Surprisingly Not SBG Related ๐Ÿ˜…

Surprisingly not SBG related ๐Ÿ˜…

I just finsihed reading All For The Game and I am so hyperfixated and need to rant about it

Spoilers

1. People do not talk enough about how Neil told Kevin to get his pycho on a leash or he will and the forever after Andrew told him to never pull his leash again, they highlight his perfect memory all of the time and this is just another one of those moment but like Andrew knew that Neil was right when he said that. He does have a leash, and Kevin has pulled it a lot, whether he means to or not. But Neil has it too, but he doesnt use it the same, instead he holds tight and gives Andrew the choice, every time he give him the choice.

Like Andrew knows wholeheartedly Neil is his weak point even if he refuses to admit it but he has to say something about being emotionally manipulated, but I think it was more of a warning than a threat. He knows Neil has an upper hand, his 'dont pull my leash' seems more like 'you can make me do anything with a single word and that scares me' Neil is different to him and I think he is so entranced and terrfied of that realization, hints the 'its not a this' because if it was he could lose it. He has been pulled and pushed and dragged around for so long, he refuses to let the one person who asks him to do the same. Neil doesnt need to manipulate Andrew because Andrew is so willing to do anything he asks.

2. The whole please conversation broke me. I had to take a moment to calm down because it hit so horribly close to home. Andrew has been used and assulted and belittled for simply being there. He so desperately wants affection, who doesnt, but the memories of someone doing things to him against his will is so haunting. Thats why the yes or no is so important to him every single time, nevermind the always, he will ask anyway, because no one ever asked him. His 'no' was vetoed and his 'please' ignored. Neil didn't even need to know this to stop cold in his tracks the moment Andrew said to. Neil knows Andrew doesn't like to be touched and the breif moments when its allowed are barely okay, so he doesnโ€™t push it because he doesn't want to lose those moments. He is willing to stand with time and wilter waiting for when its okay again. Yes sometimes he has reached out or crossed a line but several more times he reminded himself, he doesn't like to be touched. 'His hand froze a hair away' 'he remembered last second' and so many more times he forced himself not to because he has no right. Andrew sees this, sees how he is so willing to actively not hurt him. Neil disgards the times Andrew has crossed a line, has hurt his friends or got so angry he saw red because he undrestand how desperately Andrew is searching for control, of anything, he's never had it before. He could have killed Allison for slapping Aaron. He so tightly holds onto the few things he has. He won't let someone hurt or break or take anything he has left. Which is why I believe he hesitates when Neil says he's not going anywhere, because he has fought tooth and nail for all he has, to keep Aaron who wants to leave, to hold himself together after all he has been through. Neil is willing to stay by his side and asked Andrew to stop fighting for him. The simple 'no' followed by 'thats why' is all Neil needed to understand, Andrew wants Neil because he is willing to put himself aside. Because his 'no' means so much to Neil, and he would never break it.

I came so close to tear with these books ๐Ÿ˜ญ

More Posts from Smittenmeraki and Others

4 months ago

Andrew doesnt like whne people touch his things, he doesnt share and Neil is his. When a small fangroup of girls rushes up to Neil before the game, he ignores them, prentending he doesn't care. He stands far off blocking out the random squeals and complements until one of the girls asks for a picture. Neil gives a shrug and a fake smile to get it over with, the girl getting up on her toes to kiss his cheek and take the picture. Andrew takes two steps forward before they are called for lineup. His eyes don't leave the girl until Neil is as his side again. The game goes by in a blur, score after score, shut down after shut down, Andrew keeps most of his frustration in check, only getting worked up when the ball makes it to his goal. They win 17 to 8 and when the bell tolls Andrew steps out of his goal. The foxes celebrate in the middle and he joins them, almost, barely two feet off of the huddle, he motions for Neil. Neil obeys and walks over, taking off his gloves on his way. Andrew has already removed his gloves and helmet, abandoning them at the goal. When Neil makes it to him, his helmet is unbuckled but in place, so Andrew laces his fingers with the guard, tugging it.

"Off." Neil obeys, pulling it over his head and letting Andrew drop it to the floor. "Yes or no?" Neil looks at him suprized, he doesnt ever want public affection, and with this many people around? Neil pans over the crowd, scanning the faces of cheering bystanders. Andrew grabs his face and pulls him back. "Yes or no?" He repeats, locking their eyes together.

"Its always yes. You know that." Neil cant help but smile as Andrew rolls his eyes then yanks him to him. Neil instinctively puts his hands in his hair, pulling him closer. Their kiss is aggressive and sudden and over before Neil is satisfied, but he drops his hands and lets Andrew push him away. Neil only stares when its over, wanting more and not caring for the thousands who just saw. Andrew turns his head to where the fangirls sit, then grabs Neil by the collar, pulling him off the court, Neil only smiles wider as the foxes lose their minds about what just happened, exchanging their bet payouts.


