism of the culture (especially the culture in the western world) is racist. Please, don’t cry racism when you see people asking not to be fetishised. You will end up making the actual movement against anti-Asian hate crimes (which have increased in recent years, need I remind you) look less credible. Once again, I am asking allies to shut the fuck up talking for the minorities they claim to represent while being batshit insane x

TL;DR: no, it is not misogynistic, racist, transphobic or homophobic when gay people tell you to stop fetishising us. Stop arguing straw men and just take accountability.

Also, maiali pervertiti are the female equivalent of straight men who watch lesbian porn. But somehow worse. That’s all, have a good day.

Important calculations underway

there are few things that bring together jaded thirty-somethings and eighteen year olds high on caffeine and lean, but I think the one (1) thing that does is 30/90 by Andrew Garfield. Like

36 year old man with a mortgage who gets an uncomfortable feeling of dread in the back of his throat when he sees how the things he loved as a kid are now relics of a dead past: Gettin’ older sucks, huh?

18 year old kid, shaking from adrenaline high and terror, watching as the blue ‘one’ and ‘eight’ candles on their cake burn down to piles of wax because blowing them out will make it Real, and they’re suddenly on the verge of tears because they’ll never be small enough to cry on their mother’s lap again and they can’t play in the mud anymore and they’re being thrown into something grey and void of rest, knowing that the years that they can spend getting drunk and spraying graffiti on buildings (already a failed attempt at prolonging youth) are running out like grains of sand in a relentless hourglass: Yeah :(

Hey ask me about the inherent heteronormativity of top/bottom discourse in fandom

the kids aren’t okay

idk why there’s so much porn in the Banana Fish tag but it feels like the world is writing a poem for me and it’s gonna put me in the ground

Haiku bot baby I would die for you

over christmas when i came out fully to my mom she did tell me i was beautiful and gave me some of her old jewelry and told me she was excited to have another daughter and that was all wonderful, but the part that meant the most to me was when i told her "i want to get my facial hair taken care of sooner than later, the whole "girl" thing is a lot easier to swallow when im shaved" and she examined my use of the phrase "it's a lot easier to swallow" and said "Scout, I didn't have a good relationship with my mother. you know that." (i did know that, my grandma was NOT good to my mother) "but your grandma kim [friend of my grandma's, unrelated by blood in any way, but was adopted as a grandma through familial osmosis] was the greatest woman who's ever been in my life. and up until the day she died, she had a beard and a moustache [which is true, my grandma kim, a cis woman, had VERY thick facial hair]. if you kept your facial hair for the rest of your life i wouldnt think of you as less of a woman" and ya know what? THAT'S the part of her support that made me cry.

my grandma kim was an amazing woman and she had peach fuzz that she didnt give a FUCK about. and everyone loved her.

you can have your own fuzz too, and that doesn't make you not a woman.

I need everyone to understand that any time I ship a m/f couple it is in an unmistakably queer way. Never once have I shipped a heterosexual m/f pairing, you understand.

arguing with Facebook dudes while being in the closet is so funny

Being trans is so fucking funny cause my sister will be like “Ugh I wish I had a dick it probably feels crazy” and I have to be careful not to agree too hard or she’ll look at me like this