Oh, I Wish I Had NOT Clicked On That. I Now Have A Headache From Crying.

Had an extra splitting headache today for a few hours. So all the writers of the show and fic, who give Sammy head wounds and headaches all the time, fuck you very much!

↳ for @seasononesam's follower celebration

This is so good.

One additional point- let's say Dean does see Castiel as someone who can be confided in. Why would it mean that they have a relationship beyond being friends? Do people get sexually attracted to anyone who gives them the time of day?

Alrighty- Whaddya think of this?

I’ve been rewatching the show and am now at season 8. I shake my head at all the known moments in the show that hellers claim are canon ship bs, because you’d have to be stretch Armstrong to reach that far..

But something did nag me. There were times that Cas WAS the emotional support for Dean where I really thought it should have been Sam conversing with him. For the majority of the series we saw Dean be the caretaker, emotional support etc for Sam, and it never really came from anyone else- lest he was being manipulated by some evil person. However there were many times where that wasn’t reciprocated on screen. Cas would almost stand in for Sam when Dean needed someone, showed Dean a lot of compassion. (Please believe I’m being objective and not a stan in hiding). I think THAT dynamic confused people. Why didn’t they have Sam having those convos with Dean more? I mean, narratively I understand the need for Cas to move the plot forward with his specific role, but so many times it was an angsty Dean who I think NEEDED his BROTHER more than a convo with Cas. Now there are people who just wanted to sexualize Jensen/Dean and couldn’t possibly be linked the wincest as their puritan sensibilities just wouldn’t allow them. But OTHER fans seemed to have latched on to the dynamic of Dean and Cas because they saw Dean have emotional moments with him.

Now during my rewatch it pissed me off, because I realized that the writers were making some conscious choices to have Sam NOT fill that role for Dean. Like it seemed like they went out of their way at times to make Sam seem more indifferent to Dean. This is why- wildly unpopular opinion here- I didn’t like Sera Gamble! I think she isolated Sam away from Dean and had Cas fill in for Sam. That codependent brother thing I LIVE FOR, was kinda washed out during her seasons (in my opinion), but more so from one side. I think she didn’t really like Dean, period, but whereas I know Sam fans LOVE Gamble, I think she mischaracterized Sam a lot.

In my mind, Sam is just as in love with Dean as Dean is with him (whether that be wincest or brotherly is up to your interpretation). You remember when Rowena started really having a relationship with Sam? And then Jack, too? That was really the first time we’ve seen Sam have that type of side character interaction depth. It’s why Sam fans love those two characters because they related to Sam! Well, isn’t that why Dean fans loved Cas, too?

I dunno I’m ranting and probably make no sense, but I was definitely annoyed with the writers in quite a bit if my rewatch during seasons 4-7 because it seemed such a purposeful choice to NOT show Sam being for Dean what they chose to show Cas being. I think knot blurred the lines and did such a disservice to Sam. Ironically, I think Carver rectified this a lot! Even with the angst and separation, Carver’s seasons demonstrably showed the codependency and intense brotherly love. I prefer seasons 1-3 and then all of Carver’s seasons!

I couldn't remember any instances of Dean leaning on Castiel when there wasn't some obvious reason it wasn't a conversation with Sam. So I went through season by season, and ultimately, I think you have to look at what the plot arc between the brothers is. As I've said before, the one thing that I actually like about Dabb as a showrunner is finally dropping the constant circling back to brother conflict drama that, to me at least, felt more and more artificial. Even if we're talking about seasons 4-7, we have to start at the beginning, because I think the first three seasons are pointedly bringing the brothers back together closer than ever in preparation for all the apocalypse shenanigans to attempt to tear them apart.

In terms of Dean opening up, specifically, consider what happens in those seasons between them from Dean's perspective.

In season four, he comes back from hell traumatized only to realize Sam has been lying to him about using his powers and working with Ruby. When he asks Sam to explain because he's scared of the powers, Sam refuses to talk about it and says he wouldn't understand (4x04). So how can it be a surprise that when he wants to talk in the next episode, it's Jamie the bartender he chooses instead? Is it really strange he basically mirrors what Sam said about Dean not being able to understand when Sam confronts him about what Uriel said regarding him remembering hell (4x08)? Castiel (4x07) and Anna (4x10) conversing with Dean are more about their own fears and insecurities more than Dean's. When Dean does finally open up and is ready to actually talk about what happened in hell, it is to Sam (4x11). Except, it's pretty soon after that (4x14) where Sam throws it back in his face under the influence of the siren, calling him a weak, whiny burden who is just holding Sam back. Can it really be a surprise then that, again, next time Dean opens up it's to Tessa (4x15)? And then, when the doubts are basically exactly what Sam said, i.e. that the apocalypse really is too big for him to deal with and he is scared, he says it to Castiel instead (4x16)? Which I think is only validated to Dean when Sam says the same kind of thing all over again without the siren's influence when they fight in 4x21. They're in conflict and being torn in opposite directions, which is kind of the point. Actually communicating – if they both weren't too stubborn to do it – would basically halt season 4's entire plot in its tracks.

