Logan, Returning, Reading Off Laptop: OKAY So I Looked It Up, There's No Clear Origin, But The Wikipedia

Just Remus Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“This is very disconcerting. Patton, you sweet little puffball, come back." (When Patton's acting punk)

“Look, guy. I’m not in the mood to fight. But if you don't leave, I will fight you, and music’s not the only thing I’m trained in.” (What, karate?) “No, common sense. I have two knives on my body, want to find out where?”

(Do you really have two knives) “Nope. I have four. If he gets the two, he thinks it’s done, I pull out the third. He’s like, okay, that's pretty smart, he gets the third, and then I stab with the fourth.”

“I’m just making sure I don't get the wrong idea here! It's good to know the status of your friends’ relationships! Shut up.” (They haven't said anything) “They’re mocking me with their eyes.”

“Not to stereotype, but I’m kind of flaming."

(Glare) "You know you're going to win this because I’m not allowed to explain the situation.”

"How do you want to celebrate? Don't tell me you don't do something to celebrate after winning against the entire state."

“I like having smooth legs."

"Get on my back, I’ll carry you.” (Really?) “Yeah. We have to preserve your perfect marshmallow body, don't we?”

“Tell me if he bothers you again. I will make him regret it.”

"I crack jokes when I'm uncomfortable as a coping mechanism, so I can't have a serious conversation about it, so yeah, worm.”

“I’m afraid of going out unarmed at night or evening. I mean, it's a pretty simple fix, though; I arm myself.”

“I feel stupid arming myself just to go for a walk at night. I’m working on it.”

I'm so glad so many other people appreciate this ship too, I thought it was more controversial than it is XD

Remus: When you pet a cat real good and it leans into your touch so hard it flops over? That's the shit.

Logan: Or when a cat kneads you with its little paws? Absolute heaven.

Janus: When a cat pushes away your book and flops down where it was so you pay attention to it instead of the book.

Patton, who just appeared to tell them it's dinnertime, eyes full of tears: Yeah that's the best haha anyway dinner is ready

Logan, fluffing Patton's hair: When you play with Pat's hair and he turns pink because he's adorable.

Patton, blushing: *incoherent stammers*

Janus, sliding his arms around Patton's waist from behind: Or when you hug Pat because he's so soft and cuddly.

Patton, blushing deeper: *more incoherent stammers*

Remus: When your boyfriend's holding Pat so you can do this:

Remus: *kisses Patton on the cheek*

Patton, bright red:

̷̨̨̡̛̙̠̳͇̘͙̩͓͔̗͙͓̘̖̗̪̱̯͓̩̖̭̞̠͖̞̫̹͎̖͎̪͖̦̰͓̞̜̖̭̝̪͊͌͐͗͛̎̔͋̇̓̒̽̉̓̅̓̅́̀̍̅̐̐͑̌̇̾͐̚̚̚͜͠Ą̵̛̪͚̲̫̲̱̫̤̗̰̬̗͑̾̈́̌̐͆̋̅̀̄̂̂̇̿͂̽̀͗͌̆͗̂̓̽̔̑̔͑͠ͅḤ̶̡̡͔͍̟̠̣̱͍̱̖͎̪̝̟͇͖̙̠̬̩̳͇͙͇̦̃́̒͋͛͌̉̈́̊̌̋̀̔͆̈̇͌͒̿̔̎͜͝ͅH̵̢̧̡̧͓͎͙̣̜̺͚̩̼̼̯̟̤̝͕̩͉̯̮̼̪̳̪͇̺̰̆̽̎̀̿́̒̄̃͋̅͛̑͗̇͠͝Ḩ̵̛̘̣̖̝͆̅̆̔͌͋͐͗̆̃͊̏͛̐̄́͂̂͒͂̒̈͊̂̉͌̐̂̊̎̐͒̋́͘͘͝͝͝͝H̶̢̰̳͕̰̲̲̲̬̳̫̪͚͕͔̝̘̹̭͇͇̙̩̜̯͇̣͓̙̺̲̘͎̠͔̫͉̙̞̼̺͓̹͍̰̗͎̊̌̀͗͊ͅͅH̶̨̲͎̰̯͙̹̯̾̓͛͋̍͗̊̕H̷̡̢̢͖̻̭͍͉̠͉͉̦̗͕̩̥̭̜͇͈̳̦̫͓̞̼̹̪̦͚̃͊͊̇̀̄͗͒̓̈͐̆̏͒́̑́̅̊̓̍̑͊̈͛̍̈́̍͗̆̈̅͐̋̉̽̃̽̍̾̾̈́̇̕͘͜͜͠H̶̗̫̬̘̊͌̒̉̀͌͘͝ ̶̢̨̻͕͙̼̘̱̮̖̭̥̠̤͔̲͔̼̥͖̘̙͉̠̹͙̮̙̜̻͕̞̜̫͙͕̾̓̐̏̈́̽́̈́͛̐̀̅̐͂̏͛̀́̄̀́̓̎̄̑̀̿͛̋̔͒́͜ͅͅͅ

