I Need Jeremy Knox To Have A Wild Side. I Have This Image In My Brain That He Has A Switch That Flips

Some sketches of my OC's for one of my stories, Im proud of them and wanted to show them off 😅

Sofia and Colin, my babies. I am so so proud of how colin came out in the colored version, I was testing new brushes and messing around then he turned out amazing. The one of them together is supposed to be them on a merry-go-round in the snow at like 14 but I need to work on it more lol.

Surprisingly not SBG related 😅

I just finsihed reading All For The Game and I am so hyperfixated and need to rant about it

Spoilers

1. People do not talk enough about how Neil told Kevin to get his pycho on a leash or he will and the forever after Andrew told him to never pull his leash again, they highlight his perfect memory all of the time and this is just another one of those moment but like Andrew knew that Neil was right when he said that. He does have a leash, and Kevin has pulled it a lot, whether he means to or not. But Neil has it too, but he doesnt use it the same, instead he holds tight and gives Andrew the choice, every time he give him the choice.

Like Andrew knows wholeheartedly Neil is his weak point even if he refuses to admit it but he has to say something about being emotionally manipulated, but I think it was more of a warning than a threat. He knows Neil has an upper hand, his 'dont pull my leash' seems more like 'you can make me do anything with a single word and that scares me' Neil is different to him and I think he is so entranced and terrfied of that realization, hints the 'its not a this' because if it was he could lose it. He has been pulled and pushed and dragged around for so long, he refuses to let the one person who asks him to do the same. Neil doesnt need to manipulate Andrew because Andrew is so willing to do anything he asks.

2. The whole please conversation broke me. I had to take a moment to calm down because it hit so horribly close to home. Andrew has been used and assulted and belittled for simply being there. He so desperately wants affection, who doesnt, but the memories of someone doing things to him against his will is so haunting. Thats why the yes or no is so important to him every single time, nevermind the always, he will ask anyway, because no one ever asked him. His 'no' was vetoed and his 'please' ignored. Neil didn't even need to know this to stop cold in his tracks the moment Andrew said to. Neil knows Andrew doesn't like to be touched and the breif moments when its allowed are barely okay, so he doesn’t push it because he doesn't want to lose those moments. He is willing to stand with time and wilter waiting for when its okay again. Yes sometimes he has reached out or crossed a line but several more times he reminded himself, he doesn't like to be touched. 'His hand froze a hair away' 'he remembered last second' and so many more times he forced himself not to because he has no right. Andrew sees this, sees how he is so willing to actively not hurt him. Neil disgards the times Andrew has crossed a line, has hurt his friends or got so angry he saw red because he undrestand how desperately Andrew is searching for control, of anything, he's never had it before. He could have killed Allison for slapping Aaron. He so tightly holds onto the few things he has. He won't let someone hurt or break or take anything he has left. Which is why I believe he hesitates when Neil says he's not going anywhere, because he has fought tooth and nail for all he has, to keep Aaron who wants to leave, to hold himself together after all he has been through. Neil is willing to stay by his side and asked Andrew to stop fighting for him. The simple 'no' followed by 'thats why' is all Neil needed to understand, Andrew wants Neil because he is willing to put himself aside. Because his 'no' means so much to Neil, and he would never break it.

I came so close to tear with these books 😭

Not really spoilers but be warned TGR :

If JereJean ever does have a sex scene, I really want it to be wholesome. I don't want a slow burn that crash lands with hungry hands and desperation (I know its called them hungry several times when it comes to them being horny lol but bare with me) I want them to walk into it slowly and both agree, hopefully even having their own 'yes or no' moment. I want them to be fumbling around in the dark like teenagers trying for the first time, clumsy and full of laughter. I want for Jeremy to realize its not about the sex itself but about who you are with and for Jean to understand it is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. The soft whispers of apologies through hushed laughter as they accidentally bump into each other or struggle with clothing. Gentle words of "is this okay" "can I touch you here" "right here is perfect" barely able to see and having to use hands to understand where they are. Ugh! I need them to be happy when they finally share themselves with each other.

If anyone has read "We Contain Multitudes" by Sarah Henstra, thats where my desperation of wholesome sex scenes stems from, they're whole 'researchers discovering the human body' is always going to hold a place in my heart.