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11 months ago

This will be my second post on here! So, here are my sbg headcannons:)

Taylor+Aiden gossip besties and sometimes they drag Ash and/or Logan with them

Taylor LOVES K-pop and always tries to teach the others dances.

Ash EATS every single time

Aiden is actually really good(like suspiciously good) (did he practice beforehand?)

Ben and Logan are decent but not great

Tyler couldnโ€™t stand on one leg to save his life there is NO WAY heโ€™s getting through K-pop choreo

They were all hanging out one day and Logan just started crying because he was so grateful for all of them

Logan+Ash siblings go

Logan has a different flower assigned to each member of the group and doodles them whenever heโ€™s missing the others

Ben knows how to do hair(because of lily) and Taylor and Ash always have amazing hairstyles after hanging out with him

The group is trying their best to learn ASL so they can communicate with Ben more easily

Tyler has broken at least 5 bones in his life

Aiden has broken none

Ben almost died once because he fell asleep with wired earbuds in and choked himself

Party rock anthem once played at a school dance. They never recovered.

Aiden can do a backflip

Aiden canโ€™t write. Not like heโ€™s fully unable to do the act of writing but like, he canโ€™t write an essay. Partly because he looses motivation and concentration half way through and partly because itโ€™ll just be incomprehensible by the end.

The twins 100% have abandonment issues

Aiden owns a katana

The twins totally have a secret handshake

They also most definitely had a case of cryptophasia

Logan got increasingly more strange as the group got to know him

1 month ago

IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS. Cat and Jean making dinner and Jean keeps getting annoyed that its in his face so Cat just kinda walks up to him and puts it up, so its kinda messy and the waves are all overlapping in that way they do when its unbrushed. Jean just giving a brief thank you before he continues cutting/seasoning food. Meanwhile Jeremy is just watching like ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Jean whoโ€™s still upset about his hair being ripped out in the nest, and lets his hair grow out super long just because he can.

Jeremy, who sees jean with his hair in a manbun for the first time and LOSES. HIS. SHIT.


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2 months ago

Take this man to get a tattoo. Take ๐Ÿ‘ this๐Ÿ‘ man ๐Ÿ‘ to ๐Ÿ‘ get ๐Ÿ‘ a ๐Ÿ‘ tattoo!! GAH theres nothing else that can make him reach peak hotness (big messy manbun ๐Ÿ‘€) like a tattoo can.

No but really, I can see him getting like blackberry flowers or maybe seashells in remembrance of Elodie. Something simple and sweet, very little coloring thats well shaded on his forearm or his bicep. Maybe even putting her name in fancy cursive (if he can bring himself to be so sentimental, I know he struggles to say/hear her name)

As much as I would really like to see him reunited with her (remains)

[ talked about here https://www.tumblr.com/smittenmeraki/778038352449601536/no-because-i-keep-thinking-of-neil-having-his?source=share ],

I dont think that will happen and this is a beautiful way for him to pay tribute and put her to rest.

at some point after tgr, the trojans sit cat down intervention-style

โ€˜cat you CANNOT keep making jean hotter. you taught him how to cook. you taught him how to drive a motorcycle and helped him get his own. youโ€™re getting him to show his soft boy side in public. you helped convince him to be a dog dad cat we CANโ€™T HANDLE ANY MORE the whole team is obsessed with him and jeremy is DYING can you have some CONSIDERATION catโ€™


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4 months ago

Andrew has been particularly bored this game, they are tied for the third time in a row, yet nothing interesting has happened in the first half of the game. Taking their small rest of halftime, Neil approaches him with a smile that tells Andrew hes plotting something.

"What." Andrew gives him a curious glare as he sits down on the bench beside him.

"Shut down the goal." Neil demands blankly.

"And why would I do that." Immediately pissed off by this, Andrew gets ready to walk off, but Neil says something that makes him reconsider.

"If you do, that little corner store on the way to the dorm. I'll buy you everything you can carry." Neil stares at him with a look that says he already knows the answer, even though Andrew hasnt said or done anything, so he walks away without changing that.

The game starts again and Andrew defends the goal as if its sacred. 32 shots made and not a single one passes him, nothing is going to come between him and his seemingly endless stash of sweets. The rest of the Foxes are greatfully astonished, having no idea why Andrew suddenly kicked it up three gears.

Neil does as agreed, following Andrew around the convinent store as he fills his hoodie pocket, then his pants pockets, the hood itself, over filling his arms and tucking things in every possible location until Neil is certain he will start dropping things.

"Okay, youve already broken rules. You have enough." Neil chuckle as him barely able to see his face buried under the mountain of candy and ice cream.

"And what rules do you think Ive broken rabbit?" Andrew tilts his head with an intrigued glare.

"You filled your pockets. Thats not holding it."

"You said carry. Its on my person and I am carrying it. Buy up."

