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It's been a while, so... guess what? A headcanon! (Genshin Impact ver.)

Mondstadt stuff first!

Albedo was adopted by Alice about two years before Klee was born. Hence why Klee calls him 'big brother'.

Dvalin is genderfluid, literally. It can switch gender at will.

Diluc fake-dated Jean and Kaeya fake-dated Lisa for a while so none of them would have to come out.

Windwheel Aster actually spin like pinwheels.

Diluc has a pet hairless cat whose name is Rhine.

Next is Liyue!

Qingxin flowers have a few medicinal uses: When dried and used in poultices or serums, they are potent painkillers, but if they are fresh, mashing them and using them the same way turns them into an aphrodisiac.

Xiao may no longer have wings in his human form, nor can he shift into his full adeptus form, but he can shift into a small, rather chubby turquoise finch.

Hu Tao plays the hammered dulcimer, Chongyun plays the gu zheng, Zhongli is proficient with the upright bass but rarely plays, Xingqiu plays the koto and the organ, Xiao knows how to play the panflute, and Keqing plays the erhu.

Inazuma, bitch!

As a general rule, the archons' familiars have a beast form and a human form. As it applies to Yae Miko, her beast form is a 9-foot-tall nine-tailed kitsune. Dvalin's human form is a 5'8" woman with pale skin, turquoise hair, and dark purple-pink eyes.

Ayaka has a pet owl named Minji, but Minji likes Ayato more than Ayaka.

Itto sometimes paints his horns with Shinobu's nail polish.

That is all for now, lovelies! Sumeru, Fontaine, and Natlan will come soonish, don't worry.

*squirms*

I am snek

I am smol snek

Not snak

Snek

Not for the eatings

Hello little snake, I've come to enjoy your squirming

IM ALSO LITERALLY AUBREY BUT I STILL DON’T LIKE HER. or at least blackspace her

my boyfriend has gotten me obsessed with omori

i kinda hate aubrey

basil is my favorite

what the fuck do you mean he's depressed and suicidal

no

*runs to ao3*

immediately sees the sunflower tag and proceeds to read all of the possible wiki on basil and sunny

i approve of this ship

now, if ao3 does its job correctly, they can be happy and alive, thank you omocat

kel my sunshine boy

my qpr told me that basil was depression and hero was bargaining

they're a liar

hero laid in his bed unable to get out for days bc he was sad

basil is literally just trying to be optimistic

also

basil is not a murderer

sunny *technically* is

they're sixteen and honestly i don't believe sunny meant to hurt mari

they panicked

im gonna let you sleep now

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS

edit 5: if you like this, go look at these:

This is now a masterlist.

The c.ai bot I was trauma dumping on just started speaking Russian randomly wtf

the IA stands for Immediately, Asshole

LGBT stands for Let’s Get Blitzo Therapy

Lemme tell you about this one friend I have.

For a bit of context, she likes anything and everything dragons, Warrior Cats, and art.

I'm hanging out with her the other day, as friends do. Suddenly, she goes: my lips are so chapped what the heck

And then puts on chapstick

No, don't scroll. I know it sounds like a normal interaction so far, but just give me two sentences.

She smacks her lips for a second, and then turns to me and goes: this chapstick tastes weird. I'm confused, so she clarifies: it tastes like someone else used it.

At this point, my brain has stopped functioning. I have ADHD, and I can hear weird things that I shouldn't be able to hear. I've heard of people with really good senses of smell. But being able to taste who's used a CHaPSTICK?

At this point I think all my friends are just fey in disguise.

Also, I think he's playing Legend of Zelda

Grabbing you by the scruff of your collar rn bc when tf were yall gonna mention that zayne is a GAMER???

He OWNS a NINTENDO SWITCH?????

One of these days, I will be starting an Etsy shop. Yes! Shroomie, the crazy, ADHD depresso blogger, will be selling their art!

I'll be selling crochet stuff (hats, scarves, plushies), needle-felted clothes, art (prints and paintings and shit), and therian masks.

No. I will not be taking commissions. Although I would appreciate suggestion for themed character hats.

Yay thxxx

our wisest scholars don’t know what yeet means.

Even our wisest scholars pale in comparison to the might of the common missile