I am in suffering. My phone is completely broken and you cant fast pass on PC, SBG my heart yearns for you :(

totally spoiled some of the most recent chapter but that's okay, I just pray they make it out of their situation and I get a happy moment when I can finally read it again

The fandom keeps taking about how they want Jeremy to get red carded defending Jean (if anyone is going to do that it would be Cat but yall arent ready for that convo) or for Jeremy to yell and go off on kevin for leaving Jean at evermore. I think Jeremy would understand, he wouldn't like it and may be angry but I think he would be more hurt that Kevin had to choose between saftey and betraying a friend. HOWEVER! I counter that Neil would be the one to get onto Kevin. Picture this, its a first banquet since Jean became a Trojan and Neil finds him and they start having a conversation in French about his new team or whatever random topic. Jeremy sees them and immediately is like 'nope, no way, last time these two were alone Jean came home in the middle of the night in shambles.' And goes over there. He doesnt say anything, just stands by Jean giving Neil heavy side eye. Of course Neil being Neil glares straight back. 'The fuck is his problem. He wants to be pissed at me when he failed to protect Jean?' Jean steps in at this point, trying to keep Neil from starting a fight.

"Do not start anything here. Jeremy's done nothing wrong and I am not cleaning up your messes.' Jean scolds in french.

"Nothing wrong? He was supposed to keep you safe. Which he failed at by the way."

"I dont need anyone to keep me safe." Jean glares at him, defending himself to which Jeremy takes one more step closer, just in case. Kevin and Andrew catch onto the commotion and walk over, taking stance next to them.

"Really? If we honestly believed that we wouldnt have sent you to the Trojans, you may as well have been a fox." Neil loosely gestures at Jeremy, dismissive.

"You and I both know he could never fit in as a fox." Kevin cuts in, switching them to English

Neil turns to him full of animosity. The glare of a Wesninski, its enough to make his stomach drop.

"I think youve already had enough say in where he ends up considering you left him at evermore in the first place." Kevin recoils, taking four steps back and staggering on the fifth, a look of horror on his face. When he glances at Jean, hes looking down. He knows its not true but its how it felt. Neil doesn't have to say anything else, Kevin knows what the ravens are capable of, hes seen it, on Jean, on himself, on Neil. The twisted smile on Neils face is enough to force Kevin to look away. Neil switches back to French, in a calmer tone.

"He is meant to keep you safe and help you get through all the shit they did to you. If he is incapable of doing that, you know where to find me. If you are hurt under his watch again." Back to english "I'll handle him." He glares at Jeremy then turns away, Andrew a step behind, staying between them.

oh what I would give for Jean to go to another festival, to get to see fireworks again, maybe even play games. For him to try Agua Fresca, a little reassurance from Cat and he might have a sweet beverage he can actually enjoy without stress. I need him to be walking around with a stuffed animal Jeremy won under one arm, while holding a fruit drink with a little umbrella in the other hand, waiting patiently for them to try all the rides (there is no way in hell he is getting in a tiny metal box built in a day to go flying through the air) maybe he would try the bumper cars or do a corn maze. Him watching kids run and laugh, seeing all the lights and fun music, maybe there is even a live band. Jeremy watching him be appalled by the idea of funnel cake (the three of them finish two). Laila convincing him to do face paint, so he has all these intricate swirls on the left side of his face, burying the '3' in a wash of twists and turns of color. Jeremy dragging him to the petting zoo, seeing all these animals he has never been around. Goats, ducks, sheep, and ponies all mingling together. He hates the smell, but there's this little duck that follows him everywhere he goes and he cant help but to feel something. Cat cramming them all into frame for a picture as they are leaving, getting all the rides and lights behind them and maybe he even smiles, just a small, content smile as Jeremy presses their faces together, hugging the girls to them.

I thought about this forever ago and no one has done it so I attempted to do it myself 😅

This just feels so them coded. For a 3 hour project I'm really proud of it :)

The original ⬇️

I imagine this is what goes on in his head the whole time he has an empty stare 😭

i hate you

you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs because obviously someone could never look at me like you do. nobody could SEE ME the way you do. nobody else would dare to step into a viper pit on the off chance that it might protect me because nobody else has ever considered that i’m a real person. and that means you cannot be real. because there isn’t a single person who would try to protect me. i’m the only person who can save myself and i haven’t wanted to save myself in a very long time. i cannot be saved. but then i saw you standing there with auburn hair and blue eyes… jesus christ you cannot be real. because you are a terrified runaway and now you’re telling me that instead of running away like i told you to, instead of letting me take the fall like i expected to, you somehow ran directly into danger for ME? unreal unreal unreal you are a hallucination and a pipe dream because you’re saying things nobody has ever said to me and there is a catch in your voice that i’ve never heard before and it’s all because you were worried about me and it makes me sick because nobody should ever make you feel that way, least of all me. i see every piece of myself and my pain directed back at me, reflected in the ocean of your eyes and it makes me want to burn down the world, it makes me want to destroy myself, and yet you keep telling me that i deserve to live. you see me and you won’t let me tear myself apart but you don’t see that in offering yourself up to be slaughtered you are ripping me to shreds. you cannot be real. you cannot exist. and yet here you are, standing in front of me, bruised and bandaged and more alive than you’ve ever been. and i’m so terrified to want any piece of that because it’s impossible. you’re impossible. you don’t listen. you won’t back down when i tell you i’m not worth it. you’re a dream. you’re all the hopes i threw away when i was a child. you’re not my savior. i wish you would save me. i wish you could. i’m terrified that if i look at you too long, you will.

i hate you.