Rolling his eyes, Neil waits as Andrew awkwardly shuffles a fourth bag of skittles into his sleeve.

After another few minutes of him picking out his remaining choices, they go to the counter, the cashier a young woman wraring an mixed expression of 'what the fuck' and impressed. Before Andrew can start dropping it all on the counter, the click of a camera goes off. Andrew turns to Neil, anger overtaking his face. Another click. Neil lowers his phone as he pulls out his wallet.

"Youre insufferable." Andrew drops whats in his arms and digs the rest out of his sleeves, pockets and hood.

"What percent am I at now?"

"110%"

"Thats not even mathematically possible." Neil grumbles, but he smiles still.

Once they are back to the dorm, neil saves the photo of Andrew looking pissed with 300$ worth of candy in his arms as his phones background.

Andrew changes it to a picture of his middle finger two days later.


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5 months ago

I have been dwelling on the ravens, I need to preface this tangent with, I am not at all disregarding, belittling or excusing any of what these people have done, but I neeed to deep dive my thoughts because i cant be the only one who thought about this

Spoliers for like literally everything ๐Ÿ˜…

All of the ravens were failed, not just Kevin and Jean or even Neil. Even Riko and Greyson were failed. They were children. They were abused and manipulated and treated like they werent even people. They were forced into solitude, conditioned into violence and I can understand why most of them turned into monsters. If you really take a step back to think about it, its survival of the fittest, but being the fittest means being the cruelest, because if you were the absolute worst, no one would hurt you. 'If I become the monster, maybe I will be safe from what they do to each other'. How many times do you think the thought crossed their minds of "I cant be weak or I will end up like Jean, a punching bag, a play thing" or "If I mess up, if I dont give it my everything, they will break me like they did Kevin, but they will be more thorough this time, theyd end me" these are children, how else would they respond to these horrible conditions, how can you expect an abused dog to not attack. They are straved and beaten and beraided all for the sake of a 'game'. Greyson was a normal kid before he became a raven, and I dont think those straws would have ever broken of he hadnt become one because they probably never would have exisited. Yes, he is a horrible person now, but he didnt ask for this and in another life, he could have been someone. An older brother with a family and a goal for life, but he was no longer a brother and he had no family, only 'teammates'. I am so hoping that in one of the next books that the world sees what they did to these kids. I need doors busted down and people arrested, if Neil's uncle gets ahold of the Moriyamas, I dont want him to kill him or arrest him because he has always been weary of that, no I need him to tear down everything he has built, to show the people who he is and what his true colors are. I need the world to see that Riko was murdered because his uses ended. I need them to see that these kids are dropping like flies because they cant be people anymore, they dont know how. I want eyewitnesses and video footage making it out and it being undeniable that these kids were failed. They were supposed to be protected, loved and taught. College is supposed to be the gateway to adulthood and they were stripped of their freedom and made into machines. This breaks my heart. I know its so easy to hate these characters and to be angry, which is completely vaild and how we are supposed to view them because they are bad people, but at the end of the day they are children, they never got wymacks second chance or a found family. They didnt have a Renee to pull them out or an Andrew for protection, maybe if they had, things might have been different.


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5 months ago

I think this is probably what Aiden is most afriad of. He saw how badly Ben was hurt, not just physically, but he watched him spiral, loose his voice in every sense of the word, turn into a volient unsoothable person, Aiden became the person Ben is codependent on. He watched as Ben lost the thing he loved most. Of course this would be his worst nightmare, he knows how horrible it was for Ben and Im sure that in some way, he probably blames himself. For not being able to do more, for not helping Ben find his voice, for not protecting him in the first place. Ugh, I could go on about this forever, I really hope Red gives us more of the cousins. I want more of their relationship ๐Ÿฅฒ

Something abt the history book on the shelf repeating itself ?

Something Abt The History Book On The Shelf Repeating Itself ?
Something Abt The History Book On The Shelf Repeating Itself ?
3 months ago

Peacefully listening to this while thinking of Laila whispering this song to Jeremy

Spoilers under the cut

I imagine he goes through moments of wanting to relapse and going to her and just letting her hold him as he tries to calm himself. Very much seeking peace in each other when the world is too heavy. All of her anger and protectiveness comes from her being worried about him and I can see her letting all of that fall away when he needs her. ๐Ÿฅฒ I need more sibling moments from them.

"Honey dont worry nobodys angry at any of this"

"Its like when you're tired, you"re someone else"

"Its easy to break beneath the weight of the earth"

"Cause darling I get scared for you and I'm not busy anyway"

"All of your falling, has it got exhausting have you gotten sleep"

There are so many lyrics that just resonate with them, my poor babies


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9 months ago
Throws Up
Throws Up

throws up

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smittenmeraki - SmittenMeraki
SmittenMeraki

Aspiring author with no time to write. "Head full of fantasies"

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