“you Flatter Me. It’s Hardly Professional,” The Pristine Bow Says Otherwise But The Words Are Almost

໒꒱ . WORKSHOP OPPORTUNITY # 002 _ IDOL JAPANESE: THE EVALUATION 、 aka “LILI, CAN YOU TEACH ME JAPANESE?” I SAID 「はい、はい」

the unfortunate thing about all this is that when pushed, lili pushes harder.

and lili wouldn’t call what they did pushing, per say. unless you could call dangling lili over a cliff with nothing but herself and ichika as a safety net below her pushing — then so be it, they pushed her.

because lili did not like to be pushed around.

despite the practices for that nostalgia show the girls were all participating in, she had this on top of it — and lili was no stranger to overachieving and doing too much in order to appear as pristine and as put together as possible. even if it meant, forgoing necessary ailments such as sleep and food, lili was going to prove them why they shouldn’t push lili to do things.

in the grand scheme of things, the evaluation comes in a blur — her prepared speech, ran through and corrected by ichika with alarming quickness is something lili can only warrant from her own neck-breaking determination to get things done right. even if she had gone into this workshop not knowing a lick of the language — she could at least call herself somewhat knowledgable — if not, able to say more than yes. 

she goes through the motions, remembering the sounds of the vowels — trying to not trip over them as she slows her words, carefully, because the more she quickened her pace, the more she stumbled over them. taking a breath, and with another smile, she begins — in a banter with her partner, thank god at least they knew what they were doing, while lili felt like she was still dangling from that tell-tale cliff, searching for a savior. 

the breath helps, it eases the nerves tickling the back of her neck. her smile used like a shield in the midst of a battle against herself and the evils who had put her in such an uncomfortable position. never had lili felt this unprepared — even if she had spent every waking moment of the past three months preparing for just this — she still felt uneasy. 

was this is? 

her fall from grace?

( finally tumbling her from  her overly egotistic, completely arrogant pedestal that no one but she had put herself upon? ugh, the ground would probably hurt from a fall like this, wouldn’t it? )

these are things she keeps in her back pocket for later — for when she’s to complain about her downfalls and her supposed weaknesses to jang insung — a laundry list, really, of her woes and why she still doesn’t quite understand why she was placed for such a workshop. 

sure, she learned japanese — but at the end of the day, lili only did so because she had felt undermined, so really …

who was the winner in all this?

lili wouldn’t think it was she — begrudgingly, least said and never something she’d say out loud, it had put another notch on her otherwise ridiculously overachieving and accomplished belt — at least, she wouldn’t admit to it as so.

lili sighs, letting another resigned hand run through her hair. “no, nothing’s hurt.” just my ego — she thinks while trying not to glare at the little boy standing right behind asami who was currently giving her the evil eye. the second asami turns her head, lili throws a stuck-out tongue his way before sidling back up to asami’s side.

“please don’t leave me with them, who knows what else i’ll be subjected to — they’re ….” chaotic, life-sucking, evil gremlins. “unpredictable.” she says instead of all the things she wished she could — but who knows whose ears were listening in and wasn’t it a thing for kids to parrot back everything they hear?

that would not be a good thing.

( especially for lili and her very unrefined filter-less speech )

crossing her arms, she allows asami to gather the kids in front of them; unexpectedly she stands a step behind asami — as if hiding behind her in case of, well, just in case — as the other girl gets the kids to somehow apologize for their wrongdoings.

and lili — despite not wanting to — has to be the bigger person, she was the adult here, right?

right?

once their apologies are given — though, lili thinks they sound a little forced — she nods, sighing, “it’s okay, i forgive you.” a hand reaches out to shake each of their sticky hands without grimacing — +1 for lili! “let’s shake on it.”

Asami does the best she can to pull Lili up as gracefully as she can. Asami isn't necessarily strong, but Lili is light as a feather, so even though her moral wasn't doing well right now, Asami thinks there was no dignity lost in the process.

Asami doesn't miss the way she addresses the kids, either. And even though she doesn't really agree with the terms of endearment, Asami can't stop the little smile from forming on her lips. The kids, indeed could be a little way too much. "But you're okay right? Nothing hurts?" she asks Lili instead as she brushes the older's hair off her shoulder.

Asami is genuinely ready to leave Lili give the kids a earful given the circumstances they've put her on. They are volunteers and not punching bags after all, but before that happens Asami shakes her head when she notices Lili slightly panicking. "No, no, don't worry. It's just that kids can leave lollipops in the weirdest places, but you're alright," and to prove her point she stretches her neck to get a full 360º looking for any damage and could find none. "You're just slightly disheveled, but you're still pretty," she tries to ease her worries before turning to the kids. "Now kids, I hope you understand you weren't really nice to Lili noona. She didn't want to play this game, and when we play we should all want to participate, isn't that what we agreed on?" and she receives a few reluctant nods, "what do we say when we do something wrong, then?" and they obediently turn to Lili to offer her their apologies.

