I Still Catch Myself Thinking Things Like “but At Least I Wasn’t Homeless” And “at Least I Wasn’t

The Borderline Personality Disorder Checklist

This is a checklist to help one understand Borderline Personality Disorder. One may use it to self-diagnose or as a worksheet to present to a doctor or therapist  or other medical professional and better communicate symptoms they are experiencing. All information is taken from the DSM-5.

Section I Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have identity problems, including: I have an unstable sense of identity, I have poor self-esteem and excessive self-criticism, and I often experience dissociation when I am under stress.

I am unstable in my goals, aspirations, values, and/or career plans.

I have a heightened sense of empathy and am hypersensitive to the feelings and needs of my peers, although my perceptions are often biased towards negative attributes.

There is a lot of instability in my relationships, in that I am needy, mistrustful, and anxious.

__ / 4 Total

Section II Must check TWO or more of the following:

I have cognition problems and difficulty retaining information and remembering people and events.

I have affectivity problems and difficulty controlling the range and intensity of my emotional responses.

I have problems with interpersonal functioning and being aware of my own actions and feelings and how they affect others.

I have difficulty controlling my impulses.

__ / 4

Section III Must check ONE or more of the following:

I am very impulsive and often act on things without planning.

I engage in dangerous, risky, and/or potentially self-damaging activities with no concern to my personal limitations.

I am easily angered.

__ / 3 Total

Must have at least FOUR checks TOTAL by the end of this section, including ones from previous section (If you checked two above, you only need two here, for example):

My emotions are incredibly unstable, and I change moods often (sometimes within minutes), feeling things more intensely than others seem to.

I experience intense feelings of nervousness, tenseness, panic, and/or anxiety. I have fears of the future and of falling apart or losing control.

I get separation insecurity and fear abandonment.

I am frequently depressed and feel hopeless and have a difficult time recovering from such moods.

__ / 7 Total

Section IV Must check FIVE or more of the following:

I have a fear of abandonment and do my best to avoid it.

I switch between idealizing and devaluing the people in my life. My relationships are often unstable and intense.

I have an unstable sense of self and often question my identity.

I am impulsive.

I have attempted suicide and/or I self-harm.

I have frequent mood swings.

I often feel empty or depressed and have doubts about my future.

I am hot-tempered.

When stressed, I am paranoid and/or I experience dissociation.

__ / 9 Total

Section V Must check ALL of the following:

My symptoms impair my personality and social functioning 

My symptoms are consistent across a broad range of personal and social situations.

My symptoms have lasted a while and started in early adulthood or earlier.

My symptoms are not caused by medication, drug use, or another medical condition.

-

At this point, if you have checked the minimum, you may qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. The next section is a compiled list of symptoms, behaviors, thought patterns, etc. often found in borderline patients.

If you did NOT meet the minimum, check out Major Depressive Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. If you checked ALL of Sections II and V but still did not meet the minimum in other sections, look into other personality disorders, especially other Cluster B’s.

-

Section VI Common Symptoms and Behaviors associated: 

I have disordered eating patterns.

I am sometimes obsessive.

I sometimes get intrusive thoughts which I am unable to ignore.

I become attached easily.

I often “bait” people in order to start a conflict.

I have trouble sleeping, or I sleep too much.

I have a child-like curiosity.

I am dependent on others.

I sometimes mimic or mirror others.

I have nightmares.

I have difficulty processing information.

My appearance changes often.

I have an extreme need for acceptance.

I have a natural rejection of people in authority.

I constantly feel like I need to prove myself over and over again.

I very much live in the moment, to the point where past actions don’t matter. How I judge others (and myself) depends entirely on what is happening right now.

I isolate myself, even when I need social interaction.

I am often defensive.

I have anxiety/panic attacks.

I experience memory lapses.

I consider myself a perfectionist.

I react very strongly to mundane experiences.

I have a difficult time making decisions.

I have difficulty completing tasks.

I often feel misunderstood, mistreated, or victimized.

When I am upset, I am unable to calm down without help.

I castrophicize my problems and see the smallest things as the end of the world.

I often see my problems as unsolvable and hopeless to fix.

I hold grudges.

I alternate between seeing others as completely for them or against me.

I have a hard time recalling someone’s love for me when they’re not around.

I change my opinions depending on whom I’m with.

