Latest Posts by sentiach - Page 4

Since people are playthings posting I'm bringing back this gem because Sam was literally gripping the amulet and flicked it away to cup Deans face. what the fuck.

Well, it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you, would it?

Supernatural S1E05 Bloody Mary

(+)

Amends

I don't usually dip my toe in the drama pool. At least not too deeply. But what's going on in fandom this week, the revelations, were extreme. The people who have come forward... they were in a cult. I am not being overdramatic about this. Gamifying harassment, forcing disconnections like Scientology, needing everyone to observe the same talking points or risk ostracism, leadership using it for money, criminal behavior towards those The Guru has deemed the Out-Group including members who don't conform heavily enough... That's a cult. The internet has made cult behavior REALLY easy. Likes and engagement make you suddenly aware of which direction your circle is leaning. If you agree, YOU TOO GET POINTS. You too will experience that sense of belonging, and that's what it's all about. So if your circle is being outright mean... if you don't want to be cast off as "not one of them"... maybe you say the mean thing too, even if it's a lie, even if you're not really sure why you're saying it. That approval feels SUPER GOOD and is addictive. And your circle amps each other up, gets meaner and meaner. The only people who stay in the in-group are those who don't speak up about the bad behavior and are willing to keep going along with it. Those aren't friendships. It's a pack of hungry carnivores. It's the same behaviors police gangs use on cops who speak up. I do have some sympathy, especially for the younger people who were still forming their identities. They were victims of indoctrination and criminal harassment. That said, they have to own their own behavior. I hope they learn and grow. They're going to have to have some self-reflection on what they've done, the lies told, the hate, the virulent -isms that were expressed, and literal crimes that were performed in the name of fitting in and winning some points with the clique. They're also going to have to reassess who their out-group is, why they even NEED an out-group over fandom things, and if there are still people in their schema who they have an impulse to hate for no reason.... because of a ship or actor preference. They're going to have to question all the lies they were told and if they are still holding onto hate based on that. That's hard if they aren't even sure what the lies were. It's going to be a process for them. We should give people the space and grace to get better. To deprogram themselves. But this does not mean there needs to be automatic forgiveness. Nobody needs to like anyone. But nobody needs to hate anyone either. Maybe the middle ground is we can grow some indifference or the ability to say, "I'm letting it go, this person is in progress, I can't control their journey, the ball is in their court."

If you were behaving badly, you've earned the suspicion of the people you hurt. A few of you are expressing amends, which is wonderful. But part of the thing with making amends is that you don't get to control the outcome. You make a genuine apology for EXACTLY what you've done, you own your part in it, and you don't make excuses... and from there, people may accept what you've said and they may not. They may forgive you immediately, they may take time, they may never forgive you. You have to learn to be good with that. It can be uncomfortable, to feel disliked, ESPECIALLY if the reason you got into the cult was because of that sense of belonging. Your impulse may be to keep giving explanations of how the group influenced you, to distance yourself. You may tell yourself, "I'm not that person, this isn't really me, it was the group." You want to be seen as CHANGED - virginal and new because you made the hard choice to finally leave the cult. ...It isn't that easy. You want the space and grace and you should get that. But guess what? You need to give that to others, too. You need to understand that people have real reasons to distrust you if you were exhibiting cruelty. And part of doing the work to make amends is the actual work. If you're serious about it, it means a lot of difficult self-reflection. You need to take an unflinching look at WHY you could ignore or participate in racism and lord knows plenty of other -isms, why outright defamation and death threats to actors and other fans were okay, why doxing people and trying to get them fired was seen as fair game, why trying to make someone feel hated and terrible about themselves was your impulse, why you were giggling and congratulating yourself for leaning into your worst impulses...until the group turned on you. Because that's the truth of the situation. You now have that self-knowledge of what you're willing to participate in. The question now is what are you going to do with that? I hope it includes therapy and I don't mean that glibly. I think it's possible there are some internet addictions going on where people crave the rush of getting Likes and engagement... and ragefarming is the best way to get engagement. If that's true... it will be EXTREMELY easy to move from the space of performing FOR the cult to performing AGAINST them, so that you can maintain your hit of Likes. And that is just sitting in the same behaviors. But if you're serious about getting better, if you're serious about being honest with yourself, you're going to need to fight against those inclinations. Please ask yourselves if you truly feel your apologies and want to change...or if maybe some part of you is just posting your attempt at amends because you want to fit in with those leaving or because you're craving that approval. Leaving is great! But are you getting the same psychological hit from your posts now? Are you trying to collect a new group that will lovebomb you because you're seeking self-esteem and miss the people who used to give it to you? I'm not saying this in judgment, I'm saying it because many people go from one cult or MLM to another, seeking that same sense of belonging. That's not my wish for you.