Without making this post five miles long, those kinds of things happen again and again in 5-7, too. Sam is literally not there to talk to when he leaves at the beginning of the season, and they don't get back together because they've actually sorted out all the shit between them from the previous events, but because Sam has realized he can't get out and Dean doesn't trust that Sam will continue to say no to Lucifer if they're apart. So when Dean opens up, it's to his hallucination of a therapist instead of Sam. Blow after blow follows thereafter. What they see of Sam's heaven being an entire absence of Dean. Everyone leaving Dean to grieve at Lisa's for a year knowing Sam is back(ish) the whole time. Soulless!Sam's actions, which (as unfair as it might be) Dean clearly had trouble separating out from regular Sam's. Sam's sanity hanging on by a wall, then being plagued by Hallucifer. Similar big conflicts and obstacles to frank conversation continue on into seasons 8 and 9, too.

I think you can fairly go fifty layers deep into what's going on in both of their heads in any of those instances and see where they're coming from, but Dean isn't going to be doing that as the one living it. From his perspective? There are a lot of reasons to not open up to Sam because of what's going on in their lives and how they each feel about it. So sometimes he does open up to others – which includes Castiel.

I definitely remember way back when I was a multishipper that a lot of D/C shippers said they started shipping the ship because Castiel didn't have that fraught history with Dean that Sam does with all the conflicts and misunderstandings. That's fine (although IMO it hardly held true for very long). However, to me it seems like Dean is just as likely to turn to a stranger (or the hallucination of one) as he is to turn to Castiel instead of Sam, so I don't really see it as some huge thing in the canon that really justifies thinking the ship is anything but certain fans over-investing in what they particularly like. I also think that Sam was just less and less likely to open up to anyone at all as the series went on – but when he does, it was also often with Castiel or Jody or Charlie or Rowena instead of Dean. Because the season conflict didn't rely on them being unable to communicate effectively with those other characters and the judgement of those other characters couldn't do as much damage if it was negative.

None of that even gets into the whole other issue of the underlying dynamics carried over from their childhood which also plays into things. Where Dean still sees his primary purpose as protecting Sam as his little brother rather than always seeing him as a true partner. Where he has self-worth and abandonment issues that make him unable to understand why Sam would value him and not be able to just get over his death. Where Sam is not only all too aware that Dean doesn't value himself and gets frustrated with that? But has spent so long fighting against what everyone else wants from him that he still sometimes treats Dean as a substitute for authority instead of a partner and pushes back at any disagreement with his (not always as) brilliant (as he thinks) plans as “bossing him around”? Where he also gets very agitated whenever Dean is not okay because he needs Dean to be okay to the point he insistently tries to fix it by making Dean talk when Dean isn't ready to. In short, they both have huge underlying issues that skew how they see each other and they're both stubborn as hell.

Then when you add on top of that how the writers had such a tendency to revolve the action arcs around Sam and the emotional ones around Dean as the viewpoint character that Sam's emotions and thoughts often seem like a mysterious locked box through large parts of the series? I do get why some fans can read that as Sam being indifferent to Dean, but I don't think that's the underlying intention or the case. Because of that focus choice, to a large extent we only see how badly Sam needs Dean when there's a threat of Dean not being there or Dean is taken away – but I would argue that we do really see it then. From not caring about Marshall Hall to wanting to try Doc Benton's solution to trying to suicide by demon to initially allowing himself to be manipulated by Ruby to taking on his Cage memories to the Rowena and Oskar debacle to how his montage life was entirely blurry except for his son and his grief over Dean.

I LOVE YOU BEE! I LOVE YOUR SUPERNATURAL FANART!!!

Please delete if you aren't interested but would you take prompts 😬 Dean is a very protective older brother and i vaguely remember an episode where he goes apeshit when sam is bullied back when they were kids (and then something similar happens in that episode). Dean is so so angry and sam is just like <i am baby 🥺> and they are very cute 😩😭

You continue to light my dash AND LIFE with just your existence thank you thank you thank you 😘😘😘

My dear @l0vegl0wsinthedark !!! Sorry it took me months to answer but I just couldn‘t think of a good scenario! Hope you enjoy this one ✨🌻

Thanks for sticking with me through the years and fandoms 🫶

On this note: Thank all of you, who send nice asks and messages and reblog my stuff with hilarious and relatable tags I really appreciate every single one 💚 (super sorry I’m so slow at answering) but I hope I can brighten some days from time to time as much as your support brightens mine on a regular basis!

