I Am Very Tired.

So I saw people talk about grey star jacket that Ed's wearing on the picture with Jackie.

And when I watched analysis of the trailer I noticed that Buttons is wearing the same jacket (and i didn't see anyone talking about it). So it might be a uniform or they were wearing the same thing at different points of time.

Also we saw Stede wearing a red cravat. And some people assumed it was Ed's cloth (maybe I'm wrong and I just thought that for a moment).

But I noticed that during the fight scene the guy who was punched by Stede is wearing a similar cravat.

I feel really unhappy.

I feel bad

I feel bad

I feel bad

I feel bad

I feel bad

Okay so I recently watched OFMD season 1 and I just kept constantly hearing Ed's laugh in my ears until I realised it was NOT Ed's laugh.

It took me a minute to figure out but I finally remembered. And... This makes so much sense. It's literally them.

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I see myself having a family eventually. Not now though. I can't spend a lot of time with people, it's tiring. I am so peaceful right now during quarantine.

This makes me wonder if I will ever feel sourceful (if you can say it like these) to have someone for a long time in my life. Especially children. Will I ever feel like I won't be completely out of energy after just some time?

So I made a joke (i hope it's not rude)

Right now I realized yet again that I don't really know whom could I write about being nervous or anything. I don't really communicate with people from my university group. And noone else can understand what is going on. I don't want to make people worried or also nervous about things I am worried about.

I hope good things happen in 2025. I wish I would find a friend. I wish interesting things would happen.

I wish. For that. Which is unrealistic and dumb. Wow. I'm not going to say what it is.

A friend. Please. God, please. It's like I didn't ever try. It's not my fault I don't like them. I shouldn't take up someone's time if I don't like them.

What should I do?

I consume american media or media in english pretty much all the time (tiktok has a lot more different content in english than in any other language)

And I kinda wish I had an american friend because I just know a lot about usa because of tiktok

It wasn't intentional, it's not like I think usa is that great and I wouldn't want to live there (especially now that trump won) but I just have too many jokes and themes that I can't discuss with people around me because they don't know english that well or aren't in the same media-bubble as me

So this is my official request for a friend

I love fantasy and tv shows, I love isekai, I am very left leaning although I wouldn't call myself an activist. I think I have adhd and asd. I like different teas and herbs

Edit: i am 24f, I forgot to mention that. And I want to discuss politics.

So if you maybe would like to have a friend from another country pls leave a comment