Hey All, Covid Season Is About To Really Ramp Up - So Here's A Few Things You Might Not Be Doing That

I was thinking about something earlier: being sensitive can be hard and overwhelming when most emotions you’re feeling are negative and cause suffering. But then I cried for hours listening to live music today, my soul was moved, my heart felt so much for all that beautiful music, for all that talent, for all those people involved in making this music and this concert, and I was with people I love. Everyone left the concert in awe. I felt such bliss. And honestly, being sensitive is hard, and like anything in life, it is something that one needs to learn how to live with, to find balance within it.

I’m soft, I cry easily, I feel whenever I see someone suffering, I care a lot. But sometimes I get to see so much beauty and I get to cry happy tears and think about my loved ones, and to be grateful to be alive and experiencing so much. I must allow myself to. Life itself feels like a gift these days, and allowing myself to just be me is only fair, and now restraining myself based on “what will people think if they see me cry” seems so silly. Who cares?

I’m experiencing life, this is my first and only time in this world, it’s a finite experience, and I’m not spending it ashamed of being moved by the world around me. It means this world becomes a part of me when I perceive it by the way it moves me, and I become a part of it by living life in an authentic way, without so much fear of being judged for caring a lot. What a great thing it is to exist and experience so much!

not speaking from experience, but you should address and communicate when u feel unheard or betrayed in ur relationships instead of becoming contemptuous and using that contempt to annihilate any connection u had with them like some kind of nuclear core meltdown powered by trauma instead of uranium.

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

Biggest reframe of my artistic life was when somebody pointed out that putting down your own work in front of people who enjoy it is tantamount to insulting those people’s taste. Knocked the self deprecation right out of me

[Trying again is so very brave.]

You have to remind yourself “I did nothing to deserve any of that.” every once in a while to keep that guilt down and rage up.

the coolest people are actually weird and fucked up and strange and peculiar and they just dont care. the coolest people are actually lame as hell and they rock it. this is what ive learned

it's ambedkar jayanti and here's a reminder that the annihilation of caste is available freely in most places on the internet including archive.org (you can do text-to-speech if you prefer listening) and youtube (as an audiobook in hindi, english, tamil, and other languages). pdfs and epub versions are available on library genesis. if you live in a western country im sure your local library has it too. so you really have no excuse for not having read it especially if you're an indian/person of indian ancestry.

Hey kids here's a piece of actual for real experienced adult advice: don't make songs you like your alarm. Ever. You're gonna Pavlov yourself into hating it or sleep through it and have weird dreams. Don't do that to yourself. Seriously.

struggling in ed recovery?

pt. 2 here

your weight does not define you. let me say it again, your weight does not define you. if you're saying something different, nope. it does not. next thing.

the food you eat does not have any moral value. eating a pizza does not make you a bad person. eating a salad does not make you a good person. it's food, it has no moral value at all, whatsoever. you're the same person regardless of if you eat cake or fruit for a snack.

not fitting into your clothes does not make you a failure. (if you have a recovery where you're losing weight- per doctor's orders, etc.- your old clothes being too big does not mean past you was a failure.) so if you need to go buy new clothes because your old stuff is either too small or too big, that does not hold any kind of personal value, okay? they're clothes, they're meant to fit our bodies, we are not meant to fit into them.

if someone has said something to you about the way you look now, please just know that they are most likely uneducated about eds and are (hopefully) not meaning to hurt your feelings. that said, correct them if you want to, but also know that it is not your job to do so if you don't want to.

going off that last point, I was taught by my recovery team that it is very important to set boundaries with anyone who may make a comment on what you're eating or how you look. for example, you could say, "hey, I'm in recovery from something (you don't have to be specific if it makes you uncomfortable) and I would really appreciate it if you didn't say anything to me about my body or what I'm eating." or "I'm not really comfortable talking about that, can we change the subject?" and anything else you may want to say.

satisfy your cravings. craving ice cream is not bad. if your body is telling you that it wants ice cream, eat some ice cream. in recovery you need to establish with your mind and body that you can now eat without restrictions, and should allow yourself whatever you're craving.

and lastly, I wish someone would have said this to me: eat whatever you want. literally, I mean it. your body is going through a confusing time, and even if you've been in recovery for months, it still could think you're going to go back to your old habits. so enjoy what you eat. :)

as always, if you need to talk, you can send me an ask or message me <3