Resources-and-reminders - Resources

i’m so tired of people around being being tiktokified and instagrammable and aggressively beauty and anti-ageing focussed “i need glass skin” “i need to purge my cortisol” “i have toxic estrogen levels” “i need a 16 step shower routine” “i need a 2k face light mask” “i need to only eat grass fed organic pure octopus from the slopes of the Andes” you NEED to be hobbymaxxing actually.

Activism is not cold-calling.

Activism is not cold-calling, and this is critically important to understand.

I'm seeing a lot of posts on here about 'building bridges' and 'finding community,' and then (extremely valid) response posts saying "BUT HOW??" And I'm going to explain something that can be very counter-intuitive: there is strategy involved in community.

As a longtime volunteer labour organizer, I’ve taken and taught many trainings on the strategy of talking. Something that surprises a lot of people is the very first thing you do in a union campaign. You sit down with your organizing committee, take out pen and paper, and literally map it out. You draw a physical map of the workplace: where are the entrances, exits, break rooms, supervisor offices. Essentially, ‘where is it safe to have a union conversation.’ Then you draw another physical chart of your coworkers. You sort out who is union-friendly, openly hostile to unions, or somewhere in the middle, and then you plan out very deliberately and carefully who talks to whom and in what order.

Consider: If Vocally Leftist Jane walks up to Conservative David and says "hey what do you think about unions," David is going to shut down immediately. He's not inclined to listen to Jane. But if Jane talks to Moderate Jason and brings him into the fold, then Jason is a far more effective strategic choice to talk to David, and David may actually hear him out without an instant reaction.

IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If Conservative David turns out to be Alt-Right David, and could be dangerous to follow organizers, we write him off. We are not trying to reach Alt-Right David. We are trying to reach Conservative David, who may actually be persuaded to find solidarity with other employees as fellow workers. Jason is a safe scout to find out which one he is. It does no one any good if Leftist Jane (or even Moderate Jane who is a visible minority) talks to Alt-Right David and puts herself on his radar. Not only has she done nothing to convince Alt-Right David to join a union - she's probably actively turned him against the idea - but now she's also in danger and the entire campaign is at risk. NOBODY WANTS THIS. Jane was NOT a hero for doing this. The organizing committee was foolish and enacted a terrible strategy to everyone's detriment.

Where you can make a difference is with people who will listen to you. You having a conversation with your well-meaning but clueless Centrist Democrat Auntie, and maybe gently helping her understand some things the media has been glossing over, is way more strategically useful than you marching up to MAGA Neighbour You've Met Once and trying to "build community" or "understand" them. They don't care. They're impervious, dangerous, and cruel. But maybe your beloved auntie will think about what you said, and then talk to her friend Anna who IDs as "fiscally conservative" but didn't vote because she can't bring herself to get on board with Trump. Then perhaps Anna talks to her brother Nic who has MAGA leanings but isn't all the way there yet. Proto-MAGA Nic would not have listened to you, nor would he have listened to Centrist Democrat Auntie, but he might absorb some of what his sister is saying.

This is not a cop-out or an echo chamber. This is you spending your time and energy strategically and safely. You are not a useful activist to anyone if you’re dead. Anyone who is telling you to hurl yourself directly at MAGA assholes like cannon fodder has no understanding of the strategy behind community building, and you should feel comfortable writing them off.

Last point: If you are tired, emotionally devastated, and/or in danger: take a break. This post is for people who would feel better jumping into action, not for people who are too overwhelmed to even think about it right now. You are worth so much even if you’re not actively Doing Activism, and your rest is worth more than “a break period so you can recharge and Do More Activism.” We all deserve the individual dignity of being worthy of comfort, rest & safety just on the basis of being human, outside of whatever we're doing for others' benefit. To deny ourselves that dignity is to devalue ourselves, and that’s the absolute last thing any of us should be doing right now.

“all that matters is that u tried ur best”

me: *instantly flashes back to every moment i procrastinated and wasted*

me: ha hah haahah…… ….. yeah…….. my best……. that is the thing i totally did

struggling in ed recovery?

pt. 2 here

your weight does not define you. let me say it again, your weight does not define you. if you're saying something different, nope. it does not. next thing.

the food you eat does not have any moral value. eating a pizza does not make you a bad person. eating a salad does not make you a good person. it's food, it has no moral value at all, whatsoever. you're the same person regardless of if you eat cake or fruit for a snack.

not fitting into your clothes does not make you a failure. (if you have a recovery where you're losing weight- per doctor's orders, etc.- your old clothes being too big does not mean past you was a failure.) so if you need to go buy new clothes because your old stuff is either too small or too big, that does not hold any kind of personal value, okay? they're clothes, they're meant to fit our bodies, we are not meant to fit into them.

if someone has said something to you about the way you look now, please just know that they are most likely uneducated about eds and are (hopefully) not meaning to hurt your feelings. that said, correct them if you want to, but also know that it is not your job to do so if you don't want to.

going off that last point, I was taught by my recovery team that it is very important to set boundaries with anyone who may make a comment on what you're eating or how you look. for example, you could say, "hey, I'm in recovery from something (you don't have to be specific if it makes you uncomfortable) and I would really appreciate it if you didn't say anything to me about my body or what I'm eating." or "I'm not really comfortable talking about that, can we change the subject?" and anything else you may want to say.

satisfy your cravings. craving ice cream is not bad. if your body is telling you that it wants ice cream, eat some ice cream. in recovery you need to establish with your mind and body that you can now eat without restrictions, and should allow yourself whatever you're craving.

and lastly, I wish someone would have said this to me: eat whatever you want. literally, I mean it. your body is going through a confusing time, and even if you've been in recovery for months, it still could think you're going to go back to your old habits. so enjoy what you eat. :)

as always, if you need to talk, you can send me an ask or message me <3

Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are.

St. Augustine of Hippo

does anyone know if i can like block sites from appearing in my google images searches??? i keep getting those awful ai generated things with a hand coming out of a man's neck and just straight up not what i was looking for, because this was in a search for "curly hair in medieval paintings". it happens every time i search for anything vaguely art-reference-like and it's so fucking annoying and it clutters my search results so much. i don't wanna add specific commands to the query every time too, what i need is like a browser extension or something

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

My father always told me: "If you want to go for a run, go for a run, don't look for company. Sooner or later, on your fifth run or your twentieth, like-minded people will find you themselves." And only recently have I realized that this principle works everywhere.