To the people on the other side of this... I'm not saying not to speak up if you see people slipping or people whose apologies are revealed as false words. I'm not trying to tone police people getting angry. There have been real reasons to be angry. HOWEVER... please be aware that if we want people to actually learn and grow we need to give them room to do that. There's nothing wrong with a really direct "This is really shitty and unkind behavior." Going scorched earth every time isn't the way. Is it our responsibility to motivate them to change, is it on us? Absolutely not. But are our actions going to unintentionally make them more likely to try and find a gang again because they're feeling defensive? If we also truly want to make things better, we have to ask ourselves what our goal is. Do we just want to give a tongue-lashing because we're angry? We might. And that can be justified sometimes in life. But cornered people don't often make great decisions. If what we want out of this is for people to be less terrible - there are ways to call people in and out, firmly and not sugarcoated, while still not going on the attack.

To the people who finally spoke up, you should be proud of yourselves for that. You took the first step. I hope you keep walking forward.

If you actually read to here... holy crap, I apologize. Many, many words, but I wanted to put them all down somewhere instead of continuing to overthink it at 3:30am. I do want to say... this is just my perspective. If it came off as trying to tell you how to do or feel, or like I think I'm perfect? Nah, kids. I'm a fallible screw-up, too, who is often "cringe," as the children say. We can all work on ourselves. At least that's the hope. If we're open to it.

Anyway. Love y'all, TGC

2 questions for you:

1. What is all the drama going on Twitter about entitled fans? Can you explain, I am so lost! What have the “fans” done to other fans? I saw some other stuff about inappropriate photo op requests? What is going on?

2. What is destiel con?

Also just wanted to say I’m happy you had a fun weekend at the con! Thanks for updating on Twitter. It was much appreciated

So there's a group of 4 Jai, Val, Rose, and Robin, which I'll call the Mean Girls because they act like the characters from the movie. They were part of this group called SHAC, which stands for Spotted Hound Art Club. It's Val’s discord server/club that you gain access to through her patreon.

There's a bunch of tweets on the issue here: link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link.

But basically, the Mean Girls had group chats and discords where they would abuse and bully various people in the fandom. They would go after people who weren't in their clique, but if you got on the bad side of the clique, then you would be bullied relentlessly. Lots of people are sharing stories of being harassed, doxxed, accused of various isms, etc.

One of the rules for being part of their club was that you had to hate Jared or pretend to hate Jared. They drove a lot of the hate towards Jared. They asked people to fake death threats from Jared fans so that they could frame Jared fans for bad behavior.

The Mean Girls were responsible for Misha having to come out as straight. They've caused a lot of toxicity in this fandom.

Apparently they have such a high opinion of themselves, but they make people pay to have one-on-one conversations???

It sounds like they were basically the Destiel Shadow Council 2.0. Kind of crazy that there's been two versions of that group in the fandom in less than 5 years, but I guess there's a really toxic undercurrent in the Destiel fandom.

Apparently they would love bomb and go after young, impressionable fans.

People who used to suck up to Jaistiel are now saying that there were inappropriate photo op requests.

Destiel Con aka A More Profound Con was a free, online convention that was started by fans, for fans, and was destroyed when Val & the Mean Girls threw a shit fit and claimed ableism, which Val apparently loves to do in order to play the victim and get special treatment. It turned into a community event full of love into fighting and mud slinging.

BTW, I saw Jaistiel at the con and they looked very sad and lonely. They were almost always by themselves and on their phone off to the side. Even during karaoke. They are sad, lonely people who have to bully others to have any sense of power.

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

Eyeliner kitty!

I LOVE YOU BEE! I LOVE YOUR SUPERNATURAL FANART!!!

