Bouta Get Intubated For Tube Tuesday

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. The silence is deafening.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require you to create an account on the company website. You leave a trail of ghost accounts that will be used once and never again. You never receive a response.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but it's so rare for you to receive any response that you forget to check the website and you miss the time.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers an interview, but you don't know the magic words that signal to the esoteric mind of an interviewer that you're fit for the job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer e-mails you saying that 'unfortunately, you do not have the qualifications we are looking for'. You check the job again and see you applied to be a menial labourer.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. Half of them require a car. No one stops to ask how you're supposed to afford one with no job.

You apply for 20 jobs on Indeed. One employer offers a job. The commute makes you want to die in your sleep.

You call the HR manager for the workplace in hopes of arranging an interview more directly. They don't even have an answering machine.

Employers complain that no one wants to work anymore.

airport pro tip: store your IEDs towards the top of your luggage so that they can easily accessed during checkpoints and promptly deployed mid-flight.

“my flaccid penis looks like luigi’s vacuum”

she wacom on my tablet till i draw

ankle deep in my own milk

brooo last night was a live leak clip

bottoming so women will lay on top of me like a weighted blanket

i wanna be so close with a british person that they don’t do the accent when it’s just the two of us

They call me J.R.R Jelqing, on account of me being a big Tolkien fan. Also I can oft be found in my study jelqing just like the old masters.

overheard in a fancy italian restaurant:

> eating lobster and jerking off are two different things