How I see it is that they do care for their son, they love him but they dont have a relationship with him. When he woke up from dying, his mother was panicking and he ignored her to check on Ashlyn, a girl hes know for what, 3 months if that. He was more concernedfor a friend he barely knows than he was about seeing his parents. Again at the hospital, she called for them to leave and he ignores her. Even when he wakes up after passing out, he doesn't reall pay attention to them, focused on Ashlyn blaming herself and bullying Tyler. I think he cares for his parents sure but how can you have a relationship with someone who is never around. Then his father seems barely present when he is there (in my opinion at least). The scene that really pisses me off is when they compare their son and other children being in life or death situations nightly to a mix up at work. Obviously they are privileged people, nothing wrong with that, but how can you be so sheltered from reality that all you can compare death to is extra paper prints? It hints that Aiden may have depression or at least felt incredibly lonely, they never noticed that. You cannot convince me they picked up on his emotional needs because they said things like "he used to be a quiet kid" and never questioned if he was okay. They may not be intentionally hurting him, but they are bad parents. That and Jessica just annoys me. I just think they are ignorant and believe that because Aiden has a "good" home that he doesnt have problems. They provide food and shelter and money, what else could a child need? One thing I think is important to keep in mind, why would Red write it out like this if it was not supposed to be delved into, there is no point in making them look bad if they are truly good parents. Why hint at these things if thats not whats going on in the background? Its obvious they have a rough relationship, and I think that comes from them probably not expecting to have had a child and being emotionally immature. I dont necessarily think its their fault or blame them, they are probably genuinely doing their best, but just dont stop to think of Aiden individually. 🤷‍♀️ I digress

am I the only one who thinks Aiden’s parents were nicer than people think?

Disclaimer: this probably makes no sense because I made this sleep-deprived but still wanted to post it

I’ve seen and read a lot of fics, posts, etc. about Aiden’s parents being neglectful, rude, or forcing etiquette onto Aiden but there’s no way I’m the only one who thinks otherwise.

In (S2) Ep. 61, we see a glimpse of Aiden’s ‘childhood’ of him as a child curled up on the bed in a messy room. This scene just made me think overall that Daniel and Jessica can try their best as parents but overall, they have horrible parenting skills.

In the same episode, we see how much they care for Aiden. Daniel and Jessica begin to panic when Aiden starts seizing and you can see it plain on their faces.

They’re both reaching out to him and maybe it’s because they’re his son so their brain automatically creates this worry but they wouldn’t be like this if they didn’t care.

But in the next episode, we can see that Daniel is sitting on the couch while watching over Aiden who is sleeping. He’s clearly worried for his son and no one can make me think otherwise, that one panel is everything to me.

Even at the hospital, once Taylor starts shouting at them and they see the phantoms out the window, Jessica wants to leave with Aiden. Might be a small detail but I’m gonna use it for my argument (I don’t know if that’s the right word).

When we see younger Aiden who seems expressionless in the family photo, I think it would be safe to assume he was forced into that position, right? In my opinion, it could’ve just been him wanting to make his parents proud rather than being forced, or I think this case would be half-forced.

In episode 78, Daniel and Jessica’s first concern is the state of their son who is passed out and is aware that he died in the phantom dimension (which they are in), they would be pretty worried. They rather hear an explanation for Aiden’s state than how or why they are also stuck in the dimension.

Looking further into Daniel and Jessica’s parenting skills or issues, they probably haven’t seen the issue or fault in their parenting. They allowed Aiden freedom by giving him allowance, letting him dye his hair at a young age (guessing around grade 7 or 8), and letting him get red eye contacts.

But at the same time, they’re barely there. I think parents assume kids are fine or overreacting when seeing them in a state of deep sadness and they must’ve gone through the same thinking process.

In the end, I think Jessica and Daniel love Aiden very much. No one can change my mind.

No one can tell me they abuse him, insult him—he literally has the same eyes as his father— or I don’t know what anyone else has said.

Daniel and Jessica love Aiden they just need to up their parenting skills or needed to.

People do not talk about the "only once" line enough. Not only is it hot as fuck, but Jean is under contract to not cause problems, to uphold the Trojans reputation, so he did that to redirect attention, to threaten, and to take control of the situation. Yes, he is still following every rule, but he is also warning him that is can and will break those rules if he needs to. The next time he swings, it will land. He's lucky the were not alone.

protective jean & his partner!!!!!