໒꒱ .  TRAINEE MISSION # 16 、INTERVIEW .

lili had never been the spill your guts, vulnerable in front of the camera kind of person.

but she likens this scenario as a part to play. a role she must succeed to in order to get to where she must. and where that place is is where people liked that vulnerable in front of the camera, spill your silly guts kind of crap. 

so, lili does what she can — musters up the silly little guts that would get her somewhat of a good standing and puts on that darling, pretty smile her grandma loves.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT FOR TODAY ?

“my favorite? it has to be —” she racks her brain for something memorable that happened today: she had almost fell in chicken shit — it literally was everywhere, it was probably all up in the grooves of her boots — the smell was permanently stuck in her nose no matter what jaekyung had tried, she was tired — lili did not want to revisit such a memory. and yet, here she re-tells the tale like it was some funny comedic sketch that had brought her to her tears in joy and jest. a darling smile brought to her lips even if the only thing she wished to say was that she was thankful that the day was finally over. “getting to see all the cute chickens, we even got to see some eggs hatch in the incubator, it was really cool. i’ve never seen that before.”

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CHALLENGE GIVEN TO YOUR TEAM ?

“hard.” probably the most truthful thing she’ll utter this weekend — and it was only friday. despite grinning and bearing it for what she could, today had really done a number for her. “bearing through the chicken coop was … an experience, i was honestly kind of scared — i thought the chickens would attack us. can you imagine getting chased by a chicken?” she shudders at the horror of the thought, for effect.

WHO DID YOU FEEL YOU GOT CLOSER TO ?

she pauses, thinking about it for a good second. even if most of the day she had stuck herself, like glue, to jiah, lili couldn’t deny that there had been quite a number of trainees she had inadvertently gotten closer to. not that she could help it, in between biting her tongue at the complaints that wished spill from her tongue, she knew the others could tell she was having a hard time and, in the end, was thankful for those who helped to make her dire experience even just a sniff better. “i’d say jaekyung? she even offered her towel to me when she saw that i was struggling.” sure, lili was being a tad bit dramatic but the stench was truly nauseating, the viewers would be glad they’d didn’t see lili hurl.

WHAT WAS ONE LESSON YOU’VE LEARNED FROM THIS EXPERIENCE ?

nothing. lili learned absolutely nothing — she wished to say, but knows that isn’t what they came here for. that that wasn’t what the viewers wanted to hear. so instead, lili works the courage of what a menial, less troublesome, more humble person would think: she knew no one of this manner so she was struggling but she makes do — “that it’s good for all of us to take a moment to slow down and feel the wind in our hair.” something like that, right?

“all the aunties here were super cute, too, maybe their fashion sense here is another lesson to remember.” 

BIRTH NAME   —   li yifei (李亦菲) LEGAL NAME   —   xu yifei (徐亦菲) ENGLISH NAME   —   xu lili (徐莉莉) KOREAN NAME   —   seo yeokbi (서역비), seo lili (서리리) BIRTHDAY   —   january 01, 2001 BIRTHPLACE   —   beijing, china BLOOD TYPE   —   AB ZODIAC SIGN   —  capricorn FAVORITE MOTTO   —

it is not enough to be good, if better is possible.

RANDOM FACTS   —

took ballet for twelve years

born in beijing, she moved to los angeles when she was 7

was adopted by her grandmother when she moved to the usa, there she gained dual citizenship

can speak 3 languages: mandarin, english and korean

her favorite color is baby pink

was about to debut in a low-level company but was dropped from the lineup for 'unknown' reasons

is very much into fashion, enjoys thrifting and calls vogue and harper's bazaar her bible

loves sour candies, her favorite is sour tamarind-flavored candies

claims that her last meal would be an iced americano, sour tamarind candies and malatang

loves spicy food, and the more it numbs her tongue, the better

loves wong kar-wai movies, especially in the mood for love and chungking express

is very into nail art and always, always, always has her nails done

her favorite singers are christina aguilera, britney spears, mariah carey, sza and ariana grande

YEAR END GOALS   —

debut

work on her whistle register

challenge herself with more difficult choreographies

PREVIOUS APPEARANCES & PROJECTS   —

n/a

MOST MEMORABLE EVENT   —

n/a

wrap me up — @lgcxmimi

as someone who’s love language was giving and receiving gifts, when given the chance — and truly, there were not many — lili practically jumped at the opportunity to wrap presents. unfortunately, these gifts lacked her certain aesthetic taste for ribbon and wrappers but she would make do — anything to keep her away from the children and their little grubby hands.

so, she with each wrapped box and toy; her artistic pursuits soared when it came to decorating them with ribbon. all she needed was an extra —

“emi? do you mind lending a finger, i just need one so i can tighten this bow.”

extending the box towards the other girl, lili appears far more excited at the aspect of bows and wrapping than she has been since the day had started — and it may or may not be because she was out of earshot of those screaming gremlins but we don’t judge — smile dazzling and all as she steps towards emi’s side.

