A Littol Virgil! (Does This Count As Fanart?)

Logan, returning, reading off laptop: OKAY so I looked it up, there's no clear origin, but the wikipedia page for 'The Birds and the Bees' has a reason that makes sense:

"...bees carry and deposit pollen into flowers, a visible and easy-to-explain parallel to the way a man brings about fertilisation. Female birds laying eggs is a similarly visible and easy-to-explain parallel to female ovulation."

Remus: Has anyone in their life ever had sex explained to them that way?

Logan: I have no clue but I have an answer now

Logan: *puts away laptop*

Remus: Why do they call it a pair of pants when it's all one article of clothing and half of it isn't called 'a pant' it's called 'a pant leg'?

Logan:

Logan: *slowly pulls back out laptop*

Remus: Why do they call it the birds and the bees when talking about procreation between people? Birds and bees aren't mammals. They're nothing like people. Do you know how a bird or bee reproduces? I just know they both lay eggs. So like, what?

Logan: *scoff* They call it—

Logan: They call it...

Logan: WAIT HANG ON

Patton, when Janus and Roman are fighting: Well, I guess we'll just have to look for proof to see who's not being truthful!

Janus, studying his gloves: Go ahead, search my room; I have nothing to hide.

Roman, indignant: Oh, and I do?!

Janus: Uh, did I say anything about you, stupid bitch?

Roman: ...

Janus, scoffing: Egocentric much?

For a moment, I forgot what a gaylord was and was in a world of wild confusion and homosexual human trafficking

Remus: When you pet a cat real good and it leans into your touch so hard it flops over? That's the shit.

Logan: Or when a cat kneads you with its little paws? Absolute heaven.

Janus: When a cat pushes away your book and flops down where it was so you pay attention to it instead of the book.

Patton, who just appeared to tell them it's dinnertime, eyes full of tears: Yeah that's the best haha anyway dinner is ready

Logan, fluffing Patton's hair: When you play with Pat's hair and he turns pink because he's adorable.

Patton, blushing: *incoherent stammers*

Janus, sliding his arms around Patton's waist from behind: Or when you hug Pat because he's so soft and cuddly.

Patton, blushing deeper: *more incoherent stammers*

Remus: When your boyfriend's holding Pat so you can do this:

Remus: *kisses Patton on the cheek*

Patton, bright red:

̷̨̨̡̛̙̠̳͇̘͙̩͓͔̗͙͓̘̖̗̪̱̯͓̩̖̭̞̠͖̞̫̹͎̖͎̪͖̦̰͓̞̜̖̭̝̪͊͌͐͗͛̎̔͋̇̓̒̽̉̓̅̓̅́̀̍̅̐̐͑̌̇̾͐̚̚̚͜͠Ą̵̛̪͚̲̫̲̱̫̤̗̰̬̗͑̾̈́̌̐͆̋̅̀̄̂̂̇̿͂̽̀͗͌̆͗̂̓̽̔̑̔͑͠ͅḤ̶̡̡͔͍̟̠̣̱͍̱̖͎̪̝̟͇͖̙̠̬̩̳͇͙͇̦̃́̒͋͛͌̉̈́̊̌̋̀̔͆̈̇͌͒̿̔̎͜͝ͅH̵̢̧̡̧͓͎͙̣̜̺͚̩̼̼̯̟̤̝͕̩͉̯̮̼̪̳̪͇̺̰̆̽̎̀̿́̒̄̃͋̅͛̑͗̇͠͝Ḩ̵̛̘̣̖̝͆̅̆̔͌͋͐͗̆̃͊̏͛̐̄́͂̂͒͂̒̈͊̂̉͌̐̂̊̎̐͒̋́͘͘͝͝͝͝H̶̢̰̳͕̰̲̲̲̬̳̫̪͚͕͔̝̘̹̭͇͇̙̩̜̯͇̣͓̙̺̲̘͎̠͔̫͉̙̞̼̺͓̹͍̰̗͎̊̌̀͗͊ͅͅH̶̨̲͎̰̯͙̹̯̾̓͛͋̍͗̊̕H̷̡̢̢͖̻̭͍͉̠͉͉̦̗͕̩̥̭̜͇͈̳̦̫͓̞̼̹̪̦͚̃͊͊̇̀̄͗͒̓̈͐̆̏͒́̑́̅̊̓̍̑͊̈͛̍̈́̍͗̆̈̅͐̋̉̽̃̽̍̾̾̈́̇̕͘͜͜͠H̶̗̫̬̘̊͌̒̉̀͌͘͝ ̶̢̨̻͕͙̼̘̱̮̖̭̥̠̤͔̲͔̼̥͖̘̙͉̠̹͙̮̙̜̻͕̞̜̫͙͕̾̓̐̏̈́̽́̈́͛̐̀̅̐͂̏͛̀́̄̀́̓̎̄̑̀̿͛̋̔͒́͜ͅͅͅ

I started watching the dream team smp. I've finished episode seven.

