In Honor Of Asexual Awareness Week Coming Up;

Y'all just know that feeling?

LET'S MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING MAPS

YOU NEED

A BIG SHEET OF PAPER & A PENCIL

SOME MOTHER FUCKING MACCARONI (MAKE SURE THEY’RE DRY BRO DON’T WANT NO STICKY-ICKY MAP)

AIGHT THAT SHIT DON’T LOOK LIKE NO COUNTRY I KNOW (EXCEPT MAYBE AUSTRALIA FUCK THEM THOUGH)

ORGANIZE YOUR MACCARONI! MAKE SOME FUCKING COASTLINES!

BETTER, BUT NOT FUCKING GOOD! WHATEVER, TRACE THE COASTLINE WITH YOUR PENCIL. BE SURE TO BE SLIGHTLY SQUIGGLY AND, OH, FUCK THOSE LITTLE ISLANDS YOU MADE THEY’RE NOT BIG ENOUGH TO BE WOBBLY ENOUGH SO YOU’RE BETTER OFF USING EITHER RICE (OR SIMILAR) OR JUST TRY TO MAKE SOME REALISTIC FUCKING ISLANDS (SPOILER: YOU WON’T)

GOOD ENOUGH I GUESS WHATEVER LOOK AT THAT VAGUE SORT OF ISLAND/COUNTRY/CONTINENT SHAPED PIECE OF SHIT. SEE THE ISLANDS? I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO DAWG.

NOW TAKE A SHARPIE AND MAKE EVEN SQUIGGLIER FUCKING LINES AS YOU FILL IN YOUR ISOUNINENT

LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL PIECE OF SHIT IT TOOK ME LITERALLY TEN MINUTES TO MAKE TOPS AND NOW YOU JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHERE TO PUT ALL YOUR DWARF-FUCKING ELVES AND LIZARD-PEOPLE WITH BOOBS

FUCKING GOOD JOB

I don't know if anyone else has a favorite type of cell but I do and it's a macrophage

here’s a secret message only people on mobile can see 🆒 🅱🅾🅾🅱

while he’s “roughly the size of a barge” and dumb as hell, gaston is NOT a himbo because he’s missing the ultimate himbo factor: kindness

Me: okay so my parents just yelled at me for not doing my homework so I gotta g

My brain: You should make little name tags for your succulents

Me, using tape as lamination in case the paper gets wet: God damn it Jeffrey

My inner lonely lesbian has two moods.

1) banging pots and pans to cry about how I don't have a gf I just wanna cuddle someone and do really dumb domestic stuff with her and sappho pleASE STOP MAKING ME LESBIALONE

2) dressing up pretty and swaggering with confidence because "every day is girlfriend hunting day" then getting bitchslapped silent by anxiety (Jeffrey) when there is a cute girl who wants to talk to me

You know sometimes my vibes are like . . . Overwhelmingly ^^^^^^^^ so I have to aggressively ______ back until the vibes even out into the normal ~~~~~~~

You only have however long you want to reblog this the joke noclipped!

I've lived with cats my entire life, and so I think it's funny when I look at my cat and my brain's like "you mean that's NOT a four-legged person?"