𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥.

Okay so I recently watched OFMD season 1 and I just kept constantly hearing Ed's laugh in my ears until I realised it was NOT Ed's laugh.

It took me a minute to figure out but I finally remembered. And... This makes so much sense. It's literally them.

Life isn't a period of time. It feels more like a moment. I don't really understand how I am this old already and how I will become older. And i will feel the same way from the inside when I will be older. I will just be in the moment. Not in the 'live in the moment' way but in a 'remembering or planning doesn't feel real' way. And other people are the same.

This doesn't feel real. At all.

Hello there

I created this account to find people who are like me or who find me interesting.

This account doesn't have my name or my usual nickname so I hope not to find people that I already know.

I want to start fresh. I want to talk without any limits. I came here to look for myself.

I see myself having a family eventually. Not now though. I can't spend a lot of time with people, it's tiring. I am so peaceful right now during quarantine.

This makes me wonder if I will ever feel sourceful (if you can say it like these) to have someone for a long time in my life. Especially children. Will I ever feel like I won't be completely out of energy after just some time?

So I saw people talk about grey star jacket that Ed's wearing on the picture with Jackie.

And when I watched analysis of the trailer I noticed that Buttons is wearing the same jacket (and i didn't see anyone talking about it). So it might be a uniform or they were wearing the same thing at different points of time.

Also we saw Stede wearing a red cravat. And some people assumed it was Ed's cloth (maybe I'm wrong and I just thought that for a moment).

But I noticed that during the fight scene the guy who was punched by Stede is wearing a similar cravat.

I feel really unhappy.

Oh my goodness

hey remember when taika posted this

I am very tired.

I don't feel like I have friends.

I have people I talk to, we hang out. But I don't LIKE them. I don't like them the way I want to. Am I dumb? Am i doing stupid shit? Is this how it's supposed to be? Is this the extent to which other people like their friends?

Is what I want even possible?

I consume american media or media in english pretty much all the time (tiktok has a lot more different content in english than in any other language)

And I kinda wish I had an american friend because I just know a lot about usa because of tiktok

It wasn't intentional, it's not like I think usa is that great and I wouldn't want to live there (especially now that trump won) but I just have too many jokes and themes that I can't discuss with people around me because they don't know english that well or aren't in the same media-bubble as me

So this is my official request for a friend

I love fantasy and tv shows, I love isekai, I am very left leaning although I wouldn't call myself an activist. I think I have adhd and asd. I like different teas and herbs

Edit: i am 24f, I forgot to mention that. And I want to discuss politics.

So if you maybe would like to have a friend from another country pls leave a comment

God

I feel so goddamn lonely

And lost

And tired

I guess it's good that I'm not in a relationship bc it would be shitty for the other person

But i wish i had a really close friend

Idk, somehow relationships always seem like putting a lot on the other person and i just don't want to burden them

Good god i feel like this permanent feeling of this huge burden will kill me

Even though nothing really hard is happening anymore

And I really miss my ex even though i don't feel like i could make myself rely on him bc of feeling guilty for burdening

My mind is a mess