I Know I'm Unlovable, I Just Sometimes Like To Pretend That I'm Not

- Hello, good morning! How did you sleep?

- Oh, hi! I didn't sleep!

💖

Thoughts on Edmund Kemper?

also one of my fav cases! this is one of my all time fav true crime quotes:

horribly insecure and would probably be an incel if he were at his age when he went on his killing spree today; extremely arrogant and narcissistic, intelligent and manipulative at the same time (i cant believe he was engaged once) 

conducted some of the best true crime interviews of all time, and was extremely insightful even if he gives himself too much credit and loves to hear himself talk, they’re still prolific interviews and he managed to get profilers to like him and i think he really wanted to be liked

awful childhood with an abusive mother who had serious mental illness; rejection from his father in adolescence severely affected his emotional state, and he carried his admiration for his father into his adulthood but never received the love he should’ve gotten from either parent

it’s crazy that clarnell predicted that he would kill his grandparents

plagued with homicidal and sexually sadistic thoughts as a kid from an extremely young age

his crimes seem pretty easy to understand to me, a lot of it had to do with his mother as well as everything mentioned above but they’re still fascinating imo

i think him turning himself in wasn’t for nobility like he claims, but moreso because he knew hed eventually get cornered

the mutilation and his obsession with having trophies of his victims is sickening and really disturbing

he reminds me of my ex and his mother actually, she has bpd and was abusive to both me and my ex,,,, and he was abusive to me (and sometimes her) and it was awful staying there. i wont be surprised if he finally snaps one day and kills her tbh forreal

he talked like an old man too and called his homicidal tendencies his “little zapples”

too tall for his own good!!

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Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

Autism Myth-Busting Part 2

[Part 1]

1. Autistic people are violent: Autistics are more likely to be on the receiving end of violence and abuse than their neurotypical counterparts. 

2. All autistics are non-verbal: Only 25-30% of autistic people are considered non-verbal. Some autistics are hyper-verbal and/or possess advanced language skills. 

3. All autistics are good at math or science: Only 10% of autistic people have a savant skill. Many autistics aren’t particularly good at math at all. Although they may have certain skills or traits that are well suited for math and science, autistics can have interests or talents in any field. 

4. Autistic people are asexual: Here are some videos discussing autism and sexuality:   Autism & Sex Autism & Sexuality 

5. People can “outgrow” their autism:  Autism is a permanent genetic condition. More accurately, it is a neurotype. Someone who is autistic always will be, so autistic kids turn into autistic adults.

6. Autistic people can’t lie: Autistics may have a tendency to be more honest than neurotypicals, but they can definitely lie. I couldn’t find research on this one that isn’t terribly ableist, so I’ll just say this - I’m autistic and I can lie if I want to. 

7. Functioning labels are an accurate way to describe autistics:  Functioning labels are highly inaccurate for multiple reasons. Functioning can fluctuate on a day-to-day basis for many autistics. These labels are also used to invalidate autistic people by assuming that if they are low functioning they cannot make decisions for themselves, and to deny support for those who are high functioning. 

8. Autistic people can’t have healthy relationships: Autism In Love is a documentary that discusses autistic relationships. Over 32% of autistic adults are in relationships. I myself am autistic and married.

9. All autistics have a great memory:  Autistic people can have both memory strengths and memory difficulties. They may also have a working memory that’s entirely average. 

10. Asperger’s isn’t a type of autism:  As of 2013, the DSM considers Asperger’s and autism to be the same diagnosis, both falling under the category of ASD. 

sometimes I just get so sick and tired of fighting just to survive.

Coraline (2009), dir. Henry Selick.

“The ‘O’ in ‘Welcome home’ on the cake has double loops in it. According to Graphology, the double looped lowercase o implies that the person writing it is a liar.”

I still catch myself thinking things like “but at least I wasn’t homeless” and “at least I wasn’t parentless” when I think about my abusive childhood. But then there’s voice inside of my head, reminding me. 

“Hey, you lived terrified of being thrown out on the street and left to starve to death. You were reminded almost every day that you are going to be abandoned and left for dead unless you do everything you’re told, and be useful enough to keep alive. Remember when you were 14 and you spend entire day painting and re-painting a wooden garage, and you were crying entire time? Nobody even looked at you. You weren’t allowed to stop, and you weren’t allowed to cry out loud. It was just silent tears all day. You had to do it if you wanted to live. And it was like that every day, no matter if you were sick, wounded, upset, dying inside - you had to work if you wanted to deserve to eat. You watched this family be family without you, how many times were you crying silently just listening them all laugh in the living room, having a good time, and you couldn’t join because they would all start insulting you and glaring at you if you did? You watched your mom hug your siblings and she wouldn’t hug you. You were convinced day after day that you were lazy, worthless, vermin and a burden on everyone around you. You were beaten, slapped, threatened, screamed at, insulted, attacked and picked up by your hair when someone wanted to take their anger out on you. You were scared of getting killed by violence, because you knew if they killed you, they would all say you deserved it, and were asking for it. Like they always did after hurting you. You were denied privacy, resources, safety and freedom. You were sexually abused at the age of 7. Nobody cared.  You started having panic attacks at the age of 16. Nobody cared. They all knew you were cutting yourself by the time you went to high school. They laughed at you.  And the worst is, you cared. You cared about all of them. You would never do anything to hurt or damage any of them. You were there for anything they needed. You were betrayed and kept in this state by those you loved. Your heart was so heavy - and still is, you feel physical pain in it for the most of time. You have ptsd now. You can’t work. You can’t even look at yourself and examine the damage done to you because it’s too much of a shock and you can’t endure the pain of knowing it. I don’t think it actually gets that much worse than that. You don’t have to compare it to anything.”