If anyone's wondering what they're eating—

Roman: Toaster waffles

Janus: He just unhinged his jaw (traumatizing Roman and Patton) and had a few whole raw eggs before leaving to not eat for a few weeks

Remus: Raw oats (just throwing back handfuls and sometimes not even chewing them, Patton is very concerned)

Patton: Cereal

Logan: Oatmeal (he offered to make Remus some out of politeness but he wasn't interested)

Virgil: Dry toast

(I feel it's important to emphasize that everyone is sitting at the table, even Remus, except Virgil, who is sitting on top of the fridge, munching on plain toast)

(Virgil's shooting Janus infuriatingly smug looks because whenever he tries to get on the fridge in the dark side, Janus swats him down with a broom, but he can't do that now haha take that Receipt)

Sides: *eating breakfast together*

School bus: *drives past*

Remus: *sees that it's empty*

Remus: This bus empty,

Remus, miming jerking a steering wheel to the side: SKEET

Remus: *continues eating breakfast*

Patton, the only one not used to this: ???

Okay, yeah, cool, "I find your lack of faith disturbing" and all that, but dude. Ani. My guy. These guys don't know the Jedi ways. Of course they have no faith in it.

I mean, the most of The Force they've seen is you strangling a guy, which you could do with your hands, or a rope, if you weren't a drama queen. You're the force-user, the trained-to-be-Jedi on the ship. If you want them to have faith in you, you gotta explain The Force and the Jedi ways, and their power, because they have no way to educate themselves on it.

How about instead of killing people, you make a powerpoint and sit them down and tell them why they should have faith.

I feel like Roman asking for Thomas's permission to start daydream mode means he needs Thomas to start it, and Thomas hasn't ever given Remus that ability explicitly that we've seen (he did give Remus permission to explain himself for Forbidden Fruit so that could be Remus's 'daydream mode,' or it could be that he had so much creative control because he incapacitated Roman)

Also if before DWIT was Remus's 'daydream mode' I feel like that wouldn't make sense because that was an intrusive thought/dream and Thomas did the exact opposite of giving him permission to do that y'know, sometimes intrusive thoughts that bad just happen and it sucks

(Does that make any sense?)

(Also Forbidden Fruit 100% slaps)

'Daydream Mode' is when Roman has full creative control, right? So I'm just imagining like:

Remus, ranting to Janus: —as long as their beak fits through, the entire rest of them, because that's the only solid part, can squish through—

Remus: *suddenly collapses without warning*

Janus, flipping the page of his book unconcernedly: Someone must have turned on Daydream mode.

I'm too deep in this rabbit hole now—

(Dee is too big I'm going to have to redo them XD)

EDIT:

Scaled-down Dee and did a Roman (a bonus Vee template from the first one)

A littol Virgil! (Does this count as fanart?)

Based off the Campfire Au Vee by @tscampfireau (HIGHLY recommend you check it out, it's awesome!)

v @the-floral-skeleton

Skshdjs now I'm just imagining this and all the possibilities

Light sides: *solving some problem in the middle of the night*

Janus, smacking the roof with a broom handle: SHUT! UP! WE'RE TRYING! TO SLEEP!

Alternatively—

Logan, stomping on the floor:

I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL

Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME

(Remus, tired: Isn't he keeping up the light sides too?

Janus: I believe that's intentional. )

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

Just kicked my brother's ass in Wii sports boxing, which was funny because my Mii is Patton, so new headcanon: Patton is super good at boxing but just hasn't mentioned it to the other sides until somehow Roman ropes him in to boxing with him and Patton just knocks him tf out

Pancake Day! / Accidentally Walking In On A Side In The Shower: Patton Version

(There is a see-through glass shower door unless otherwise specified)

Patton: Hey Lo do you know where the pancake mix is?

Logan, used to this, casually shampooing his hair: Behind the mixing bowls in the corner cabinet

Patton: Awesome, thank you. Second question: do you want pancakes?

Logan: Yes, thank you

Patton: Hey R—

Roman: *unholy shrieking*

Patton: Stop screaming it's just me— do you want pancakes?

Patton: Hey J—

Janus, soaking in the bathtub, unfortunately without convenient bubbles, as snakes do: …

Patton, turning red: I— I'll ask later—

Patton: Hey Virge! Do you want pancakes?

Virgil, invisible behind a black shower curtain: Yes, please.

Patton: Hey, Remus, do you want pancakes for breakfast?

Remus, showering fully clothed: Oh I'm always a slut for pancakes

Patton, internally: I need Logan's cards

Janus: Yeah, I can look at their bank account and the worth of every item they own. Money is more than just the material objects of bills and coins.

Logan: *huff*

Logan. "Why don't you believe ghosts are real?"

Janus. "I've never seen one."

Logan. "Okay, I mean, there's a lot of things that you can't see that you— that are real."

Janus. "What can't I see?"

Logan. "You can't see gravity, that's real."

Janus. "Yeah, I can drop an apple."

Logan. "Fuck."