You Have To Remind Yourself “I Did Nothing To Deserve Any Of That.” Every Once In A While To Keep

It's so weird talking to people who's view of "here's the way life is for everyone" is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you'll say you'll have a problem and instead of helping you they'll argue with you about how you're not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I'm really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn't do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don't have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you're in, and different volunteer work you've done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don't have things that I can use. Also, I'm in my mid 20s so I don't know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you're a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you've worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I'm not looking for suggests of things I've already done, I'm looking for what I can do now if I haven't done anything.

Them: There's no way you didn't do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who's also disabled and they're like "Here's a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don't pay much but look good on a resume, here's some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here's how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here's some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn't tell them about unless you need accommodations."

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

Hey btw, here's a piece of life advice:

If you know what you'd have to do to solve a problem, but you just don't want to do it, your main problem isn't the problem itself. Your problem is figuring out how to get yourself to do the solution.

If your problem is not eating enough vegetables, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make vegetables stop being yucky". If your problem is not getting enough exercise, the problem you should be solving is "how do I make exercise stop sucking ass". You're not supposed to just be doing things that are awful and suck all the time forever, you're supposed to figure out how to make it stop being so awful all the time.

I used to hate wearing sunscreen because it's sticky and slimy and disgusting and it feels bad and it smells bad, so I neglected to wear it even if I needed to. Then I found one that isn't like that, and doesn't smell and feel gross. Problem solved.

There is no correct way to live that's just supposed to suck and feel bad all the time. You're allowed to figure out how to make it not suck so bad.

Getting a weird little hobby is actually so important bc it opens your eyes up to the world. You start crocheting or knitting, and now you see scarves and sweaters differently. You try identifying plants, now you’re seeing opposite and alternate leaf pattern. Bird watching? Every chirp draws attention and interest.

Get into weird little hobbies.

today i got locked out of watching youtube videos entirely on adblock grounds, so i did some tinkering.

ublock does not, in fact, seem to circumvent this, but i did find out something new through circumstance as well as trial and error:

bf told me two bits of information that turned out to be rather useful. 1) he hasn't really gotten the youtube adblock notifications much. 2) his work laptop blocks youtube cookies completely. (this annoys him a bit because a couple quality of life features function off cookies)

so when i was trying to troubleshoot how to wrangle youtube into letting me listen to music without constantly throwing intrusive as hell ads at me, i decided to block youtube cookies just to see what would happen.

well wouldn't you know, it has stopped complaining about ads being blocked entirely. for now anyway.

TL;DR: looks like youtube is using cookies to check for adblockers, so blocking them seems to cause it to leave you alone.

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

One of the cool things about getting older that would have seemed bad to my younger self is you know that feeling when you meet someone and you immediately click and are just on the same wavelength… the first time that happens when you’re in like grade school it’s like soo crazy and the first time you date someone like that it’s like whoa okay. But the more you move around and travel and play and explore in life these people will keep popping up. You’ll feel comfortable around them like you’ve known them forever but it won’t be like this desperate once in a lifetime feeling you need to hold onto because you’re like cool it’s happening again. I always heard it was harder to form new connections when you’re older but for me it’s continually gotten easier bc I know myself, respect my own time and naturally gravitate towards ppl who energize me

King Arthur Baking

Tips for baking with arthritis and other hand-related chronic pain

With some changes to techniques, a careful selection of kitchen tools, and tips from fellow bakers, the joy of baking can live on.

I luckily haven't had to deal with much chronic pain or hand pain yet, especially with regards to baking (crochet is another story). That said, these look like some pretty solid tips! There's also some in the comments section.

next specialist to refuse testing or blame my maladies on my anxiety or weight despite me asking (begging, at this point) for further testing/a differential diagnosis is getting hit with the "document your refusal in my chart." no i am not "taking it one step at a time" no i am not accepting "you're just anxious" or "you're just overweight" as an answer. you are going to be a FUCKING DOCTOR and treat me. fuck you.

this is ok to reblog btw, i Encourage people in similar situations to express their anger. you deserve better we all fucking deserve better. no more being afraid of making them upset or angry. THEY make us suffer and want to die with their negligence. whatever discomfort we bring them by demanding documentation doesnt mean SHIT compared to what we go through.

rise up my disabled siblings, we have nothing to lose but a shitty fucking doctor.

“be stubborn about your goals but flexible about your methods.” the best advice I’ve ever received.