“i Think I Passed Him Briefly In The Makeup Trailer.” What Lili Should Have Done Was Introduce Herself

“you flatter me. it’s hardly professional,” the pristine bow says otherwise but the words are almost automatic — a false sense of humility that never really suited lili falls from her lips and even though she, emi and the world probably know she’s the furthest thing from humble, lili relishes in the compliment. “just a little extra, sure, but it’s christmas. and i’m kind of in a giving mood.”

and lili leaves the reasoning at that.

once she’s secured the ribbon to the box, she makes quick work on pulling the bow into it’s shape and finishing it by curling its ends for the final spiral. “and it’s done!” probably her best accomplishment of the year, but who was really counting.

placing the gift with the rest, she looks to emi and at her own array of dressed up gifts and smiles, “and you were saying i was professional — yours are exactly like the ones i pick up at the department stores for the holidays all crisp corners and all.” the kids probably wouldn't care for the effort — already imagining them ripping the pretty wrapping to shreds — but lili had always appreciated anything pretty, especially when they were gifts.

something about christmas was frankly, just magical. the whole holiday season somehow made her feel better-- despite the chilling cold that seeped into the bones, and the sometimes loneliness that came with not getting to spend it back home, depending on funds and how busy they were. this though, this seemed to re-ignite her spirit just a bit. it was nice, getting to get together and make things look pretty-- now that she was good at.

she's just adjusting some frills of her own when lili gets her attention, dark eyes looking over and meeting her eyes, before they're casting down to see her tiny dilemma. she offers a chuckle, nodding as she's leaning to offer her finger, holding the piece in place. "wow, this looks really good. you must have spend a while on it. i like doing this, but that looks professional!"she comments.

she knows what they’re looking for — it was kind of hard not to know. it’s the usual: creative beyond your means, doing what no one has ever done before — that kind of thing, making a mark for yourself out of the box you called home. 

however, for lili — she hardly cared about the creative process. for lili: it was probably beyond her and her expertise. as long as the song or the choreography didn’t make her look like a laughing stock, she was fine doing something that someone else had put their blood, sweat and tears into engineering.

but now, as she puts her own blood, sweat and tears into whatever this could be — it exhausts her, and she’s ready to take a quick way out; but not before making sure that whatever the fuck this came to be didn’t look like she just pulled it from the depths of who knows where. 

“nah, nonsense — all i need is a new eye.” ( and unwarranted, half-hearted praise ) “i’m trying to match the beat but i feel like it’s coming off as stiff.” and it probably is considering this was far out of lili’s line of comfort. 

playing the song from her phone, lili lets lovely filter out into the quiet. with the help — and a healthy bribe — from one of the other trainees who had skillfully isolated the metronome in the song, she was concentrated on hitting with each move is louder than the mellowed songstress who was mumbling in the background but each move she did felt weird — disconnected, and as she does these movements before rua’s eyes, they feel even more amplified as wrong. 

“god, it looks silly, doesn’t it?”

honestly speaking, rua wasn't that interested in choreographing.

thinking about having to come up with different steps and moves then combining them into something that'd be presentable as a full dance is a tall wall she's not sure she wants to try scaling - but as it goes with all things she's taken on since becoming a trainee, she's at least open to trying. she'll never know if she might end up liking something if she doesn't give it a chance so when it was basically a requirement to focus on their personal creative skills, rua chose what she felt were the most appealing to her out of the given options.

still, she wasn't quite confident in what she picked; it showed in how she had absolutely no idea what she should be doing but not wanting to appear like she needed to be hand-held through the entire thing, rua opted for googling choreography tips and looking up videos on youtube for ideas and inspiration in the corner of the practice room she had claimed for herself. no one had to know, right?

that is, until she hears someone calling her name which causes her to look up from her phone in surprise, as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have. when she processes that the person--whom she remembers (hopefully, correctly) to be another trainee named lili--who said her name was not trying to expose her and instead, was asking for her advice on something, rua feels a small sense of relief - but only a little bit and the feeling doesn't last for long either.

she's not sure how much valuable input she can give considering she was just searching everything up a mere moment ago but rua doesn't want others to find that out. so she smiles and says, "i don't know how much i can help but sure," before walking over to lili and nodding. "what move are you trying to do?"

