I See Myself Having A Family Eventually. Not Now Though. I Can't Spend A Lot Of Time With People, It's

Oh my goodness

hey remember when taika posted this

I guess I'm at this stage now. Huh.

Why do I even need friends? I can just think to myself things that I want to tell someone.

I can think things I want to say. I can think them through nice and hard. Think everything. I guess that's the only way.

I don't feel close to anyone. I tried to force myself. It just doesn't fucking work.

So I made a joke (i hope it's not rude)

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.

Life isn't a period of time. It feels more like a moment. I don't really understand how I am this old already and how I will become older. And i will feel the same way from the inside when I will be older. I will just be in the moment. Not in the 'live in the moment' way but in a 'remembering or planning doesn't feel real' way. And other people are the same.

This doesn't feel real. At all.

I just thought again that this "I don't hit women rule" is shit. It only means "I won't hit you until I'm really angry as hell because I think you're weak and I prefer to use my anger to hurt people physically". It just means that you're not that good in controlling yourself. People must be treated with respect no matter if they are or aren't strong enough to hit you back. It says "women are weak" and "I am quick to judge and get physical" at once. Why do you think that being fragile must be what stops you from being aggressive?

This thought is not complete but it is important.

God

Please

Listen to my fucking prayer

I do not know what to do at all

Please help me

Send me a friend or give me internal resources

Make political situation better

Or financial

Please

Give me a friend

Or a sound mind

Help me

I am so lost

I have no direction or concept

My desires are feeble

They come and pass

Please

Give me a friend

An awesome friend

And connect me back with my little sun, I miss him

Please God

I am a mess

I consume american media or media in english pretty much all the time (tiktok has a lot more different content in english than in any other language)

And I kinda wish I had an american friend because I just know a lot about usa because of tiktok

It wasn't intentional, it's not like I think usa is that great and I wouldn't want to live there (especially now that trump won) but I just have too many jokes and themes that I can't discuss with people around me because they don't know english that well or aren't in the same media-bubble as me

So this is my official request for a friend

I love fantasy and tv shows, I love isekai, I am very left leaning although I wouldn't call myself an activist. I think I have adhd and asd. I like different teas and herbs

Edit: i am 24f, I forgot to mention that. And I want to discuss politics.

So if you maybe would like to have a friend from another country pls leave a comment

God

I feel so goddamn lonely

And lost

And tired

I guess it's good that I'm not in a relationship bc it would be shitty for the other person

But i wish i had a really close friend

Idk, somehow relationships always seem like putting a lot on the other person and i just don't want to burden them

Good god i feel like this permanent feeling of this huge burden will kill me

Even though nothing really hard is happening anymore

And I really miss my ex even though i don't feel like i could make myself rely on him bc of feeling guilty for burdening

My mind is a mess

I feel bad

I feel bad

I feel bad

I feel bad

I feel bad