Reasons I'm Starving Myself

Reasons I'm starving myself

• So I can look cute in my new grunge aesthetic

• So I can be confident enough to have sex with anyone I want

• So people think I'm beautiful

• So I can spend less money on food and more on things I need

• So I can look cute when I smoke weed instead of fat

• So I don't look gross when I eat in front of people

• So people notice and actually want to talk to me

• So I can wear a bikini this summer

• So I don't have to worry about certain angles when my picture is taken

• So I have a sharp jawline that will look good when my hair is in a bun

• So my ribs can be even more prominent and bruised

• So I can have little dainty wrists

• So I don't look huge next to my saxophone

• So I look cool playing oboe instead of weird

• So I look badass playing electric guitar instead of stupid

• So people believe I'm sick

• So I can look better than the girls my ex left me for

• So I can look cute drinking a mug of hot cocoa

• So people think I'm healthy instead of a fatass

• So I can be a skinny stoner instead of a fatass who gets the munchies

• So I can wear hoodies and not look like I'm hiding all my fat

• So when I'm in gym class, I don't look huge

• So I can take yoga classes and not be that fat girl who can't keep up

• So dark lipstick looks good on my face with my defined cheekbones

• So when I get friends, I can be the skinny one

• So I can finally love my body

Those are a few reasons I'm starving myself.

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4 years ago

You know what’s weird is not having a real concept of continuity in your life, for everything but especially for the good things. like you could be doing stuff with people you care about all week, but as soon as you have a day where nobody texts you first it’s like none of it ever counted and it starts to feel like anything you ever do is just a temporary distraction from how lonely your life really is

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kawaiidienieto1

5 years ago

That's what I'm doing now 😂

I just wish I was happy for once.

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kawaiidienieto1

5 years ago

there is a point in your depression where you just give up on getting better but you still won’t kill yourself. you just float around in this state of nothingness and don’t notice anything around you because you’re just so numb and you just don’t want to anything about it anymore

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4 years ago

Mood

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kawaiidienieto1

5 years ago

HEY, LISTEN UP

So like, I’m not sure if this is a common product known in the ED community (and if it is feel free to completely ignore this) BUT LIKE… I THINK I FOUND ONE OF MY NEW SAFE FOODS

THESE SUCKERS RIGHT HERE ARE SENT FROM THE HEAVENS I SWEAR TO GOD.

Get this, it’s 120 calories…. for 41 crackers?!

I am not even shitting you, look at this

And IF you do end up binging on the whole box (totally don’t recommend it but it happens to the best of us), it’s 420 calories! Not exactly low cal, but for binging on the whole entire box, that’s pretty good

I’m not even kidding, I ended up eating like 20 of these guys earlier and I totally expected to be filled with regret and shame but when I calculated it it was only 59 calories!!!! (In comparison: eating 20 of the Lays Original Chips would’ve been 213 calories)

And not only are they low cal, but they’re perfect if you’re having a chip/salty craving :)

Edit: Because I keep getting asked, I found these at my local Wal-Mart! I know you can also find these at Target or Amazon :)

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kawaiidienieto1

5 years ago

I’m passively suicidal

I think about suicide on a daily basis

And I have a feeling in my body that just screams “I want do die”

But I just never do it

I’m passively suicidal

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kawaiidienieto1