God Created Man To Be Penetrated

taught my dog the word 'yucky' in association to grossness so if he's chewing on something weird I run up to him and yell "YUCKY" and he gives me this look

never not reblogging bruce the apeshit parrot

been going insane over Bruce in his eating dome for 24 hrs now

I wish octopus could learn how to read. They could be pen pals with middle schoolers.

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

the zoo is closed forever because a zookeeper developed psychic powers and is using her mind to fling penguins at anyone who tries to stop her

I'm doing this the moment i get my car 🙏

Smh all women do is lie

- chad

a girl will be named isabel and then she isnt even a bell