The Perks Of Dating Damien

the penis smp containment breach, september 6th 2021

Anonymous said to incorrect-seduce-me: Soo um Damien can you pretty please tell me what is the dirtiest aka smutty thing James has dreamed about I swear is for science *blush*

Damien perked up at the question, and a strangely peevish glint flickered in his eye. He smiled, and scooted in closer to the table with both hands cupping his mug of cold apple cider.

“You really wanna know, huh?”

He grinned wider and giggled, glancing around to make sure his brothers weren’t within earshot. He beckoned you to sit at the table with him, and he chuckled again.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to lie about why you want to know,” He tapped his temple twice and winked. “I can hear you, remember?

“Don’t worry, a lot of people think he’s attractive. And he knows it, too,” Damien added with a playfully annoyed tone. “His dreams, though… Right… James can control his dreams sometimes, so he can sometimes focus in on things he likes and wants. But wet dreams are fairly subjective, so… Hmm.”

Damien took a moment to look you over, observed your demeanor, and reflected on how you had asked him for the information you wanted. He took another sip of his cider.

“I think… you wouldn’t like his dirtiest dream. I mean, it weirds me out a little. Weirds out Mika too.” He spoke all this into his mug, the cup giving each word a little porcelain resonance. Another soft slurp. “I don’t judge him though. That wouldn’t be fair.

“Instead, I think you’d like this dream better. It was a while ago, but… well. He still thinks about it now and then.

Keep reading

i wanna see something

like if you are not attracted to kids in any way, are lgbt, and think maps/pedophiles are lgbt

reblog if you are not attracted to kids in any way, are lgbt, and think maps/pedophiles aren’t lgbt

You know when I was playing the Sam vs James extra I was half expecting sam to say " OH YEAH? WELL AT LEAST I DONT LOOK LIKE A CARBON COPY OF HER FUCKING FATHER!" Cause honestly there is nothing James could say to top that

God I’d have been so alive if he’d gone there. I fuckin’ wish. He never would for meta reasons but it would have made the rest of the thing worth it.

Has came true............

I don’t want him to act ‘younger’. I want him to be an idiot!

POV: You are Lucifer that one episode of ObeyMe!

Cat!Damien would always greet Mika at the door when she comes home. Probably stares forlornly out the window when he starts missing her. He rushes to the door as soon as he hears the car pull up. If Mika took too long to get in he'd look at her through the window and meow, begging her to come back to him. He doesn't leave her side for a solid hour after she gets home.

!!!! What a good boy!Poor baby, hesitantly patting the window with his paw. Sad boy. Sad sandy boy. Mika will put your favorite pillow by her lap for you. You can cuddle up with her nice and warm. Round nap. Fluffy.

#Merry crisis

Do you guys remember that one scene between Diavolo and Barbatos?

The one where Dia, after cool epic fuckary, was like "be honest with me, what do you think of my behavior" and Barbatos, much like a robot gave the auto answer "I think your great" or like smth?

Idk where specifically it's from but it's one of my favorite moments between them because of all the relationship dynamic implications, like the way Diavolo looked after after the fact? The way Barbatos bairly hesitated to answer?

It makes me think about how many times they've had that exact exchange, how many times Diavolo could of came to Barbatos for some sort of reprimand or guidance for anything other than his public reputation and how many times he was probably shut down

Honestly, seeing things that way makes me understand more why Diavolo prefers Lucifer to Barbatos, like-

I feel like Barbatos is constantly lying to him? Like there's no way in hell Barbatos is always just.. on his side?

To date I think there's only been maybe 2 cases of Barbatos evenly slightly against Diavolo? And one of them doesn't even count cause he was just stonewalling him (the silent treatment but it's his job to respond)

So ya anyways, Barbatos is a bad mother sorry

(I'll make an actual headcannon post for my Diavolo Barbatos non-sexual/ parent-child relationship ideas uhh eventually if enough ppl care lol)