My Default Setting Is Assuming People Don’t Want To Talk To Me

CAMERON MONAGHAN & NOEL FISHER (Infinity Con 2024 promo) SHAMELESS (Season 10, Episode 2)

Nothing will ruin your 20’s more than thinking you should have your life together already.

Thanks for everything, Kepner

You didn’t have it all together when you first came on the scene. You weren’t really sure what your exact purpose was, but you knew you had one. It was so easy to see you had a heart of gold and while you were a bit idealistic for my usual tastes - you were genuine. I liked that. 

I watched you struggle, make mistakes, and fail. I saw you get knocked down more times than I can count, but I also saw how many times you got back up. People didn’t make it easy for you. It was a little too easy to pick on you and pick on you they did. You were the butt of many jokes, but you took it right in stride and kept your eye on what you wanted. You knew who April Kepner was and that is all that mattered. 

I watched you fall in love with your best friend. I watched you change a young man who could have taken a very different path without your influence. It was so frustrating that you couldn’t see yourself the way he saw you. It was even more frustrating to see you make the wrong choice when the right one was in front of you. You were finally coming into your own professionally and I wanted to scream that you couldn’t seem to get it together personally. 

I watched someone who had always been so calculated and cautious throw it all to the wind and take a risk. I watched her finally follow her heart. You married your best friend and were the happiest you’d ever been. The kind of happiness that is palpable. Yeah, it was crazy but that’s what made it all the more wonderful. 

I watched you struggle through the early days of marriage. Learning to live together, learning to share finances, learning to navigate the differences in beliefs, and the Mother-in-law. Oh, the Mother-in-law. I sat in my living room with my jaw on the floor the night you very abruptly announced you were pregnant. I was so happy watching you prepare for the addition to your family. This person who had struggled so much in the beginning had finally come into her own. Trauma surgeon, wife, and very soon….Mom. 

I cried as you were given the worst news possible. I sat there shocked as you made the hardest, most selfless decision a person could possibly make. I sobbed as you struggled with the decision and gave birth to your baby boy. My heart was broken as you let him go. 

I watched you struggle in the aftermath of losing him. I watched you push everyone and everything away. For someone who had been knocked down time after time and gotten back up - this was bigger than all of that. You couldn’t find solid ground and you did what you had to do to survive.

I watched as you discovered that sometimes the hurt is simply too great, but that second chances were possible. I was equal parts horrified and elated to watch your baby girl come into the world. I was so certain she would be the road back. Things didn’t go quite as I’d hoped or even liked, but you made it. At the end of this wild ride, you made it. From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows, you made it. 

In a world full of Merediths, I thank you for teaching us it was ok to be an April. It was ok to march to the beat of our own drum. It was ok to fall down sometimes just as long as we got back up. It was ok to make mistakes. It was ok for life to be a mess. It was ok to stand for what we believe in even if it’s not the popular thing. It was ok to not be ok. It was ok to be ourselves.

So, at the end of her 9 year journey, I simply want to say thanks for everything. I laughed, I cried, I grieved, and I celebrated while watching the crazy, wonderful, messy, beautiful life that was April Kepner. 

When I think about it, I’m not sure what upsets me more: j*ggie? Or the fact they gave us Montana and than swept them completely aside with no explanation and no closure just to give us jaggie?

Maybe I would be able to accept j*ggie if japril had anything resembling closure? Maybe I would just be disgruntled instead of feeling like I’ve been slapped in the face.

Cause when I think back I can’t believe that they built up japrils season 13 arc to cumulate to the Montana episode to just…not follow thru or follow at all! And this isn’t a ploy to have a season finale cliffhanger, they went to Montana and slept together (which is a big deal!) and then japril didn’t interact for SEVEN FUCKING EPISODES!!! That infuriates me! Take a damn stand you freaking wussies!

The first 18 years of your life is not representative of how the rest will go. The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be.

Hey if you’re recovering from anything at all and trying to heal from something that hurt you, I support you 100% and I think you’re pretty brave. I don’t care about what you’re recovering from, how you’re doing it, the time it takes you to do it, or the people you surround yourself with in this process. Don’t let others shame you into thinking your recovery is somehow lesser or not worth it. Don’t let others shame you for being in recovery in the first place. Healing is so fucking hard and the people who are belittling you and your story simply don’t understand your struggle. Forget them. Focus on you. You’ve got this. 

Did anyone else try to imagine that the flirty scene between Minnick and Arizona in the elevator last night was instead Jackson and April? 👇 this Japril: Come back to us! Please?

IF SARAH GOES SO DO WE

- Just thinking about our track record in hotels. - What about it?

- Just thinking about our track record in hotels. - What about it?