Please I Need Them Trapped Under Rubble Together So Bad Pleaseeee Put Them In A Dire Situation Together

no you know what you guys are right. reverse league son reveal. Jason comes back to Gotham and does his crime lord thing before tentatively starting a truce and returning to the batfam and one day Dick asks who Bruce’s favourite child is.

Bruce: i love all three of my sons equally.

Jason, without thinking: three? what about Damian?

Bruce:

Tim: who the fuck is Damian

Jason, freezing:

Jason:

Jason:

Bruce: *carefully* Jay, who is Damian?

Jason: I have to leave.

-

Jason, on the phone with Damian: so i ALMOST blew it-

Damian: ?! BUT I AM NOT READY FOR FATHER TO KNOW ABOUT ME YET-

Jason: shut the fuck up i’m older than you- and i said ALMOST. i told them that Damian was the name of my imaginary twin back when i was a kid and that i’d just gotten muddled up after the resurrection.

Jason: so you’re in the clear but when we finally do introduce you, we’re gonna have to say that Talia let me name you and i named you after my imaginary twin.

Damian:

Damian: Ahki please do not tell them that.

Jason: no im gonna. you called me a twat last week. so im gonna.

Damian: god forbid a boy try to expand his vocabulary

Neal in episode one is like “the new ones are tamper proof, never been skipped on!” about the anklet and then like a few episodes later just. cuts it off.

10 year old Dick: "Bruce, when you get married, can I be the best man?"

Bruce: "Of course, chum."

---

12 year old Dick: "Hey Clark, do you think when you get married, I can be your best man?"

Clark: "I don't see why not."

---

25 year old Dick: "In my defence, I had no way of knowing you'd end up marrying each other."

spn is so funny bc you’ll be watching the show and the fallen angel gets sent to heaven conversion therapy and lobotomized repeatedly to stop his feelings for one human being and then when he’s brainwashed and has said human beaten and bloody on his knees and they’re holding hands the human is begging not to live but for the angel to come back to him.

“I need you,” he says, and it gets through to the angel.

then the season gag reel comes out and the actors are fucking around and say “you’re my baby daddy” and “i love you too” and and trying to shove one guy’s face into the other’s crotch.

then the script for the episode makes the rounds and you find out the already devastating “i need you” was originally “i love you”

then you go to a convention and someone asks about chemistry between the characters and they call you a sick freak and put you in gay jail for having impure thoughts about the Very Heterosexual men on tv.

then years later they allegedly pay for research where they allegedly had people rate the gayness of this exact scene to get the public’s opinion on hypothetically making this relationship explicitly gay. Allegedly.

never getting over the face the priest makes when eddie says he's straight

same

Dick: Does anyone have any suggestions?

Jason: Why dont we shoot the Joker?

Dick: How that will help us in an alien invasion?

Jason: It would be really funny

Dick:

Dick: Works for me, add it to the list!

ok but admitting that you hooked up with your ex to avoid thinking about your best friend is crazy work

“what’s your aesthetic” it’s super niche actually it’s called clothes i like. hope this helps

The new Pope said Buck and Eddie have to kiss. Sorry I don't make the rules, the Pope does.

dick and jason being antagonistic siblings. no more soft shit let them punch each other at 7am bcs jason ate the last of dicks cereal. dick loses a tooth and they’re banished to opposite sides of the house until they agree to apologise to each other. they’re not allowed to sit next to each other on the couch/during meetings bcs they always end up trying to shove each other off their seats. one time jason came all the way to the manor, walked in, shot dick in the face with a water pistol, and then went back home to crime alley without saying a word. the first time red hood was asked to join the jla for a briefing on the watchtower nightwing ended up sumo-slamming him into the table and the entire jl were so freaked out by the uncharacteristic crash out that they thought nightwing was compromised by mind control, only for batman to tiredly inform them that it was because red hood had just messaged nightwing in the family groupchat that he ‘looked like a little bitch with that new haircut’.

theyre assholes with a baffling childhood bond let them act like it