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

just another year around the sun 🎁 ❤️

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

i'll be your chocolate, if you'll be my valentine?

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

໒꒱ .  TRAINEE MISSION # 16 、INTERVIEW .

lili had never been the spill your guts, vulnerable in front of the camera kind of person.

but she likens this scenario as a part to play. a role she must succeed to in order to get to where she must. and where that place is is where people liked that vulnerable in front of the camera, spill your silly guts kind of crap. 

so, lili does what she can — musters up the silly little guts that would get her somewhat of a good standing and puts on that darling, pretty smile her grandma loves.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT FOR TODAY ?

“my favorite? it has to be —” she racks her brain for something memorable that happened today: she had almost fell in chicken shit — it literally was everywhere, it was probably all up in the grooves of her boots — the smell was permanently stuck in her nose no matter what jaekyung had tried, she was tired — lili did not want to revisit such a memory. and yet, here she re-tells the tale like it was some funny comedic sketch that had brought her to her tears in joy and jest. a darling smile brought to her lips even if the only thing she wished to say was that she was thankful that the day was finally over. “getting to see all the cute chickens, we even got to see some eggs hatch in the incubator, it was really cool. i’ve never seen that before.”

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CHALLENGE GIVEN TO YOUR TEAM ?

“hard.” probably the most truthful thing she’ll utter this weekend — and it was only friday. despite grinning and bearing it for what she could, today had really done a number for her. “bearing through the chicken coop was … an experience, i was honestly kind of scared — i thought the chickens would attack us. can you imagine getting chased by a chicken?” she shudders at the horror of the thought, for effect.

WHO DID YOU FEEL YOU GOT CLOSER TO ?

she pauses, thinking about it for a good second. even if most of the day she had stuck herself, like glue, to jiah, lili couldn’t deny that there had been quite a number of trainees she had inadvertently gotten closer to. not that she could help it, in between biting her tongue at the complaints that wished spill from her tongue, she knew the others could tell she was having a hard time and, in the end, was thankful for those who helped to make her dire experience even just a sniff better. “i’d say jaekyung? she even offered her towel to me when she saw that i was struggling.” sure, lili was being a tad bit dramatic but the stench was truly nauseating, the viewers would be glad they’d didn’t see lili hurl.

WHAT WAS ONE LESSON YOU’VE LEARNED FROM THIS EXPERIENCE ?

nothing. lili learned absolutely nothing — she wished to say, but knows that isn’t what they came here for. that that wasn’t what the viewers wanted to hear. so instead, lili works the courage of what a menial, less troublesome, more humble person would think: she knew no one of this manner so she was struggling but she makes do — “that it’s good for all of us to take a moment to slow down and feel the wind in our hair.” something like that, right?

“all the aunties here were super cute, too, maybe their fashion sense here is another lesson to remember.” 

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

fun fact! did you know that the year of the snake is my chinese zodiac? so, as my zodiac intends, and as the clock strikes on the last hour of my birthday, i declare that this will be my year of transformation, renewal and spiritual growth! 

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

lili had never thought her social battery was one with a limit — but today, it seemed to exist in bursts. teetering on its last legs as she lets zoe’s drawl come in one ear with a nod and a small, passing smile when it goes out the other. it wasn’t that she was tired or anything but there was only so much energy could exert and unfortunately, much of it had been placed on emphasis when for the first time in the last four hours she had finally tried to try her luck in selling these goddamn soap bars that just were not their consumer’s target product today.

soap — she thinks, while sipping on the cup of juice she had snatched up from emi earlier — why had it been soap?

“mm,” she says in reply, setting her cup beside her on the bench. biting her tongue when zoe mentions luck — and sure, maybe the others did have luck on their side. even if the unspoken advantage was a tell-tale sign of it all. 

“grace, huh?”

losing with grace had never been her style but lili liked that that was how it seemed despite everything. 

“i wouldn’t be hyping up the food too much, if it’s anything like yesterday, the food will probably not be to the best expectations.” again, lili was not looking forward to being dressed to her elbows in misplaced vegetable chunks that did not make it onto the cutting board. her heel kicks gently at the ground with a small wry laugh, “you’d think because it’s our last day they’d treat us to a nice meal, i could really go for some ginseng chicken soup.” 

she didn’t want to complain — scratch that, this was lili — all she did was complain. 

