Shivers Down My Spine WHAT IS HAPPENING

I've been insecure since that "ohh, but if it was a comment about fucking you, you wouldn't be so mad" by one of those tinder girls. I'm afraid she'll leave me, even worse, she'll leave because I'm an easy girl and i never communicate

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

I'll see the psychiatrist on Saturday

He's not gonna believe me when I tell him how I feel like, he's just gonna ask about med school and how I possibly have ADD. Idk doci feel lost in class but I also feel lost in life, like, I didn't feel like myself, but who am I at the end of the they but my thoughts and worries, my past and future, the way I can't trust people, not even those who are supposed to be there for me. I'm broken and I know there's something wrong with me

Some friend of my cousin committed recently. I was so sad even tho it didn't know really well that kid, but he was my age. My mom was devastated, so must be my cousin and aunt. It's really tragic. And it makes me circle around the idea of it.

How come i wanna tear my hair out, my organs want to get out of my body, I'm gonna infect everybody with what it's going on inside of me I'M DONE WIHMTH BEING CRAZY I DLNT WANT THIS

If I'm happy i don't wanna take my meds because "i feel normal again", if I'm sad I don't wanna take them because "what's the point". Then i get even crazier and think "I'm not ill, why should i!!!!"

Why do i get so annoyed by him using my stickers

Me: -Eats 53 calories more than 400-

My ed: bITCH WTF YOU'RE DOING, THAT IS GONNA AFFECT YOUR WEIGHT LATER, thAT'S WHY YOU STILL IN THAT WEIGHT

Me:

My dad came back home just to sit in the table i was studyng at, while he was in a videocall talking and getting drunk with his friends, i love my dad so much i went to my bedroom ´cause i can´t even study in my own house without being bothered💗

ED things

You know its bad when the first thing you notice about anyone is how thin their legs are and if they have noticeable collarbones or not. Then compare yourself to them all the time and fall down a deep pit of self-hate