Cat!Damien Would Always Greet Mika At The Door When She Comes Home. Probably Stares Forlornly Out The

Does Sam not like Fucker because it sounds like him eating pussy?

GUYS!!!!!

So, Lucifer has only our pact right? I think it would be absolutely hilarious for him to find out that his pact spiral is on his hip.

And for a split second, he remembers on of Levi's hyperfixations from long ago; MLP.

/No one can ever know/

Okay okay. If we can't get a detailed description if then eating it, can we at least see their reaction to the boxes? Please :3

Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh I guuuueeessss 😏

James cocks a brow when he examines his box. It looks fancy, whatever it is. An expensive gift from Mika, perhaps? An admirer?Then he opens it, and his eyes bulge.

Erik, too, examines his box with a quizzical knot in his brow, though he’s smiling. Surely it’s something decadent from a fan. He has many, after all. If his name is on it, then it must be something personalized.Erik opens his box and it takes him a moment to fully process and piece together what he’s seeing. A chocolate dick. Sweet Satan. It’s his dick isn’t it. It is. How was this made? Erik catches himself suppressing laughter. He could think of someone to give this to…

Sam doesn’t show it but he kinda feels bad that someone got him something this fancy-looking. He’s not the type who can appreciate fancy-looking shit. That’s James’ whole schtick. He hopes it’s something he can actually use.When he opens it, he sees it in all its green phallic glory for all of a second before dead-ass dropping it on the ground and walking away, looking like a man who has been dead inside for years. And yes, the candy-coated chocolate cock cracked when it hit the ground.

Matthew is bristling and bouncing on his heels as he opens his. Someone got him something nice! Someone spent money on him! He bets its gonna be something great. He doesn’t know what, but it’s gotta be! It has his name on it! There’s gold! By sheer virtue of it being a gift it’s great of course, but now he’s dying to see—Holy Shit It’s A Penis. Made Out Of Chocolate. Oh Beelz It’s His Penis. That… that’s his penis sculpted in chocolate holy shit that’s GREAT!!!! He’s gonna get the tallest glass of milk he can pour; this bad boy isn’t lasting a day.

Damien doesn’t remember hearing anyone drop them off, and he can already hear that it isn’t from Mika. What could this be? It’s in black and gold which is… a bit of a mixed message. Commoner and Crown Prince colors. Strange…He cautiously lifts the lid. And slams it shut, hunching in on himself and spewing a laugh through his teeth like an elephant, eyes frantic in his incredulity. Damien actually lowers to his knee and covers his face with an arm, wheezing, turning pink in the face. Eventually he scrambles for his phone and takes a picture for his snapchat. -Spit-roast for the sweet-tooth.-

I love the draw your squad bases. I was looking for ones to draw for my friends, and found this one. I felt it fit the Seduce Me boys from @thebunnyofevil ’s game well, sooooo…..

You’ve left me no choice

(Also lmk if you want a gif version!)

Do you guys remember that one scene between Diavolo and Barbatos?

The one where Dia, after cool epic fuckary, was like "be honest with me, what do you think of my behavior" and Barbatos, much like a robot gave the auto answer "I think your great" or like smth?

Idk where specifically it's from but it's one of my favorite moments between them because of all the relationship dynamic implications, like the way Diavolo looked after after the fact? The way Barbatos bairly hesitated to answer?

It makes me think about how many times they've had that exact exchange, how many times Diavolo could of came to Barbatos for some sort of reprimand or guidance for anything other than his public reputation and how many times he was probably shut down

Honestly, seeing things that way makes me understand more why Diavolo prefers Lucifer to Barbatos, like-

I feel like Barbatos is constantly lying to him? Like there's no way in hell Barbatos is always just.. on his side?

To date I think there's only been maybe 2 cases of Barbatos evenly slightly against Diavolo? And one of them doesn't even count cause he was just stonewalling him (the silent treatment but it's his job to respond)

So ya anyways, Barbatos is a bad mother sorry

(I'll make an actual headcannon post for my Diavolo Barbatos non-sexual/ parent-child relationship ideas uhh eventually if enough ppl care lol)

blood headcanons. a normal thing to think about

Well, anyone can be killed with a wooden stake if you try hard enough

Proof I’m a vampire: very pale, burn easily in sunlight, don’t sleep very much, look the same as i did when i was little

Proof I’m not a vampire: i eat garlic bread, can’t be killed by a wooden stake

pov you are a pink or otherwise cute pokemon i am about to catch