Do You Take Headcanon Requests? If You Do I Have One.

Logan: Just... Explain to me how you do this.

Remus: Simple. Cinnamon? Delicious flavor. Not super strong like cloves. In my life I have never made anything too cinnamon-y. A lot of recipes fear spices, so you gotta use your own judgement.

Remus: 'That's close enough?' I measure with my heart is my answer, but in reality I'm a lazy bitch and don't want to measure out all those tablespoons and teaspoons and then wash all the extra dishes.

Remus: Salt? Salt doesn't make things salty until you add too much. When you add the right amount, it just makes things taste. It enhances the natural flavor. Almost always add salt.

Remus: Almond flour? Almond flour is literally finely ground almonds. As long as you don't accidentally make almond butter, you can totally make it yourself.

Remus: Adding cinnamon and chili powder to hot chocolate is how they do it sometimes in some places in Mexico, and frankly, it's delicious. I just add it to taste.

Logan: But how do you know?

Remus: Uh... Experience? Intuition?

Logan: I CAN'T LEARN THOSE!

Logan, in front of camera: Yeah, I'm good at baking because it's a science, I follow instructions exactly and get the desired outcome.

- (Flashback) -

Remus: A fourth teaspoon of cinnamon? You're fucking with me. What do you think this is, radioactive?

Remus: 1/6 cup? Eh, this'll be close enough

Remus: This frosting doesn't have salt? Seriously, the recipe's fucking with me. You can't have frosting without salt.

Remus: I'm out of almond flour for macarons? Eh, I'll grind my own

-

Interviewer: And how do you feel about Remus's baking always turning out better than yours?

Remus: *in background, putting cinnamon and chili powder in his hot chocolate*

Logan: *eye twitches* It's fine.

Remus: One cactus.

Patton: No. No, put the cactus down. No cacti in the pumpkin cookies.

Janus's light side name is Janan

My skin is so crispy I wouldn't be surprised if I just shedded it like a snake at this point

Remus and Logan: *playing Hell Chess*

Patton and Janus: *teleport in*

Janus: LOGAN! Tell Patton he does not have birds in his head!

Patton: Logan!! Tell Janus he doesn't know everything!

Logan, raising an eyebrow: What?

Patton: So, whenever my doctor examines my ears, these little birds tweet! He says I have a little family of birds living in my head!

Janus: Correction, to make Patton sit still during checkups, his doctor makes bird noises and pretends to check on birds in his head instead of his ears.

Patton: Hey, I'm perfectly still! I don't want him to poke a bird!

Janus: *gestures wildly at him*

Logan, completely serious: Oh, no, I'm afraid you're wrong here, Janus. I've seen Patton's medical records, he has a small family of birds living in his head and has for years. It's a harmless condition.

Janus: *stares at him in WTF manner*

Patton: Ha! I told you! Devon and his family ARE in my head!

Remus: What's in my head?

Logan, no hesitation: A single rat on a wheel. His name is Maurice.

Remus: Is he a space cowboy?

Logan: And a gangster of love.

Remus, grinning: Cool.

Patton: Ooh! What's in Roman's head?

Logan, also no hesitation: A frog named Roberto.

Patton: Awesome! I'm going to tell him.

Patton: *sinks out*

Janus: WHY.

Logan, smiling mischievously: You've got a transgendeer in yours.

Janus: MOTHERF—

Also (because I'm currently rewatching it):

- Old gay people. A-bit-past-middle-aged men that are a normal couple (well, as normal as a couple gets in this show) and also gay.

- The idea of "What if everyone was assigned a prophecy when they were born?" is explored

- Sprinkled with references to myths that you feel very proud if you understand

- Drama, murder, mystery, love, epic quests, betrayal, and more

- Family blood ties are less significant than your ties with those you choose to tie yourself to (chosen family > biological family, but someone can be both your chosen and biological family)

- The Amazons are in it (and much like the rest of the characters, they don't all look like tall, hot supermodels; they look like normal people, of which some are tall, hot supermodels)

- Yes, it does end on a cliffhanger, due to the fact that there was supposed to be a second season, but I personally think it is entirely worth watching regardless

- So much more that I can't say without spoiling parts

But do be aware that as a show involving Greek mythology, it does get bloody— someone else recommended checking Does The Dog Die? (doesthedogdie.com) if you have specific triggers you wish to avoid. I support this, though know that there will obviously be spoilers.

Why you should watch KAOS (2024) on Neftlix:

- Jeff Goldblum as Zeus

- A disabled actors play a disabled characters (Mat Fraser & another secret one [because spoilers])

- A trans actor plays a trans character (I won't say which one since it's kind of a spoiler)

- Set in modern times, uses characters from old myths but isn't a simple retelling; it's a whole new story

- All your favs are there (Prometheus, Daedalus, Persephone, Dionysus, Cassandra, Medusa, Charon, Ariadne, the Fates, the Furies, just to name a few)

- Speaking of Persephone, she and Hades are actually in love (the version of the myth which I know much of you love)

- Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss Hera (as in, she literally does all those things)

- The gods' actors' ages actually make sense, they didn't cast solely young people or make young people look older; you've got Zeus (72), Hera (63), Hades (61), Persephone (56), Poseidon (56), Dionysus (27), you get the idea

- Killer soundtrack

- Actual realistic queer characters/representation in a natural, unforced way

- Enjoyable story and comedic but also has depth (I binge-watched it in a day)

- Not a huge commitment (8 episodes of about 50 minutes each)

- Have you ever thought "What would the Ancient Greek gods be doing in modern times?" This show answers that question!

- It wasn't renewed for a second season due to viewership, so if the views explode, maybe they'll renew it and I can find out what happens next (I know it's not likely, but I can dream; besides, if just one person watches and enjoys it, then this post will have been worth it)

Patton: (unbuttons polo one button more than usual because it's hot out)

Logan, completely straight-faced: Whore.

Patton:

Patton: (unbuttons the next button just to see what will happen)

Me, years ago: If I want to be a Proper Trans Boy and be Respected By People then I must always be masculine and not wear dresses, or skirts, or makeup, or paint my nails—

The Internet:

So may I introduce to you,

The life-changing concepts of,

Toxic Masculinity

and

Femboys

Me, crying in joy, painting my nails, curling my eyelashes, wearing a dress because it is Too Damn Hot for shorts, self-esteem skyrocketing: Yeah go ahead

Everyone reblogging this with some variation of 'poly pat' is so intensely valid

Good morning! I'd just like to point out:

[Patton]: First, we'll need someone to practice on...

[Logan]: But who?

[Patton]: Each other?

(After they all swear to tell the truth during the trial scene and Janus takes the bibles/misc objects back away)

[Patton]: Okay, so, we kiss now? Or...?

Bonus:

[Patton]: Aww, there's so much cool stuff they've done for us online, kiddos!

[Roman]: Oh yeah?

[Patton]: There's some really neato artwork of us all AND some writing as well! Say, what is a "ship"?

[Logan]: Seriously, Morality, you don't know what that is? It is a craft designed for water travel.

[Virgil]: Even Prince knew that.

[Roman]: Yeah, even I knew that.

[Patton]: Oh, ok! It does not look like that, but ok.

I just want to point out those all happened in canon. That is all.

Au where Karl time-travels and then he sees Phil, looking the exact same as ever, and it's like the spiderman meme and

Karl: We time traveled to the same time??

Phil: I didn't time travel??

Karl: You didn't?? How are you here??

Phil: I never left??

Karl: YOU'RE IMMORTAL??

Phil: YOU CAN TIME TRAVEL??