Have a fantastic week guys 💚🌻

Self-righteous people are the same everywhere, I guess, no matter what they are self righteous about.

Can we talk about how a seriously concerning number of people are drawn to social justice not out of the goodness of their hearts but because there are prevalent circles within the social justice community that actively reward and encourage behavior that is nearly indiscernible from bullying and harassment with reassurance that it's the 'right and just' kind?

color palette meme | @queenabvddon asked for contained anger + Dean Winchester

in my mind a huge part of sam and dean’s dynamic at the beginning of season one is like.

dean is so terrified that sam doesn’t need him anymore. yes, he came back, but he’s grown up and he’s seen so much more of the world and he’s smart and self-sufficient, and so even though he’s with dean, dean feels basically useless as a protector/caretaker, the role he played his entire life, the only one he knows, and it’s now no longer really needed. so he handles that (poorly) by overcompensating to an EXTREME degree. like being even more of a helicopter parent, not letting sam go anywhere alone, checking on him all the time, etc etc.

then finally sam explodes on him, because he’s not a kid and dean doesn’t need to worry about him anymore.

and dean is soooo offended by that because like. how do you not KNOW, sam. if you think there’s a single universe where i don’t worry about you every waking moment of my life then you don’t know me at all.

and sam metabolizes that as, i’m a burden, i’m sorry for being such a fucking burden, i’m sorry you feel so stifled by having to take care of me.

and they never talk about any of this by the way. so it just becomes a never ending cycle of he doesn’t need me anymore // i’m such a burden to him on and on and on

At a loss for words from thinking of losing one another. (2x22 // 10x18)

His absolute disbelief and hurt that Dean backs away (even if not willingly) when he is hurt

Supernatural - 2.09 Croatoan

Gencest Fic Rec

Mostly oneshots because that's what I tend to read.

A Big Fake Hunter Wedding by Alyndra: humor/crack, case fic in which Sam and Dean get platonically married

acta non verba by laertez: 13x22 episode tag, Dean cleans the blood off Sam

a few things worth saying by hathfrozen: S10 AU, queerplatonic Sam and Dean, platonic kissing

An Irrevocable Condition by remy (iamremy): 4x21 CD, Dean doesn't leave Sam alone in the panic room

a hopeless violence [i named it love] by kanicro: S9 AU, instead of having an angel possess Sam, Dean gives him demon blood to save him

Aleph by story_monger: S4 AU, by the time the angels get Dean out of hell, he's already a demon.

And All She Saw Was Love by stillwaters01: S7 CD, death fic

Brother's Blood by diana_lucifera, stormageddon: Pilot AU, Dean is the one going missing on a hunt so John get Sam from Stanford | first part of a series, future parts wincest slow burn but this one is gen

cat crazed by altered: vaguely late seasons, Sam turns into a catboy, schmoop

Disney Princess Hair by Dyed_Red: Sam gets hit with a sleeping beauty curse, fluff

From me to you by EternalSheWolf: the epic love story of Sam and Dean in snapshots

Ghost in the Machine by phoenixflight: 15x20 coda, Dean sticks around as ghost until Sam burns his body

golgotha by redskyatmorning: S14 CD, Sam becomes the boyking to save Dean from Michael

Growing Darkness Taking Dawn by lightning and a lightning bug (spoons): S4, angst, hurt Sam

happier by altered: S10 AU, with a demon Dean who is obsessed with Sam

if you bite it, you own it by altered: weirdcest, non-sexual kink (biting)

it's not somebody who's seen the light by The_Bookkeeper: AU, Dean is the one with demon blood

I would like to watch you, sleeping by redmyeyes: S1, Dean watches Sam

Less Than Dirt. by ulexite: pre-series + S1, CD, case fic

Marked for Death by aceofhearts61, juba (jubah): post 15x19, Amara sends Sam and Dean on a trip of sorts to resolve their issues

Morning As They Come Down by kirathehyrulian, scippy: post 15x19, fluff

One Question Less by stardust_made: 8x23 coda

patchwork scars by altered: weirdcest, non-sexual kink (biting, painplay)

peace and unquiet by altered: weirdcest, non-sexual kink (hair pulling)

Premonition by cherie_morte: post 15x19, case fic

romeo and juliet are together in eternity (we can be like them) by saintsamantha: vaguely season 2, transfem Sam

so let it out and let it in by nowhere_blake: 12x02 coda, Mary POV

Sounds Like Truth and Feels Like Courage by sprinkles888: late seasons, queerplatonic Sam and Dean | Sam discovers the MoL found a way to utilize soul magic, platonic cuddling ensues amongst other things

stargazing by allforsammy: 8x23 coda, voicemail fix-it

stone number one by iamremy: 15x17 coda

with my pulse on your lips by altered: S10 AU, the demon!Dean we deserved, feeding Sam his blood