Going Through Periods Of Health Scares When I Notice Something About My Body And Think I’m Dying But

But Please Plato . . . I am worthy .

2yrs in university. Friends made: none

Assumptions on me

Brain : smooth

Activity: negligible

I need people to stop interpreting my fear as regret. Let me feel afraid. Let me have the courage to do what I want and if I become afraid in the process, don’t interpret that as regret and argue I was better off doing something else! I feel afraid very often and if this fear is indeed regret maybe I should kill myself

Perhaps I’ll learn to play the piano in the future

I am currently very afraid of being stupid and dumb. It’s the worst thing one can be. I’m afraid I’ll dumb down even more I can’t imagine living a life where I’m stupid and dumb and I continue to get more stupid and dumb. It’s my nightmare I need to exercise my brain

Sappho, If Not Winter: Fragments of Sappho (tr. by Anne Carson)