You Could Edit Them Saying This Into The Movies And It Fit In Perfectly

overheard in a fancy italian restaurant:

> eating lobster and jerking off are two different things

your honor i fuck wit u heavy

if either of u r on birth control when u fuckin that’s just practicing for a baby

“still crazy” has wonderful emotional lyrics and then an absolutely toe-curling sax solo. that’s S tier stuff right there.

Paul Simon will write some gut-wrenching bars about love and loss and the next verse will be like “so I’m a-walkin’ down the street”

a wikipedia poem on software entropy

my phone is a catalytic converter that turns wifi into bad vibes

someone is afraid to use their toes

I'm feeling primal, I should devour a Costco rotisserie chicken with my hands

i triple dog dare you to post this on r/economics

We gotta stop trying to guide our economy based on financial metrics - growth is more likely to harm livelihoods than help them at this point

one must imagine sisyphus having good work-life balance

a notification? for me 🥺🥺🥺?

oh right. that. i forgot about that.