♥︎ ╱ ꜱᴜɴᴅᴀʏ - ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀɴᴛꜱ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ? ⤿ ꜰᴛ. @lgclili

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀♥︎

Zoe leaned back against the weathered wooden bench, relishing a moment of calm amid the bustling marketplace. The frenetic energy of the morning's sales still echoed in her mind, but now, with a satisfied smile, she turned her attention to Lili. She had seen her around Legacy before, so Zoe was grateful to get a chance to talk with her really.

"Can you believe how quickly today flew by? Team Juice really nailed it!" Zoe exclaimed, a glimmer of triumph in her eyes. She felt a swell of pride for their team's success, knowing they had earned a well-deserved break while the other teams took over the cooking duties.

Glancing at Lili, Zoe acknowledged her friend's efforts. "I guess luck was just on our side today," she remarked, reaching for her water bottle to quench her thirst. "But hey, don't stress too much about it. You did fantastic out there, and now we get to enjoy a scrumptious meal thanks to Team Soap Bar!"

Zoe's curiosity got the better of her as they continued chatting over their lunch. "By the way, how was your challenge with selling soap bars?" she asked, genuinely interested in Lili's experience. "I know it was a tough crowd out there, but you always handle it with grace."

in a perfect world, it would have just been lili and minkyu. just them, no need for lili to act up for anyone, let alone minkyu.

but this wasn’t a perfect world — as reality so helpfully liked to remind lili — and instead of it being just lili and minkyu. it was just lili and minkyu and a handful of cameras that were panning in on their every move and recording their every word. the things she would rather do — the things she would rather say are swept under her tongue and instead replaced with an appropriate, friendly smile rather than the snarky and amused — chagrin, almost — smirk.

a face the public could grow to like — a face she knows like the back of her hand. 

“i suppose you’ve got one thing going for you: good taste.” she laughs, eyes twinkling at the compliment thrown her way. despite of herself, lili knew she couldn’t deny herself the flattery.

( it was one of her weaknesses, ugh — remind her to lock it up later )

she takes his arm for hers to hold, squeezing his arm, gently, as she smiles at him. “ah, you caught me.” she laughs, lightly. “honestly, it was one of my favorite things to do when i lived in beijing. it’s like a whole event — you’d see huge, huge kites flying all around. it’s also about around this time when it’s held and i just wanted to share it with a special someone — thankfully, it’s you.” 

“oh, and we won’t just be flying them,” she’s steering him down the path towards the little workshop she had spent the past week researching. her steps growing hurried as they grow closer that the hand at his arm snakes down to grab his hand instead so they could rush forward. 

and once they do, in a plethora of sparkling hand gestures and a smile practically spilling of sunshine and warmth — god, was it aching her cheeks — “we’re also going to be making the kites!”

In Lili's company, there's an immediate sense of comfort that envelops him. Perhaps it's the deep bond of their friendship or the effortless harmony they share, but filming this reality show suddenly feels far more exhilarating than he had ever imagined.

With her, he doesn't feel the need to conform to any particular persona or mannerisms; he can simply revel in being his authentic self, secure in the knowledge that their natural dynamic will resonate with viewers.

"Who did I expect?" he ponders aloud, pretending to mull it over for a moment, mock-serious, "Some Hollywood celebrity, of course," before breaking into a grin. "Honestly, all I hoped for was someone with a pretty smile and a contagious laugh, and you fit the bill perfectly. I couldn't ask for more." His words aren't just for show or because he knows female viewers will be swooning in this moment; he genuinely means them.

