It's Been A While, So... Guess What? A Headcanon! (Genshin Impact Ver.)

The Death Of Akumu, Awrynn Troyer, 2024

hi, my lovely tumblr weirdos! i’m going on hiatus for about a month because of school and stuff, so i won’t be posting anything until early october. until then, remember that my Ask The All-Knowing Shroom box is always open! i desperately need asks, ‘cos i’m having major writer’s block.

Love and smiles, Shroomie

Callback ping

it's snowing!!!!!!!!

It's my cousin Throckmorton's cat. His name is Jeffriney.

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

okay so i know that i may defend geoffrey, but i too am a fellow gay and nebula romantic. i’m like wondering what being nebula romantic means to you personally? #hopethisisntweird (btw i rlly like how silly you can get and i respect that grind)

Nebularomanticism, for me, stems from my neurodivergencies.

I have ADHD and undiagnosed autism, and because of this, I often have a very difficult time telling platonic attraction from romantic attraction.

Mostly, it means that I have a lot of crushes on my friends.

-Example no. 873 of ADHD being annoying

NO!!!

Humans Are Crazy

Aliens have such different gender and biology from humans that none of them menstruate. So imagine this.

Alien: Human Steve, why did I find blood on the lavatory floor?

Steve: Oh, that's just Karen.

Alien: What??

Steve: Human females bleed from their reproductive organs once every month for five to seven days.

Alien: wHAT?!

Steve, calmly: Yeah, they can lose enough blood in a lifetime to kill ten grown men.

Alien: WHaT ?!?!

Karen, walking in: Steve, I need A FUCKING break. And chocolate. And a heating pad. I'll be in my sleeping quarters. Also, I threw up.

Steve: Okay, take the day off, I'll bring you your stuff in a bit.

Alien: *jots down in notebook* Human females are indestructible and fearsome. Regard them with respect.

EDIT: I swear, if this is the thing that makes me Tumblr famous, I’m gonna blow a braincell. And I don’t have many of those left, so…

Edit 2: Guys. Guys. What?! My grumpy menstrual rant is in no way worthy of being tumblr famous. *is mildly to severely confused/thankful/bumfuddled*

Edit 3: Why is this still getting notes wtf

Edit 4: STOP REBLOGING THISSSSSS

She’s $50,000 in debt and doesn’t know that you have to pay off credit cards

I Am Menstruating, So Here's A Period Thought.

(Yes, it's about aliens again.)

We, as humans, eat a lot of food that other animals can't eat. Chocolate, grapes, avocados, broccoli, alcohol (although I did once have a cat who loved beer), caffeine, almonds, pistachios, macadamia nuts, any spicy food, tomatoes, the list goes on. Dairy products, everyone.

I am currently having period cravings. For hot cheetos, spicy ramen, raspberry-infused dark chocolate, and hot cocoa. Any and all of that would kill a dog.

But, would it kill an alien?

I once saw a thing that said that chocolate is a universally poisonous substance. And sure, I'll stand by that. If you give chocolate to any species except for humans, they will die. Miserably.

BUT! And this is a large but.

HUMANS ARE NOT ALL-POWERFUL, NOR ARE THEY ALL-IMMUNE!

Pokeweed (a little, deadly plant characterized by its red stem and purple berries) is absolutely lethal to us. One tiny berry will kill us. Oleander, a beautiful pink/red/white flower, can kill with any/all of its parts. Nightshade, recognized by its bright red berries, kills in less than 24 hours.

Aliens consider all of these plants to be delicacies.

Zygerin chefs whip up fabulously delicious hemlock soups for their patrons. Ytertjjijkis bakers utilize nightshade, pokeweed, and yew in all of their most famous pastries. Aàkî cooks use Oleander and destroying angel mushrooms in common garden salads.

But yes, chocolate is deadly to them. And the other 99.999% of the universe.

why the actual h*ck do I see more tumblr memes on pinterest than on LITERAL TUMBLR?!