I Like The First One Better, But I Worked Too Hard To Not Post The Second. For Someone Whose Title Is

Quackity: Hola a todos este es mi mejor amigo Bad, le encanta jurar y decir cosas como chingas, enséñale algunas palabrotas en Español—

Quackity también: ¡Ay, dios mío, Dan, lo siento mucho! ¡Olvidé que hiciste contenido familiar y ahora todos estamos jurando! ! ¡Tu imagen! ¡Lo siento mucho!

Verdaderamente la dualidad del hombre

Remus, proud of knowing something: Logan. I have a fact.

Logan, not looking up from his book: Proceed.

Remus: Male reindeers lose their antlers in the winter, while female reindeers don't. All of Santa's reindeers have antlers, meaning they're all female, but the media says they're men because they don't want a team of strong females depicted.

Logan: Or they aren't cis. Ever think about that?

Remus: Wait wha—

Logan: Maybe they're transgender. Don't be a bigot, Remus.

Remus: I'M NOT—

Remus: Wait—

Remus: Am I being a bigot???

Logan: I don't know, are you? You're assuming their gender aligns with their sex.

Remus: *now having a crisis*

Janus, walking past, unable to help it: So you could say they're... Transgendeer.

Logan, hopping up, beating Janus with a pillow: I'm trying to escape Patton's constant puns, goddamnit!

No thoughts head empty just wanna sit in studio ghibli's catbus

Objectively, the dumbest things the sides have done in my fics (not taking into account why they did them) (TW)

Roman: Threw himself down a staircase

Orange: Kissed Logan years after they broke apart their mutually toxic relationship

Janus: Fell off a cliff (and just barely caught himself)

Remus: Made a painting with his own blood

Patton: Agreed to go on a long hike with his friends when he's never been able to before (and was out of breath by the top of the first hill and had to be carried by Remus)

Logan: Realized wayyy too late that Remus (his best friend and previous roommate) and Roman (his friend and current roommate) were brothers

Edit: I remembered Logan got high and followed a hallucination off a cliff (into water luckily), so I think that's dumber XD

Virgil: Met Roman and in less than a minute, in his second sentence spoken to him, called him out for self-harming

Theodore (my cat): *meow*

Me, through my closed room door: You can't come in buddy

Theodore: *sad meow*

Me: I'm sorry but my room isn't clean and you're a little bastard

Theodore: *sadder meow*

Now I can just imagine one of the sides having this conversation with Remus (Remus as my cat, obviously)

(The boy and scissors in question)

Alternative to 'Working Through Intrusive Thoughts' Episode (no spoilers)

Janus: *sewing peacefully*

Janus: *cuts thread*

Remus: Y'know, those scissors are really sharp. You could poke them in your eye right now. Not even too hard, just cut your lenses. Do you think that would bleed? What would your vision look like? Would it leave a scar or make your eye look weird and blob-like? Or would it be foggy?

Janus, handing him a beanbag frog: This is for you.

Remus:

:0

Remus, squishing it: He,,, he bean,,, he sound like bean,,,

(Episode end.)

Don't forget [̵̱̲̟̓̈́͊̾r̶̦̪͕̝͖̟̟̓̍ȇ̵̛̖̣̞̋͘͘d̷̼̲̠̲̎͆̑̈́̍̅͋à̵͈͚̭̲́̎͝ͅc̵̦̱̅̇̐͐͐t̵̩͙͈̦͈͖̿̍́͜͝ẹ̵̤͖̓̾͑̍̆d̸͙̜̿͌̔͑͋]̵̫̻͖͕͍̭̓̿̀̀ͅ!

So you mean to tell me that a red himbo with self-esteem issues, a father with no son but has spirit, a teen stuck in his emo phase, Google with emotions on incognito, a lawyer with a Self-Care agenda, and Sin ALL make up a man with a flower obsession??

Imagine if spells could be cast to inflict you with any symptom, not just those of physical illnesses

Like, screw 'coughing fit' or 'fainting spell,' give me

Hocus pocus, leaping locust,

I cast curse of hyperfocus!

Or

Tic tac, bric-a-brac,

I hex thee: Panic attack!

Hey look, it's me

dee: gets crushes easily

also dee: is unable to imagine himself in any sort of romantic relationship because of his unwillingness to express vulnerability to others

therefore dee: cries

Dee is like "guess ill daydream abt romantic scenarios w these people although never bother to make a move in real life"

Incorrect Quotes: The Sides As Things My Dad Has Said

(I wrote down who actually said the quote if it wasn't him)

(Yeah, you fell off the wagon.)

Remus: "Fell off the wagon? I dragged that wagon into the woods and burned it."

Janus: "I should go get some cheese do go into all the whine in here."

(Where'd you hear that?)

Janus: "Like every movie ever."

Remus: "You just sprinkle some lime over it— lime could cover the scent of a dead body."

Logan (my brother): "And lye could dissolve it."

Virgil: "I love it up here. Like, here is like where you can sprinkle my ashes."

Roman: "(County)? I– That's where I go hunting for antelope. There's like six people and four skunks that live there."

Janus: "He was talking to the chairman of the committee of bullshit."

Patton: "A platypus looks like a beaver ran into a duck."

Roman: "Oh yeah— Do I still need to impress you?"

Virgil (my mother): "Every day until we die."

Remus: "Even a blind pig finds an acorn in its shit every once in a while."

Patton, completely unprompted: "You ever seen a pig in a french fry hat?"

Janus: "Milford, Nebraska: Where the men are men and sometimes the women are too."

Patton, severely allergic to bees (my mother): "Ah! Close it! There are bees in it!"

Remus, holding jar of honey: "It's fresh!"