I have 82 hours, 30 minutes, and 36 seconds of it left. Roughly three days and ten and a half hours.

Now one of my favorite cosplayers is going to start doing dsmp cosplay.

Am I going to watch 82 and a half hours worth of mcyt to know what the hell is going on so I can continue to appreciate them and their work?

Y E S .

I like the first one better, but I worked too hard to not post the second. For someone whose title is 'Deceit,' Janus really just spits facts. I've never related to or loved a character more than I do him, so here's my tribute

@thatsthat24

How Remus Describes The Other Sides

From a bit in a fic I wrote; basically, Janus sent a letter to a "new dark side" (its dark!Logan) that showed up explaining—

Y'know what I'll just put in the whole excerpt

Welcome to the ‘dark side.’ There are two of us here and four on the ‘light side.’ Fair warning, most of the others don't like us. More details on that and the main things that have happened if you missed it on the back. I look forward to meeting you, it has been quiet ever since Virgil (Now Anxiety, previously Paranoia) left. There's no rush to come out, though. Take your time. — Janus, Self-Preservation (Nicknamed ‘Deceit’)

He flipped it over, seeing a thorough but quick explanation of the split, Virgil switching sides, who the others were, why the lights didn't like the darks, etc. Janus had very nice handwriting.

It was really… Sweet. Nobody had ever been so considerate towards Logan in his life.

...

Hiya! Figured Jan already did the important introduction, professional and shit, but here's whatcha gotta know about the others—

Roman: My brother, kinda! Very dramatic, title is Creativity, his color is red, he always has his sword and knows how to use it so beware! He dresses like a Disney prince. Minus the crown. He has one. He just doesn't wear it.

Janus: You probably got a good gauge of his personality from his letter, his color is yellow, his title is Self-Preservation but the others always call him Deceit (he’s never corrected them), he's got some scales so don't be freaked out when you see him for the first time (y’know those Catholics and their lying snakes)

Me!: I usually write on neon paper didn't wanna ‘til I knew if you were okay with it, I’m Creativity but the non-socially-accepted Creativity so like intrusive thoughts and such, my color is green, I have a morning star fair warning though I hardly use it on people (never used it on anyone but Roman)

Patton: He’s Morality, he’s very confused about a lot of things, loves cats but he’s allergic, color is light blue, scared of spiders (which is hilarious cuz he loves Virgil), he pretends he’s the dad of the group and calls the others kiddo but he’s just a kid that had to grow up too fast and is now way out of his depth but scared to ask for help??? he wears glasses

Virgil: He’s Anxiety, used to be Paranoia when he was a dark side but then he got a redemption arc and now they love him, his color is purple, he loves spiders, he’s got really intense eyeshadow under his eyes, he’ll probably hiss at you when he first sees you

Logan: Ah, Logan. His title is Logic, and he’s truly the only light side with any braincells. However they NEVER FUCKING LISTEN TO HIM LIKE WTF sorry Thomas is such a dumbass it pisses me off being he! should! just! listen! to! Logan! and! he! wouldn't! have! half! these! problems! but nooOOOOoooOOoooo he’s gotta be a fucking idiot all the time, anyway Logan’s color is indigo he wears glasses he wears a black button-up and a blue striped tie and he’s the only light side worth talking to tbh

He teared up, reading the section about him. Remus got it. He understood how he felt. It was a bit confusing how he described him in more detail than the others, but he quickly moved past that, realizing Remus had forgotten to sign his name and chuckling a little.

(end of excerpt)

Here ya go

Concept: An au where L'manburg is not blown up, but Wilbur is locked in prison when it becomes Manburg, and has no idea that his friends won it back because everyone thinks he's dead (Schlatt locked him up in secret & promptly died). He's not, he's just wasting away in a cell. When they finally find him, this is the song he's singing, to himself:

I heard there was a special place

Where men could go and emancipate

The brutality

And tyranny

Of their rulers

Well, this place isn't real

You need to fret

I don't even know who’s still in-it

They kicked me out and stole it, my L’manburg

My L’manburg

It's not my L’manburg

It's their L’manburg

They stole my L’manburg

QUESTION SANDER SIDES FANS:

Please help me I don't know what this joke means and I can't find an explanation anywhere:

[You call those witty?]

Patton: Well, you call those glasses?

[I mean yes, I'm not sure if you're implying some—]

Patton: Well, I don't think they'll pick up, they don't have a cell phone! ZING!

Between Remus and his complicated relationship with Patton, Janus probably hasn't slept in eight years