Sorry-but-im-slightly-illiterate - We’re All Clueless

Dick appointment on pause bc he’s soul searching

y’all hear about Kim Kardashian bombing a gas station in Tucson?

"ingredients you can pronounce!!!" actually i'm great at phonics and i love eating chemicals

Pickle, smooth honey peanut butter, and a couple doritos dynamite

My red flag - I keep log of all the icks the guys I’ve talked to gave me and I red flag the ones that are actually red flags so I can prevent myself from texting them again

sims 4 patch notes will be like “fixed an issue where harvesting carrots caused toddlers to explode” then you load the game and all your sims are bald

the thing about having a job is i just don’t want to do it. Sorry

I feel for it again ✋😔 for I am only a girl

“Basically.. my desk is a mess”

(Albeit very cute and sweet) and I respect him bc I get it but he’s a little dumb and cringe and I think I was just dick sick bc wow being cute and sweet and great in bed does not make up for being that bad of a communicator

Now imagine if she was wearing a propeller hat 

I think I’m going to keep my wisdom teeth. Can’t afford to take that shit out + L + ratio + it’s all a scam from big dental anyway