Please delete if you aren't interested but would you take prompts 😬 Dean is a very protective older brother and i vaguely remember an episode where he goes apeshit when sam is bullied back when they were kids (and then something similar happens in that episode). Dean is so so angry and sam is just like <i am baby 🥺> and they are very cute 😩😭

You continue to light my dash AND LIFE with just your existence thank you thank you thank you 😘😘😘

My dear @l0vegl0wsinthedark !!! Sorry it took me months to answer but I just couldn‘t think of a good scenario! Hope you enjoy this one ✨🌻

Thanks for sticking with me through the years and fandoms 🫶

On this note: Thank all of you, who send nice asks and messages and reblog my stuff with hilarious and relatable tags I really appreciate every single one 💚 (super sorry I’m so slow at answering) but I hope I can brighten some days from time to time as much as your support brightens mine on a regular basis!

Have a fantastic week guys 💚🌻

Sam's dimples: reblog if you agree.

Sam's dimples: reblog if you agree.

Sam being soft for his big brother ♥

Jensen Ackles |  Flaunt Magazine 2006  

Jared’s smile for the masses.

🤠

His absolute disbelief and hurt that Dean backs away (even if not willingly) when he is hurt

Supernatural - 2.09 Croatoan

They've been saying it all along. Some of you just weren't listening.

urge to poke his tongue back into his mouth

Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles | Chicago Con 2023 | Gold Panel

📸 credit: @FangasmSpn

Bollywood songs are written for him....

Aankhein Teri.... kitni haseen...

https://youtu.be/l5sgIqzlPXc

Jeevan se bhari Teri aankhein

https://youtu.be/v_nkcw1mD_8

Oh, I wish I had NOT clicked on that. I now have a headache from crying.

watching roadkill thinking about ghost!dean haunting the impala and joining sam on hunts heheheheeeeeeeeeeee

Isn't that the million dollar question!

“What matters is that you’re happy. Are you happy, Sam?”

-4.13

Oh gencest is the absolute best.

I hear a lot of people talking about how they went from discovering gencest to then diving into wincest, but am I the only one who ventured into wincest territory and discovered gencest? I absolutely love gencest. The idea that there are stories where there is no sexual or romantic relationship between Dean and Sam, but where the story focuses on their intense emotional bond is just uhhhhhggg so phenomenal. Platonic soulmates. Cuddles and hugs. Forehead kisses. Protective stances, guarded faces. People on the outside thinking 'damn those Winchester brothers are sewed together at the hip.' Sleeping in the same bed. "There ain't no me if there ain't no you." Parking the Impala and staring up at the stars, side by side. No words need to be said.

I. Just. Can't. Tell. You. How. Much. I. Adore. This. Concept.

He even said "You two choose each other" and "I know I can never have it" so I guess he was bitter and jealous

If he was in love with Dean, he'd have never brought Sam back soulless. He'd have never let Sam loose when he was detoxing off of demon blood. He wouldn't have kept quiet about knowing Sam was soulless or how he let Sam loose in season four. - He would if he thought that as long as Sam was around, he would never have Dean all to himself. Retroactively making Cass in love with Dean ruined the character of Cass and made all his prior actions look incredibly suspect.

Yeah, it's not real love. It's just infatuation. Creepy infatuation.

Jensen trying (and failing) to not laugh

Big pounce

(via)

Jensen trying (and failing) to not laugh

Jensen Ackles | VegasCon 2015 [x]

I just have so much about you boys to catch up on. Mother stuff. You know, first tooth, first crush... I just have a lot of blanks to fill in.

fic rec: Another Brick in the Wall by road_rhythm

fandom: Supernatural

pairing: Sam Winchester/Dean Winchester

word count: 171k

Is it explicit: no

Bottom line: the best casefic i have ever read in all my born days

Alright lads let’s start by calibrating our expectations: road_rhythm is not for everyone. I do not think I would have put myself through the emotional wringer of this fic if I didn’t already at least have Gnaw and The Operative Word under my belt. This fic is not the fic I would reach for were I at 20% brain capacity. But I trust roadie. I trust them to give me, not a happy ending—you’re barking up the wrong tree for that—but a satisfying answer to the questions raised by the story, and it is in this sense that roadie always, always delivers. The question this fic asks is: How does Sam reconcile his need for independence with his need for Dean?

