Oh Fuck Oh No Oh No Oh No Purging Isn’t Working Nothings Coming Up Fuck Fuck Fuck

I miss having energy I miss having a life but Im worried that even if I recover life will still feel meaningless and I’ll just end up fat doing absolutely nothing. Like my only goal in life right now is to lose weight, it feels like I will have nothing if I stop restricting.

oh my god and I just remembered that im going to the doctors tomorrow and they might weigh me, what if I gain from eating so much today, I wanted to be underweight by the time I got weighed by a doctor again, how the fuck am I going to lose a kilo and a half overnight.

Too depressed to get all my steps in today so I’m just gonna continue my fast, it’s not like I deserve to eat after binging so much over the weekend anyways

God I miss charcuterie boards

Just broke my fast and I regret it so much, I feel sick why do I do this to myself

Just woke up and weighed in at 47.7kg, .2kg under my goal weight. I know I should be excited but I’m not, I feel indifferent. In fact, I feel more fat than ever.

My next GW is 45kg.

Day 3 of fasting, feeling too depressed to get my steps in yet again so I’m just gonna keep going and I’ll break it tmr afternoon maybe

RAHHH thank yeww !! [pretend the eyes are blue not purple…]

@flipippp @dragonflys-words @melasdiary @blackrosesyrup010 @pinksunshineeeee @coffeeandcigarettes92 @janesaddictionn + anyone else <33

new picrew chain cuz why the hell not

https://picrew.me/share?cd=Ou5y4ws9qt #Picrew #____20_

@sleepy-internet-addict @asterloid @shortcakedoggie-reblog @piko-chan @glassy-squidster-22 @coffee-dere @charactervocal02 @ki-2-ur-heart @livegastrodonreaction + any1!

I just spent 30 minutes crying in the grocery store pacing between 2 aisles because I got overwhelmed by tbe calories of everything. I feel so humiliated, I didn’t even get what I wanted I just grabbed the closest safe food (which literally has almost the exact same amount of calories in it as what I had planned on getting) and got the fuck out of there.

From here on out I’m only getting food online I’m never stepping into a grocery store again.

I used to love baking before I relapsed, I really miss it. Hopefully one day, if I finally get sick enough to deserve recovery, I can start doing it again.