Struggling In Ed Recovery?

THINGS I NEED TO FUCKING KNOW: Why every fuckin trans man or nb person I know who binds is like “oh binders are the worst, you can’t breathe in them, I know someone who broke a rib once”,

And meanwhile over in historical costuming, we are fucking eating, sleeping, swordfighting, riding horses, and feeling great like this:

(credit: Jenny La Flamme, The Tudor Tailor, Verdaera)

Like is there NO overlap between people who want to bind and people who care about accurate 16th century clothing reconstruction techniques?

(I, okay, maybe it is kind of a niche interest, but…. REALLY? Anyone who’s made a boned binder, PLS SPEAK TO ME)

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Things to say to abusers to block their attacks/lies/gaslighting/manipulation

This decision will affect me more than you, so I get to decide.

It’s not your call.

I think it’s been enough of me suffering the consequences of your decisions.

I’m not obliged to answer those questions.

You don’t have the right to say that to me.

Stop lying.

Not even you believe that.

We both know the truth.

Now why would you say such a thing to me?

That is not a thing you should be saying to someone you pretend to love.

You saying it over and over again doesn’t make it true.

You know you’re lying.

Sounds like whatever is convenient to you is always the truth huh?

You don’t have the right to demand this information.

Would it kill you to stop talking to me in this manner?

Is it hard to not insult people around you?

Who do you think you’re talking to?

We’re going to talk when you can adress me as a person.

Based on your track record, you don’t seem to know me that well.

And you know this because?

Oh yeah you really, really took in all the evidence before making that claim.

You expect me to believe that?

Evidently you’re too much of a liar to be taken seriously.

How about we focus on what you did wrong for a change?

Don’t expect forgiveness from me.

(I understand you can’t get away with most of this most of the time but here’s to dreaming)

i know we joke about cis artists having the weirdest sense of anatomy, but also even when the anatomy is fine, no one seems to want to draw women doing normal things

From the book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD:

Putting a coat on the back of a chair by the door is fine, but if you prefer, use coat hooks and a large catch-all basket for dropping keys, hats, gloves.

Small bookcase end-table next to the couch to store craft projects, books, and other things being worked on for easy access.

Add a storage unit near the dining room table to transition between eating and working there.

Daily toiletry items should be stored in a basket that you can move easily

Extra toiletries and medicine cabinet items go in open shelf/basket storage so they can be seen and used easily. If items no longer fit, purge the excess. Don’t obscure the view!

If you disrobe in the bathroom, place a tall hamper in there.

Keep a set of cleaning supplies in each bathroom

Advice I gave someone today was: 'do it stupid.'

She wants to learn photography. Do it stupid. Take a million photos. Don't think about why they're not good. Enjoy the process of taking photos.

Pick out tge ones you like the most and figure out why you like them. Is it because the subject is centered? Is it because you caught them doing something cool? Is it because the light made cool shadows?

Do it stupid. If you try to do it smart, youll get stuck. If you think too much you'll never get to doing. Do it stupid.

In the age of automation and artificial intelligences, I suspect people would rather change 1 & 2 to a universal basic income and a 20 hour work week, but it certainly is a start.

beep beep sometimes when you have been in survival mode for a long time the parts of you dedicated to Wanting Things atrophy and you forget how to envision a future that feels rewarding because you are busy with the business of staying alive, and it can seem like your life must be pointless because you can’t imagine any long term goals. sometimes even when you leave survival mode you can’t remember how to Want Things. that doesn’t mean you need to give up on having a good and fulfilling life, it just means that Wanting Things is a muscle you need to gradually strengthen. the part of you that has dreams and aspirations is still there, it just fell asleep, but if you wiggle it enough it can and will regain feeling. it’s okay to start small

It is okay to prioritize yourself and to avoid things that aren't yours to fix. It is okay to feel overwhelmed and to reorganize your life in a way that suits you best. It will be okay if you stop carrying everyone else's baggage. It will be okay if you take the weight of the world off your shoulders. These are not your responsibility. You are truly responsible for your well-being and recovery. Put them in first place.

It's not rest if you are spending it feeling guilty for not being productive. It's not rest if the whole time you feel ashamed for not doing chores. This is how you burn yourself out. You're allowed to relax and do nothing.