Big Birb Hug

Me: *Binges literally all day*

My ed:

Who would've thought ?!?!? Exercising actually helps with my anxiety !!! As it has always done. I missed exercising so much

Now time to study once again

She's probably right, there's something wrong with me. But I'm not sure what it is exactly. What i know is that I'm slowly liking her more and more than i expected to. And i love that. But I'm scared of getting hurt again by somebody, sobre todo because I'm giving her the keys to where my heart is.

¿Me quieres qué?

I miss the hospital, i genuinely felt happy to be there. People were treating me right, my mental illness was recognised, my parents weren't fighting (at least not in front of me).

as promised.. its me! im a hate anon!! you suck!!!

Best hate anon ever, that ed girl could never, she aspires to be like you

whoops, i've been told that "it is not abuse 'cause is for your own good", the harm my parents did to me for my own good turned me in a traumatized child, with fear. Nobody who was physically abused as a child turned out okay.

being spanked is abuse

being slapped is abuse

being physically harmed or hit in any way by a person in power over you is abuse

being intimidated and terrified into thinking that they’ll hit you is abuse

being forced into state where you flinch when their tone of voice changes is abuse

being sure that you’re dead when they lift their hand is heavy psychological abuse

being hit with your own hand is abuse (abuser forcing your hand to strike your body)

feeling like you have to keep a happy face and pretend that everything is okay is abuse

feeling like you haven’t been hit enough and like you deserve more is abuse

having a person with power want to cause physical harm to when you have no way to defend yourself is abuse

controlling your reactions is abuse

demanding a different reaction after physical harm is abuse

demanding no fear, no anger, no bitterness, no symptoms after being hit is abuse

forbidding expression of pain and fear and anger is abuse

subtly letting you know that you can’t tell anyone about what they did is abuse and silencing technique

shaming you for hitting you is abuse

demanding that it’s your fault if you get traumatized by physical harm is abuse

claiming that it’s you who is violent if you resist or try to escape or fight back is abuse

if any of this was done to you: you have been abused

if this was done to you and you don’t think it was harmful: you are wrong

if you dare to comment “i was hit and i turned out okay”: nobody who thinks any of this is alright to do to a child has turned out okay

some days ago i was playing poker with my family, and speaking french (because they know that helps me with practice).

Then my dad comes to play.

my dad and my little brother started arguing about something of the cards and-

LB: he does that all the time, doesn´t he?

Me: C´est la verite

LB: thE whAT¿?

Dad: *staring at me*

Me: ThE tRutH

Dad: *laughs*

i know it´s ridiculous, but y´all don´t know how insecure my dad makes me about the languages i speak, i still insult everybody in french while we play poker ´cause that´s what i do better 💖

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle