Haiku Bot Baby I Would Die For You

I don’t care what the new, uncensored versions say. Hua Cheng being a rough bully dom top in bed is too heteronormative for me to ignore how it makes no sense for his character, sorry.

new batch of xie lian memes but theyre just really sad and existential this time hahaa

fucking. Take my reblog you beautiful fuck. How does it feel to be right about everything.

Sometimes I see people complaining about Ash and Eiji, saying how they are the definition of queerbait just because they don't do what you would normally expect a mlm couple to do

The thing about mlm ships is that they're too sexualised

You usually know the endgame when you see two boys having unexplainable sexual tension and it doesn't even take long to get them there, usualy by third chapter

Now, there are some good anime that potray healthy and normal mlm relationships, but people now mostly just read BL manhwa where relationships are mostly toxic or done for fanservice

And then fans like that decide to watch Banana Fish because someone told them they have a cute relationship (they usually ignore TWs but whatever) and decide to shit over them because they didn't even have a proper kiss like???

Do they need to fuck on screen to prove their love

Sometimes we forget that most of BL boys are young and sure, boys IRL do think about sex a lot but they also have feelings and want to love which most media doesn't show

Ash had trauma that could have been healed (maybe not comepletely, but enough to at least try and live a normal life) if he decided to live, but he didn't, and we can't just know what he would've done with Eiji if he went to Japan

Eiji is sweet and shy, we don't see much from his perspective, and we also don't really know much about him and why he was interested in Ash from the very beginning, you could describe it him being mysterious or it's just author's laziness lol (motives might be better explained in the manga where Eiji is a little more realistic to real boys)

And then you see those two just enjoying each other's presence and say YEAH THATS QUEERBAIT

???

When did it become unusual for two people to just enjoy having each other, it's not like you and your partner have this akward sexual tension moment every single second of your time lmao.

the sound I made is one that can’t actually come out of a human mouth I think

by far the funniest explanation for Xie Lian not realizing all those boys/men in his life with dark hair and an eyepatch have been the same guy is that repeated exposure to Hua Cheng has caused him to believe that eyepatches on men are way more common than they actually are. "average person is highly likely to wear an eyepatch" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person wears 0 eyepatches. Eyepatches Georg, who sculpts in a cave & wears an eyepatch for 800 years, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

fucking.

the hardest lines ALWAYS come from ao3 fanfics and I stand by this

Mostly thanks to @emilyelizabethfowl (their reblog contains many of the fic links!! thank u sm) and a few deep dives into my ao3 history, the sources of the quotes have mostly all been recovered! I apologise for not posting them all with proper credit originally, I truly didn't think the post would blow up so much, but the lesson is very much learned :) enjoy!

- number 1 is from merthur fic called Destiny Ordered You To Die, But I Willed You To Live by ironfamjam

-number 2 is from a klance fic called reach out for you (break these walls) by Paladin-Pile (UserFromPluto)

- number 3 is a batman fic called Home (jason centered) by Daisybirb

- number 4 is a zukka fic by I'm Not Angry Anymore by team_avatars_eyebags

- numbers 5 and 9 are from The Art Of Burning by hella1975, an amazing ongoing atla following zuko

- number 6 is a hualian fic called No paths are bound by cataclysmic_calamity (originally a thread fic but also fully uploaded on ao3)

- number 7 is a merthur fic called tell me every terrible thing you ever did (and let me love you anyway) by Stardustwrites17 (the quote is also originally from a poem apparently)

- number 8 is from a batman fic called Nature and Nurture by lurkinglurkerwholurks

- number 10 is from a steddie fic called let me know (everythings alright) by bexiguess

ALSO there is now a part 2 !! (which I swear is better organized)

boopt

Ykw I usually praise franchises for the fact that a trans character will be trans and nobody will make a big deal about it, but I’m actually quite married to the fact that tgcf doesn’t hesitate to show that being trans actually does suck through Shi Qingxuan (and yes, sqx is trans, eat my ass). It wasn’t some individual scene that tries to hammer down intense and violent trans suffering as hard-hittingly as humanly possible, to the point of triggering trauma, just to never bring it up again like most shows- it’s more subtle than that. Shi Qingxuan is frequently subtly mocked for switching between genders. Their brother scolds them publicly for being in their female form and demands they switch back. People frequently make fun of them for being ‘shameless’ and imply that they’re just a cross dresser. They’re never bothered by it, and never bring it up. They’re perfectly content with their existence, if a little intimidated by their brother. That’s such a nice portrayal of things like this. Sometimes transphobia isn’t violence or slurs, sometimes it’s subtle snideness and the bare minimum of respect. Mxtx doesn’t shy away from these topics, but doesn’t exaggerate them cruelly either (mind you, I’m not sure how deliberate this representation is on their part). They’re portrayed in a realistically subtle way.

blanca slander so real

Rating Bf characters on how well I think they would perform at their Part-time job

Y'all remember the Banana Fish part-time job artworks? Well I remembered it so now it's my job to share my unwanted opinion on all of them :)

1. Ash as Pizza delivery boy: 5/10

With Ash it just really depends on his mood

He's the fastest deliverer if he wants to

But he's also the guy to deliver your pizza with half the pizza missing and his explanation being: "sorry bro I got hungry"

Also your order will "mysteriously disappear" if you don't tip him enough

2. Shorter as Waiter: 10/10

I mean it's canon that Shorter works at Chang Dai

He wants to be the future owner of the diner so his grind is strong 💪💪

Makes the customers feel comfortable and I just feel like the vibe would be good with him.

3. Sing as Messenger Boy: 7/10

I can see him having fun at this job

Problem is when he starts to have too much fun and gets too invested in people's businesses

He's gonna know every secret in every neighborhood that's nearby

Bonus point because despite acting like he's a delivery boy from the 1900's (definitely tried to speak like them as well), he does a good job

4. Eiji as Pet Groomer: 100/10

Staff was so right for this

Puppy happiness increases by 1000%

5. Yut Lung as Beauty Advisor: 9.5/10

Okay first of all he ABSOLUTELY KNOWS what he's doing so this is an amazing job choice

Will give his clients actual helpful advice and make sure they look STUNNING

Also he definitely lets you rant about your day and will gossip with you whilst fixing your mascara

(and he absolutely calls his clients "honey" or "sweetie" so bonus point)

Minor problem is he WILL judge you if he doesn't like one of your requests and he WILL let you know

6. Blanca as Bartender: -1000/10

I do not trust this man with my drink.

Uuuuuugggghhhhh I wanna write a modern AU where Qi Rong is on the run from the law with Guzi but I’m sooooooooo lazyyyyyyyy

I would kill anyone for these three

Banana fish fanbase, community or whatever you call yourselves, I'm about to give an honest opinion and ask something super important here and I want to see if you all agree with me on this. So—can we all agree that these's three–👇

Are so underrated and most underappreciated. They are just so awesome and sweet, and it honestly hurts me to see that they don't get enough love and attention. (To me at least.)

They really respect their boss, is fully aware of the danger they have to face and they were super chilled when Eiji just suddenly showed up and gotten involved. (I adore his friendship with Kong and Bones btw🥺💓)

So, am I the only one who thinks like this or do you all feel the same?