I Am Currently Very Afraid Of Being Stupid And Dumb. It’s The Worst Thing One Can Be. I’m Afraid

Ordered a linear algebra text book. Came today. Very pleased. Flipped through it and frowned. What is this! I plan to read through it a bit before classes start this fall because I’m taking diff eq and linear algebra and I am quite unfamiliar with linear algebra

Going through periods of health scares when I notice something about my body and think I’m dying but eventually it turns out to be nothing/normal but nonetheless doesn’t feel less scary each time

Perhaps I’ll learn to play the piano in the future

Assumptions on me

Brain : smooth

Activity: negligible

Sappho, If Not Winter: Fragments of Sappho (tr. by Anne Carson)

Violent thoughts everyday

Wistful ache from morning to noon and sheer violence from noon onward

There is no desire without fear.

Need to be healthy need to take care of my body Need to tend to this vessel need to maintain it need to eat healthy no junk food I need to exercise