Offering his arm for her to hold on to as they begin to walk, his glance casts up at the sky dotted with kites. "I'm sure flying kites will be a blast, although I've never tried it before," he confesses with somewhat of a sheepish smile. "I can't help but wonder how you came up with such a unique date idea, though. Is there a specific meaning to your choice?" His focus is solely on Lili, every ounce of attention on no one but her suddenly. "It's definitely one-of-a-kind."

any other day, one where the sun wasn’t in her eyes or the wind wasn’t messing up her hair — or where lili wasn’t paranoid that chicken shit had gotten underneath her fingernails — maybe lili would have tickled her competitive bone. but no, apparently that day was not today. and lili knew a losing game when it’s been had and from the get go — soap? was no winning contender in anyone’s book.

it wasn’t as if the people around here went through soaps as quickly as they would water — they couldn’t be that dirty, could they? she sniffs, trying not to appear too miffed by the idea before turning back to emi.

“surprised — why?” she feigns her own little raised brow in confusion, a smile playing on her lips as she looks at the juice cups. her finger dances in the air around them as she tries to choose, “which do you recommend, you’ve been here all day — which has been selling the most?” 

she swore, just when she thought she had legacy figured out, they wanted to throw another curveball-- like sending them out into the country, having them feign for themselves, or at least it felt that way sometimes. really though, all mimi could do was cackle at the different shenanigans they had been put through. it was all in a good fun, and honestly, she hadn't realized how sick of the practice room she was until they were heading far far away from it.

fresh air would do her some good anyway, it had been a rough couple of weeks.

and she liked competing. it was fun, it lit a fire under her, even more so when she realized she was losing. so to say this weekend had been... eventful was an understatement. it was nice to get closer to the trainees and unnies, though.

sometimes, this makes it easier to feel like she fits in.

juice selling was going well, and the team was excited, hushed whispers around their future spoils of vicotry when the voice rings through and emi turns, blinks a bit at lili as she tries to hide her snort. she takes the bill with ease, moving to get change, and gestures to the juices. "take your pick, take your pick. i am a little surprised you wanted to get one from us, though." she admits with a chuckle.

lili speaks with an ease of someone who didn’t care of the eyes on her — then again, when had people looking at her ever mattered?

in fact, for lili, it was always the more — the merrier. 

she basked in the idea of eyes on her, whether or not, it was deserved. lili was vain, ambitious and had the cut-shit guts to get what she wanted— this she knew. and it was this same thirst and vanity that she saw in spades in jieun — maybe that was why it bit into the very envious tremble that she kept at bay beneath her smile. 

“oh but of course — we all know how some actress can be so, so high and mighty. primadonnas.” the words dance along a line of dismissiveness but her smile speaks otherwise, directed to jieun in a way only lili knew the other would recognize. like a snake as it slithered up to your throat, coiling tight in between words that could have been passed off as nothing. 

( except coming from lili — it was never really nothing ) 

“you guys have that saying right — the more a diva fusses, the more they try to compensate for their … shortcomings, is it?” she feigns the slightest uncertainty — as if her lack of korean fluency would tangle her words. “but you don’t have that problem, though — you’re always so well taken care of.” 

old vices are hard to relinquish, even when she has become a better person and is on her best behavior on the set. it's that same space that makes her wary of the friendly grins that would easily pull the rug out from under her.

it doesn't help she is there too, in a habitat that jieun judged natural only to her and her fellow actors, staff and production team, mingling around the people she tried so hard to impress and to make see her in a good light. especially now.

so even if the conversation a few steps from her is irrelevant and she's busy reading the script by herself as she waits for the next scene, jieun is somewhat alert. enough for the scoffs and good samaritan masquerade not to go unnoticed, but she doesn't look up to check who they are talking about. she doesn't even need to, because it only takes a couple of seconds for one of the managers to kindly offer her a cup of iced coffee.

"oh? you're a lifesaver! thank you manager-nim," she smiles genuinely as she takes the coffee and the man runs somewhere else, probably after another actor he had to take care of ( he wasn't even her manager ). the actress turns to face lili and flashes a smile at the girl, sipping her drink.

the subtle implications that jieun is making his life hard or abusing her power hit a nerve — not that it was hard to rub her the wrong way. jieun was guilty of many sins, but she never mistreated her staff or co-stars as her work and everyone in it were important to her. but, right now, she can only swallow her annoyance and do what she does best: acting.

"oh yeah, he is always in a hurry but is very attentive... it's not easy to look after so many of us," she points out with a grin, keeping it safe in case anyone eavesdrops. "it's a relief to know there are so many people looking after them too. you know how rude some celebrities can be..."