໒꒱ . TRAINEE MISSION # 17 _ NOSTALGIA REVIEW、

it is to no one surprise that lili’s least favorite week was week 5 and no we will not elaborate because lili’s headache throughout rehearsals should be enough of an explanation.

she was rather pouty and mouthy ( to any ear that listened ) about the song choices but when it came time to actually performing, like the hypocrite she is, she smiled and sang like she hadn’t just bad-mouthed each song the week prior to performing it.

funnily enough, lili’s favorite week was probably week 6 because she enjoyed ’tt’ the most. not only was it the most vocally challenging of the songs they had to perform during this stint, she found herself having fun performing it as well — understanding just why people liked it, in the end. 

she probably got a little too into character during the performance with her pouts.

one thing lili knows how to do is be charming and she thinks ( SHE THINKS ) her charm was shown the best during week 6’s performance.

from rehearsals to their subsequent performance, lili finds herself craving the stage more than she usually does. maybe it has something to do with the fact that they were building up for something — maybe it was the fact that with each week came a new performance and that only sparked a new sense of fulfillment in her; whatever it was, by the end of the program, lili finds herself a little sad that it had ended so soon despite her many ( many ) complaints.

she, surely, complained a bit too much to chaekyung and is still sore that chaekyung did not bring her to the nurse when she said her headache was life or death.

while lili prizes herself as an all-rounder performer, she’s realizing that being an all-rounder also means being able to cover for her peers when they fall short and not only does lili fail in that regard, she loses sight when she puts rapping and similiar low-toned range performances on the back-burner. another that she finds herself shirking is the way she portrays herself in her performances as a performer, being away from the stage had set in her a precedent of comfortability that she needs to ease off of — she needs to want it again, to not be okay with being comfortable, she needs to succeed in its light rather than just be on stage. she wants to shine. 

PITY PARTY: PARTY OF 1 ୨୧ @lgcjisoo / BACKDATED (010125)

the humiliation burns.

and yet, lili would rather wear the flaw like a bright red ‘a’ a la scarlet letter. if hester prynne could be prosecuted for the shame of adultery, could lili’s crime be considered of that multitude?

what had been her crime again?

ah right — existing, was it?

on the eve of her birthday, for what lili had thought was to be her birthday dinner — she had invited jisoo on the pretense of such — they gathered around a long mahogany table : filled with food, left untouched ; conversation, guided by the xu matriach, none other than lili’s grandmother ; and people lili could not place or fathom to know.

was this truly her birthday dinner?

her grandmother had introduced it as so and yet, despite the first sentence starting and ending with lili — everything that followed had nothing to do with the girl who was at the cusp of turning twenty-four that night. and she was floored, utterly embarrassed and speechless at the obvious display of neglect. 

was she supposed to sit here, look pretty and take this disrespect? the way her grandmother stares her down from across the table is a clear answer.

an obvious one that lili finds she doesn’t want to listen to — grabbing her purse, she tugs on jisoo’s sleeve, slamming her heels to the ground as she stands. “let’s go, we still have to pick up your dog from the daycare, right?”

she lies through her teeth — thinking on her feet for some semblance of an excuse only to find the piss-poorest one, and yet her eyes flash a demand for jisoo to get his ass out of that chair. 

“you’re right,” she sighs — side-eyeing the trainer, utilizing her most famous confused expression: a draw of the brows, the slowing of her lips into a small, perplexed pout. “it also doesn’t help that he’s being so annoying about it, too.”

having been a transplant all her life, lili has been accustomed to not knowing where she’ll be or where she’ll stay. implanted from one place to another, from one caretaker to another — but never to the ones who really matter. so, she mulls over the question — one, to any other normal person, would be considered an easy-going, friendly question. 

lili decides easiest is best.

“los angeles.” it’s where she’s been the longest — so, by default, she supposes she could assume its role as her hometown as necessary.

“and you?” she tried to place the other’s accent but asking would probably be the easiest way to an answer.

Amelia loved the fact that she was a foreigner. She loved using it as an excuse during training and also to mess with other people. Throughout the years, Amelia had gotten out of a number of different scenarios thanks to the fact that she was a foreigner. She'd also made quite a lot of friends thanks to being a foreigner as well which was even better.

Amelia listened to the other girl, using her face as a mask to hide their true intentions. ❛ I get it. Some days are just not your day and when they add training on top of it it's just too much. ❜ Amelia shook her head softly.

Amelia was trying so hard to ignore the look on the coach's face while he stood next to them. Her desire to cause mischief and mayhem was too much right now. Growing up with two brothers had definitely shaped her personality. The fact that the other girl was just as into her idea as she was told Amelia that they would definitely become very good friends in the future.

❛ I'm Amelia. It's nice to meet you, Lili. Where are you from? ❜

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

angel of mine  ꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱  

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili

@LGCENT just posted a photo!

first snow fall of the year! did your wish come true? 

#lgctrainees #lgcent #xulili