Sometimes the slightest provocation will make me feel abandoned.

I feel distrustful and suspicious a great deal of time.

I rush into relationships based on an idea of a person rather than the person themselves.

__ / 35

Let it burn …

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SzPD: OVERT vs. COVERT

Salman Akhtar (a psychiatrist) provided a comprehensive phenomenological profile of Schizoid Personality Disorder in which classic and contemporary descriptive views are synthesized with psychoanalytic observations. This profile is summarized below and lists clinical features that involve six areas of psychosocial functioning and are organized by “overt” and “covert” manifestations. “Overt” and “covert” are not meant as different subtypes but as traits that may be present simultaneously within one single individual.

Self-concept - OVERT

compliant

stoic

noncompetitive

self-sufficient

lacking assertiveness

feeling inferior and an outsider in life

Self-concept – COVERT

cynical

inauthentic

depersonalized

alternately feeling empty, robot-like, and full of omnipotent, vengeful fantasies

hidden grandiosity

Interpersonal relations – OVERT

withdrawn

aloof

have few close friends

impervious to others’ emotions

afraid of intimacy

Interpersonal relations – COVERT

exquisitely sensitive [disambiguation needed]

deeply curious about others

hungry for love

envious of others’ spontaneity

intensely needy of involvement with others

capable of excitement with carefully selected intimates

Social adaptation – OVERT

prefer solitary occupational and recreational activities

marginal or eclectically sociable in groups

vulnerable to esoteric movements owing to a strong need to belong

tend to be lazy and indolent

Social adaptation – COVERT

lack clarity of goals

weak ethnic affiliation

usually capable of steady work

quite creative and may make unique and original contributions

capable of passionate endurance in certain spheres of interest

Love and sexuality – OVERT

asexual, sometimes celibate

free of romantic interests

averse to sexual gossip and innuendo

Love and sexuality – COVERT

secret voyeuristic interests

vulnerable to erotomania

tendency towards compulsive perversions

Ethics, standards and ideals – OVERT

idiosyncratic moral and political beliefs

tendency towards spiritual, mystical and para-psychological interests

Ethics, standards and ideals – COVERT

moral unevenness

occasionally strikingly amoral and vulnerable to odd crimes, at other times altruistically self-sacrificing

Cognitive style – OVERT

absent-minded

engrossed in fantasy

vague and stilted speech

alternations between eloquence and inarticulateness

Cognitive style – COVERT

autistic thinking

fluctuations between sharp contact with external reality and hyperreflectiveness about the self

autocentric use of language

some lesser known creepy wikipedia articles

bc im tired of posts that list the same articles over and over. some are my finds, some are from reddit and other lists. please don’t add weirdo comments or tags to this post, be mindful and respective of the victims involved in some of these articles.

also donate to wikipedia if you can !

goiânia incident // karen wetterhahn // video-enchanced grave markers // involuntary parks // stoneman disease // list of inventors killed by their own inventions // mike the headless chicken // “my way” killings // disappearance of rebecca coriam // phantom of heilbronn // body in the cylinder // disconnection // chris mccandless // jenny haniver // list of human stampedes // sogen kato // death of brandon vedas // unethical human experimentation in united states // diprosopus // rodney marks // vegetable lamb of tartary // martha mitchell effect // blue mustang // pit of despair // underground tv play // argyria // gold base // high priestess of blood // zoo hypothesis // jasmuheen // anatoli bugorski // leucochloridium paradoxum // kramatorsk radiological accident // georgia guidestones // list of selfie-related injuries and deaths // morgellons // 2016 clown sightings // chernobyl necklace // voluntary human extinction movement // backwards knees // elsagate + toy freaks // TGN1412 // jam (tv series) // america sings accident // metabolic supermice // potential cultural impact of extraterrestrial contact // heart attack grill // space burials // music on ribs // bubbly creek // torture memos // death of candace newmaker // love canal // murder stones // burger king pokeball recall // instinctive drowning response // pals battalion // total information awareness // the matrix defense // death and the internet + digital inheritance // human .

joanna newsom “the things i say” / anne carson “plainwater”

i know you can’t stand me just tell me already

I want to be covered in bruises and scars

I want to look like the most damaged person you’ve ever fucking seen

I don’t even cry anymore

I hate feeling sick. Let’s all never feel sick again!!!!