It Can Be Hard To Leave A Toxic Environment, But You Deserve To Be Safe.

i was already chewing this over but i got some reblogs that made me consider saying my opinion out loud. to be direct: applying the dynamics of identity based politics towards disability is a far inferior social analysis than treating disability as a class [and gaining some class consciousness]

social analysis benefits from zooming out from time to time otherwise we risk focusing too much on the individual when society and culture is about groups of people.

i don't dislike discussions around identity in regards to social analysis. there's many instances where it's worthwhile. although i feel like the strength of any analysis of the sort would be linking the individual (identity) to the collective (social status). the categories that make up "identity" are made relevant by the social, cultural, and material conditions which brought them into existence. for example i am mixed race and may identify as such. but the existence of this label hinges on the global understanding and categorization of race, and that which separates white people from brown people.

in this sense when you make disabilities about identity, it sort of levels everyone into "disabled" or "not disabled" instead of looking at disability as something belonging to a class of disenfranchised people. which is why i think people get threatened by the idea that there are heavily disabled people, because they feel like it's shifting the cornerstones of the criteria for "disabled" away from them and taking that "identity" away. i also think this is why intra-community disagreements end up becoming so personal: because of the notion that someone disagreeing with you, a disabled person, on disability, is an invalidation of your legitimate claim to the disabled identity. instead of what it usually is - a difference of opinions based on either different experiences, levels of knowledge, locations, or so forth

furthermore there are people with health conditions that are not disabling. it may disadvantage them in some situations, but it largely doesn't exclude them from abled society. there are also people who are usually abled, but currently have an injury. most people i talk to would agree that they are not disabled. i think both of these groups might have overlapping experiences with the disabled community. but if you centre disability on identity, and having the experiences to justify that identity, then people with health conditions are forced to frame them as a disability to be listened to, and disabled people often dislike their experiences being related to by someone who was injured for a few months.

i think this is what leads to conflicting ideas, loopholes, and arguements. i think it is fine to say that a person who had to use crutches for 3 months will have some knowledge on the experience of using crutches. but they are not disabled like me, a full time crutch user - not because we don't share experiences (we might do!) but because our relationship to abled society, and our social status as people are different. being disabled disenfranchises you legally, socially, academically, economically, culturally, and religiously even. this makes up a large part of the disabled class experience, even though some people who are not disabled may relate to us in symptoms, and even if two people who are disabled have no common symptoms!

finally if you consider disabled people as a class then you can rightly call ableist disabled people what they are: class traitors

Today is a wonderful day to remember that resting, taking care of yourself, and allowing yourself to become re-inspired and re-invigorated, is a vital and necessary part of the creative process!

At some point in your life, you were taught that being slightly annoying is an unforgivable sin. Maybe it was by your parents or a teacher or a friend or a bully or an older sibling. But someone taught you that being slightly annoying is a crime punishable by death.

You must unlearn this.

You must accept that all people will be annoying at some point or another in their lives, maybe all of their lives, and that this is okay. It is okay for strangers on the bus, it is okay for children in the grocery store, it is okay for people on social media, and it is okay for you.

If you ever want to truly love your fellow humans, if you ever want to truly love yourself, you must have forgiveness for being annoying.

The lack of agreement across brands on what “extra firm tofu” is is, in fact, very high on my list of unimportant problems.

remember: don't chase the pain. if you're lucky enough to have access to an adequate supply of painkillers, use them early. if your pain is episodic, not continuous, hit the pain as soon as you notice it and your chances of avoiding a bad episode improve.

if you wait around to see if it gets 'bad enough' for painkillers, you're more likely to end up in a lot of pain that's difficult to control.

the tricky part is, if you do it right, it feels like you did it wrong. because if you catch the pain early before it gets bad, it often feels like 'it never got that bad so maybe i didn't need the medication.'

but it didn't get that bad BECAUSE of the medication! you did it right. it's okay to use the tools at your disposal. fuck the stigma.

Two job-hunting resources that changed my life:

This cover letter post on askamanger.com. A job interview guide written by Alison Green, who runs askamanager.

Imagine if you met someone who can't eat watermelon. Not that they're allergic or unable somehow, but they just haven't figured out how to do that. So you're like "what the hell do you mean? it works just like eating anything else, you open your mouth, sink your teeth in, take a bite and chew. If you can bite, chew and swallow, you should be able to eat a watermelon."

And they agree that yes, they do know how to eat, in theory. The problem is the watermelon. Surely, if they figured out where to start, they'd figure out how to do it, but they have no clue how to get started with it.

This goes back and forth. No, it's not an emotional issue, they're not afraid of the watermelon. They can eat any other fruit, other sweet things, and other watery things ("it's watery?" they ask you). Is it the colour? Do they have a problem eating things that are green on the outside and red on the inside?

"It's red on the inside?"

Wait, they've never seen the inside? At this point you have to ask them how, exactly, they eat the watermelon. So to demonstrate, they take a whole, round, uncut watermelon, and try to bite straight into it. Even if they could bite through the crust, there's no way to get human jaws around it.

"Oh, you're supposed to cut it first. You cut the crust open and only chew through the insides."

And they had no idea. All their life this person has had no idea how to eat a watermelon, despite of being told again and again and again that it's easy, it's ridiculous to struggle with something so simple, there's no way that someone just can't eat a watermelon, how can you even mange to be bad at something as fucking simple as eating watermelon.

If someone can't do something after being repeatedly told to "just do it", there might be some key component missing that one side has no idea about, and the other side assumed was so obvious it goes without mention.

a whole bunch of links for a bad day

serotonin

2048

control the weather (flash warning)

spend bill gates’ money

read a book

write without distractions

snickerdoodle mug cakes

recipes for when you’re low on spoons

khan academy

an aggressive reminder

1000 awesome everyday things

make a picrew of a worm on a string

bongo cat

useless websites

emergency compliments

a nice uquiz

more useless websites

sketch comedy

sculpt something

guess google searches

white noise

rain

customizable

coffee shop

thunderstorm + fireplace

rain on a tin roof

rain + traffic

train sounds

a fan

catharsis

scream into the void

cut your screen (trigger warning)

break glass

self-care

inexpensive self-care

small acts of self-care

develop a self-care plan

do nothing for two minutes

cope with:

common sleep problems (+solutions)

nightmares

stress

stress 2

are you stressed or depressed?

homework stress

an eating disorder

things to do instead of harming yourself

trauma

anger

worrying

grief

a breakup

the suicide of a loved one

bullying

is this relationship harmful?

sexual assault

obsessive-compulsive disorder

obsessive-compulsive disorder 2

suicidal thoughts

help

a whole bunch of hotlines

more hotlines

suicide hotlines

talk to someone

active positivity blogs

@positivityreblogs

@positivitie

@recoverystuff

@survivor-positivity

@ocdiscourse

@positivelypastelpink

@positiveautistic

@mental–healthawareness

@slfcare

@traumasurvivors

@softheartedsuggestion

remember:

drink some water

eat something if you haven’t in a while

take a break

sleep if you need to

you’re doing amazing i love you