That’s not the only question—it’s a really dense story—but it’s the one I’m most interested in. Sam is abducted and wakes up in a sewer. That’s how it opens. He waits and waits for Dean to rescue him. Spoiler alert: He rescues himself. Which is not to say he doesn’t still need Dean—the reason he had the physical and psychological resources to escape was due to a sacrificial ritual Dean performed on his behalf. It was not an easy ritual; Dean went on a whole hero’s quest and in the end Sam saved himself. But what Dean did for Sam still matters. That’s the crux of it. In an author’s note that made me tear up, roadie returns from a two-year hiatus to confess she had doubts that the fic was too long, too plotty, too boring …and then kept writing anyway. Thank you for caring about this dumb show about dumb brothers doing dumb shit, roadie. Thank you for reassuring us that they matter, and that our investment in them matters.

In the hands of a lesser author, a casefic might be merely an opportunity to refract some aspect of the Winchesters’ relationship back at them. Another Brick in the Wall does this too, but the scope of its vision is staggering. There are themes that you see in roadie’s earlier work that come to fruition here: Sam and bodily autonomy, Sam and faith, Dean and food-as-caretaking, the-city-as-character (the number of maps of Providence, Rhode Island she must’ve pored over to write the car chase scene alone).

roadie’s take on brotherfucking is: It is a thing that has fucked them both up but it is also nowhere close to being the most fucked-up thing about them. Half the time you’re reading a roadie fic you don’t even realize it’s established relationship until they have sex and then you’re like whoah whoah roll back the tape, what?! This fic is no exception. There’s no pining, no dancing around the line, no guilt—I mean there’s plenty of guilt but very little of it on account of gay incest. Again: The point of the sex is it’s not the most fucked-up thing about them. In a lot of mutual pining stories the stakes are “does he want me back” but in THIS fic the stakes are “does he need me (in every sense of the word need, including but not limited to sexually) as much as I need him” and the answer is, obviously, both of you idiots need to find a dictionary and look up the word ‘codependent.’

I think it’s so telling that while the boys are reunited by the end of the fic, it doesn’t solve any of their underlying issues, and the only time they actually know peace is in their fantasies. Not sexual fantasies, either—the fantasy is about being together being enough for both of them. I legit wept. No one has ever accused roadie of over-romanticizing samdean lol but the thing that gets me about her writing is that it’s so layered, there’s always 5-8 bowling pins in the air at once, one of which is invariably the impulse to reach for an ideal love. An unobtainable ideal given who and what the Winchesters are, but they keep reaching for it. It’s a theme that crops up throughout roadie’s work: the gulf between what they want and what they are allowed to have (see especially Finding Harmony and This is All Very Meta ).

Finally before we get started I just want to register my admiration for roadie’s command of canon. I have never seen its equal. The fic is not constructed so that you can’t understand it without the canon background—I confess the first time I read it I had not seen Season 6—but I am floored by the amount of care and thought that went into situating it chronologically within canon so that events could unfold to their inevitable conclusion. It’s set in Season 6 which means Castiel is too busy waging a heavenly civil war to heed Dean’s prayers. It’s set after 06x16 “And Then There Were None” which means that Bobby’s too busy mourning Rufus to answer Dean’s calls. It’s set in Season 6 which means Ellen, Jo and Ash are gone but we don’t have access to Jody, Garth, Charlie, and a host of other allies that might have been available in later seasons. All in all roadie has done an airtight job of isolating our boys; of ushering every potential outside resource offstage. It’s just Sam and Dean, and the two of them aren’t reunited until the 80% mark. Which lets you see just how dysfunctional they both are without the other. The real payoff of the “isolate the crap out of samdean” strategy, though, comes later, in the Lisa scene: Crucially, this fic is set before 06x21 “Let It Bleed,” the episode where Crowley kidnaps Ben and Lisa. roadie apparently looked at the way Dean lost Lisa in canon and went “Nope, not painful enough, how about I twist the knife in harder.” In canon, Lisa and Ben were vulnerable to Crowley because Dean wasn’t with them, because Dean had chosen to hunt with Sam rather than settle down with Lisa. And that choice had passively endangered Lisa and Ben. In this fic, however, Dean is faced with a much starker choice: In order to save Sam he has to actively endanger Lisa by recruiting her as his confederate in a scheme that has a nonzero chance of resulting in a felony conviction. But Dean’s got no one else. There is literally no one else he can turn to whom he can trust, and as much as it pains him he does not hesitate to burn this final bridge because when it comes to Sam he will cross every line and burn every bridge.

Ok guys let’s do a close reading!

Keep reading